Once More with Feeling
by Chicken Train And Laser Beam
Summary: After an unexpected turn on a mission with Team Seven, Kakashi Hatake wakes up in the past, stuck in the body of his thirteen-year-old self. Armed with the knowledge of the future, Kakashi decides to save Konoha from the horrors of the Fourth Ninja World War before they can begin. But, will he ever see his Team Seven again?
1. Blame it on Things

**A/N:** Howdy, y'all, and welcome to our story! We're Chicken Train and Laser Beam—a pair of sisters who decided to co-create a serious, canon-compliant, time travel fanfiction. We have a couple things we want to note, but those can wait until the end of the chapter. So, without further ado...

 **Chapter 1:**

 **Blame it on Things that Shouldn't Be Touched**

 **AKA**

" **Enterlude" by The Killers**

(Why Six is Afraid of Five)

When Kakashi Hatake heard Tsunade kick in his front door shortly after nine, he wasn't the least bit surprised. In fact, he had been expecting this act of breaking-and-entering for some time now and had a cup of sake waiting for her.

Kakashi fully took over the Hokage position four years ago, relieving Tsunade of her bureaucratic burdens. With her newfound freedom, she begun avoiding politics like the plague. Between keeping an eye on the hospital and getting back in touch with her love of gambling, she kept herself busy enough to dodge any requests for favors or advice.

On occasion, though, she would disagree with some of the choices he made as the Sixth Hokage. When word of these incidents got around to her, she would break into his house and berate him until they were both far more stressed than when they began.

The first time, after Kakashi had made an admittedly poor diplomatic decision regarding the Land of Lightning, she threw his dining table at his face. His reflexes were plenty fast enough to dodge it, but the table itself hit the back wall and shattered into thousands of splintered pieces. Since then, through a process of trial and error, he found that a glass of alcohol could placate her into sparing his furniture.

In the same way that Kakashi used aloofness and distance to deal with problems, Tsunade used her near-endless supply of anger. He tried not to hold it against her, for Tsunade's wrath had done a surprising number of good things for the world, but he did wish their interactions were a little less volatile.

Tonight, however, she did not immediately storm into the kitchen and start screaming or throwing things, her blonde pigtails whipping around like cyclones behind her. With an unusual amount of somberness and composure, she walked inside the room as calmly as if he had invited her in and took a seat at the empty space across from him. A whirlwind of thoughts were blowing to and fro behind her amber eyes, but her face was tightly locked in a neutral expression.

It was, in a way, far more terrifying than her being angry. He knew she must be afraid, for he was afraid himself, so for her to have reached a level of stone-cold fear that even anger could not push aside did not make their situation seem any less bleak.

"So," she said, taking the glass but not drinking from it. "I take it the reconnaissance squad did _not_ bring good news?"

Earlier in the day, word had trickled in of suspicious happenings at the Valley of the End. So, he had sent a group of Jōnin to gather intel.

"They were unable to approach the Valley," said Kakashi. "Due to, what they described as, an 'evil presence.'"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow as she traced the circular edge of her glass with her pointer finger. "Evil presence?"

"Specifically," he said, picking up one of the pieces of paper in front of him and handing it across the table to her. The writing on the paper was messy, nearly unreadable, due to the emotional distress of its author. "This is the mission report that Kenshin Yamanaka, the leader of the squad, gave me."

Accepting the piece of paper, Tsunade cleared her throat.

"'It was like being possessed,'" she read aloud. "'As we approached the Valley of the End, and evil presence began to take over us. Every fear, every regret, every dark thought we'd ever had pushed to the forefront of our minds.

"'Some of us handled it better than others, but we all found it increasingly hard to press forward as we got closer to the Valley. Eventually, a few members of the squad snapped and began to attack the rest of us. They were completely dazed over and did not respond to reason. Once we managed to subdue them, I deemed the mission too risky to continue.

"'Once we got far enough away from the Valley, the presence began to dissipate and the violent spell that took ahold of our teammates faded away. They could remember attacking the rest of us, but they could not remember why and were remorseful. Though we could not finish the mission, we were able to determine that the cause of the evil presence was not a sentient being or a genjutsu.'"

Looking no less confused than when she started reading, Tsunade handed the paper back to Kakashi. "Well," she said. "That's…different."

Nodding, he shuffled the piece of paper back into his stack and gently tapped them on the table several times to realign them. It gave him something to do while he waited for her to speak.

"So, I take it you're assuming the worst?" she said. "That this has something to do with Kaguya?"

"Would you assume any different, given the location?" he asked.

"No," she admitted. "But what I would _not_ do—" She stood up and slammed her hands on the table, finding the strength to be angry at last. "—is send Team Seven, yourself included, on a mission to the Valley of the End _tonight_."

"If this does have something to do with Kaguya, we can't afford to waste any time."

"This sure as hell could wait thirty-six hours, Kakashi. Send a team to stand guard in the meantime—"

"So they can stand around until they attack each other?" asked Kakashi, growing irritated. "You know as well as I do that we can't afford to take any chances. _In case you've forgotten_ , the last time Kaguya showed up, she nearly enslaved the entire world."

"In case _you've_ forgotten, tomorrow—"

"I know what tomorrow is," he said, standing too. He understood her parental protectiveness of tomorrow, because he felt it too, but he couldn't let that get in the way of making the right decision for Konoha. "You're not the only one who cares about Sakura. I'll have all three of them back by tomorrow morning."

"You'd better," she said. "Because if you make Sakura and Sasuke miss their own wedding, I'm going to kill you."

Kakashi didn't doubt it.

"I understand that Naruto and Sasuke have to go," she said, as if trying to talk herself into the plan. "In case something—or someone—needs to be sealed. But why send you and Sakura? If you both stay here, you can look after the village like you're supposed to and Sakura can take care of any last minute wedding details in the morning."

"Sakura is not going to be willingly left behind."

"And you?"

"If you think that looking after the village for a few hours is outside your realm of capability," he said. "I can find someone else to do it."

"You're dodging the question."

She wasn't wrong. "Six years ago," he said. "The four of us managed to stop Kaguya. If this does have something to do with her, the four of us are the most likely to do it again."

"That's such _bullshit_ ," she said, knocking her glass of sake to the floor, causing it to rupture into a million little, glass shards. "You're going along because you're afraid that something is going to happen to them and you don't want to feel responsible or be left behind if it does."

"And what would you be doing?" he asked coldly. "If you were in my place?"

"No one's ever said that I make good emotional decisions." She looked at him sharply. "But you'resupposed to be better than that. We're _both_ supposed to be better than that."

Tsunade and Kakashi were quite similar, really: both of them, at one point, had lost the people they cared about most and blamed themselves for it, both had proceeded to become shells of their former selves for over a decade, both had been snapped out of it by Naruto Uzumaki, and both had somehow stumbled their way into the Hokage position. Konoha—and by some extension, the entire world—looked up to them as two of the greatest ninja of their time.

However, when in the company of just each other, it was easy for them to remember that they were _not_ the unshakeable pillars of strength and wisdom that Konoha saw them as—the legendary Fifth and Sixth Hokage. In the quiet dark of Kakashi's kitchen, they were just as lost as everyone else, a mirror for the other's failures and insecurities, wondering how the hell they ended up as the best candidates for Hokage.

"Maybe we aren't better than that," he said.

"Maybe," she agreed.

The fight seemed to leave them all at once, and for several moments, neither of them said anything. There was still an uncomfortable tenseness in the room, but it had less to do with their quarrel and more to do with the threat of Kaguya slinking around in the shadows. Despite Tsunade's eternal youth, Kakashi was struck by how _old_ she looked. There was a haunted, weary look in her eyes that betrayed that Tsunade was three times the age of her physical appearance. Kakashi, at only thirty-seven, was starting to think of himself as old and worn, and he wondered how Tsunade viewed herself.

"Would you like another drink?" he asked, unsure of what else to offer her.

"Yeah," she said, collapsing in her chair. "Just bring me the bottle."

He did as she asked. Gratefully, she raised the bottle to him in cheers and took a long drink.

"Where are they?" asked Tsunade. "Team Seven?"

"At a bar on the eastern end of town with their friends," said Kakashi, taking a seat himself. The Konoha Eleven had a tradition, the night or so before one of them was to be married, of renting out a place called Break My Back and celebrating. "I'm trying to give them as much time as I can."

"Bring them back safe," she said. "We're going to have a lot more problems than our grief if something happens to them."

"I will."

"And don't you go off and die either. If you pull a Fourth and make me become Hokage again, I'm going to be pissed."

"It would be such a shame if I interrupted your extremely fulfilling retirement," he teased.

"Gambling _is_ fulfilling," she said, gesturing towards him with the bottle of sake. "Besides, I've earned it. I know you like to point out how you had to personally take on Kaguya, but running a country during that time was no walk in the park either."

"You were in a coma for half of it."

"Oh, don't be clever. I was awake for the important parts. If I recall correctly, you _died_ at one point, so I think I still come out ahead of you."

Smiling despite himself, Kakashi supposed that he considered Tsunade a friend. When she wasn't destroying his belongings, he really did enjoy her company. Their conversations held a sense of honesty that he couldn't quite find with anyone else. She, more than anyone, understood how little he knew what he was doing when it came to leading a ninja village, because she had been in the exact same position.

"If you say so," he said. "You'll look after things while I'm gone?"

"Only until morning," she said. "After that, I'm handing control of the village to a squad of the most hyperactive academy students I can find, so you'd better be back before then."

"Thank you."

(Fairy Tales Pt. 1)

Once upon a time, when the ninja villages were still fresh saplings blooming into the roots of the world, and the First Ninja World War was nothing more than a whisper in the wind, there was a man in Konoha named Shochu. Neither a noble nor a ninja, Shochu considered himself rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things. He ran with a crowd of similarly unimportant people, who were all stuck midway in a season of youth: both full of the desire to revolutionize the world and bitterly aware that they were the wrong people at the wrong time to change anything.

So, like many young and foolish people before them, they all decided to get really, _really_ drunk.

It had started as a drinking contest among friends, but what it ended as, Shochu could not remember. The only clear memory he had in the blur of summer heat and lights and the sound of sunset frogs was meeting pretty girl, whose golden hair glowed softly underneath the sky like starlight. Her voice as light as the July breeze, she had been singing sweetly to the moon, surrounded by her own group of laughing, inebriated friends. Shochu did not believe in love at first sight, particularly while under the influence of alcohol, but seeing the girl of starlight for the first time had to be something close.

Twelve hours later, Shochu woke up in a cold, ivory hospital room, every inch of his body aching in regret. The golden-haired girl (he desperately racked his brain to try and figure out her name, but he came up with nothing) was sitting beside his hospital bed with a book in her hands. She smiled softly when his eyes fluttered open. The supervising medical-nin, who was taking Shochu's vitals, looked less pleased.

"Son," said the medical-nin, in disappointment. "You managed to break your back."

"Break my back?" croaked Shochu, his throat still raw from the burn of alcohol.

"You'll recover, but it's not going to be pleasant. Do you remember what happened?"

Shochu shook his head.

"You were trying to climb a tree," said the girl. "And, um, fell. Just outside the city limits."

"What was I doing up in a tree?" asked Shochu.

"You said you were going to try and impress me."

Using what little motion he could manage, he craned his neck to look her in the face. Even without the rosy goggles of alcohol, she was the loveliest woman he'd ever seen. And, after all, she _had_ stayed. "Did it work?"

"Well," she said, giggling. "I've never had someone fall out of a tree for me before."

Many people would have taken waking up in a hospital room with a broken back and no memory of the event as a sign to get sober. Shochu, however, figuring he still had a girl to impress, decided the best course of action was to open a pub. As soon as he was able to walk again, he bought a shack in the eastern end of Konoha, did the best he could with renovations (with some help from his Starlight, who as it turned out, had quite a knack for that sort of thing), and opened Break My Back a few months later.

Break My Back did not take off quite like Shochu had hoped, only getting just enough business to get by. However, his Starlight was impressed all the same. They married the following summer, in a short-but-sweet ordeal attended by all of their friends.

They were unimportant, in the grand scheme of things. However, Shochu reckoned that owning a dusty, wooden bar with the love of his life was a good enough reason for carrying on.

(Fairy Tales Pt. 2)

Once upon a time, when the fresh wounds of the Fourth Ninja World War were just starting to mend, Sakura Haruno found herself in need of a quiet drink. With a considerable amount of desperation, she stumbled upon a dusty, wooden bar in the eastern end of town. It looked ancient compared to the polished buildings beside it and was barely the size of a small apartment, but it was empty. For that kind of peace, Sakura was willing to do a lot worse.

Due to her accomplishments during the war and her recent venture into creating pediatric mental health care, Sakura had gained a significant amount of notoriety. When she went out in public, all sorts of people wanted to just _talk_ to her. Families thanked her as she bought her groceries; little girls asked how they could grow up to be like her as she passed the academy on her morning run; people pressed for stories of the war when she went out on the town at night; parents asked for advice regarding their children as she made her way home from hospital shifts.

During such occasions, Sakura smiled, answered their questions, and did her best to not be overwhelmed by it all. After all, to be held in such high esteem was a great honor and she wanted help as many people as she could.

Still, she could not shake the feeling that they were all wildly mistaken. When she looked into the mirror, all she saw was a nineteen-year-old girl, just as lost and unsure as nineteen-year-olds tended to be. She was a powerful ninja, certainly, but becoming a "war hero" had not granted her the wisdom that people expected. In fact, the only thing saving the world had taught Sakura was that she knew nothing at all.

Once, a few months after the war had ended, she brought up these concerns with Tsunade, who told her something that forever changed the way she looked up to people.

" _Kid," she'd said. "Welcome to the rest of your life. None of us have any idea what we're doing. All we can do is fake it well enough that people feel secure and hope that things don't go too badly."_

So, Sakura did. She smiled, answered their questions like she had an authority to do so, and did her best to not be overwhelmed by it all.

Sometimes, though, she just needed to stop pretending.

"Welcome to Break My Back," said the barkeep. At least in his late eighties, he was completely bald and hunched over with the weight of age. His entire face was heavily wrinkled, but his laugh lines were particularly deep. "What can I get you?"

"Gin and tonic, please," said Sakura, taking a seat at the bar.

The pair sat in silence as Sakura drank her first drink and then another and then _another_ , but when she ordered her fourth, the bartender asked, "Did someone break your heart or something?"

"What?" she asked.

"You're a little young to be drinking this much."

"You're a little old to be managing a bar," she shot back.

"Oldest bartender in town," he said, smiling. "My name's Shochu."

Sakura childishly considered giving a fake name, wanting just for a night to pretend like she was something other than Sakura Haruno, but she ultimately decided against it. "I'm Sakura."

"You wouldn't be Sakura Haruno, would you?" She nodded, causing him to raise his pale, thinning eyebrows. " _Really_?"

"How many pink-haired people do you see every day?"

"It's just—" There was an exhausted look in his eyes, and Sakura found herself wondering how old he truly was. "—you're a little young to be a famous war veteran. I suppose your next drink is on me, though, since you helped save the world and all."

"You really don't have to do that," she insisted.

"Don't take it personally," he said, grinning again. "This bar's seen all four Ninja World Wars and I've given free drinks to veterans from all of them. It would be distasteful to stop now."

"Okay." She smiled and relaxed a bit, letting the buzz from the alcohol soothe her stress from the day. But, she couldn't resist curiously asking, "All four ninja world wars?"

"Yup," he said, his eyes beaming with pride. "I started this thing a couple years before the first. In fact, during the First Ninja World War—"

A surprisingly good story-teller, he recounted a slew of memories to her, all from different ages of Konoha. She listened intently for several hours and was coaxed into eventually sharing some of her own tales, launching a bizarre sort of friendship.

They each justified it in their own ways. Sakura would tell herself, when she repeatedly went back to the bar in the following months, that he was just interesting to listen to. As one of the oldest people in Konoha, he was a walking history book. His stories were a nice place to escape to when the present got too overwhelming.

Shochu would tell himself, as he told her all sorts of stories in her following visits, that she was just interesting to be near. Unlike Shochu, Sakura _was_ important in the grand scheme of things. By the age Shochu was when he opened Break My Back, Sakura had helped to stop the apocalypse and was opening her own children's clinics. She was changing in the world in ways he could have only dreamed of, and her significance, though she seldom acknowledged it, was fascinating.

In reality, they were both drawn to friendship with one another because they were both lonely. Shochu's Starlight did not quite make it to see the Fourth Ninja World War, succumbing to a heart attack in her sleep a few years previous. And though all of Sakura's friends were falling in love and starting a new chapter in their lives, Sakura herself only had faint dreams of a dark-haired boy halfway across the world. The bar, though they didn't like to admit it, was a shared limbo for them—one where Sakura was waiting to live and Shochu was waiting to die.

* * *

Nearly a year after her first visit, the regulars at Break My Back had grown used to Sakura's occasional company. The bubbly, pink-haired nineteen-year-old stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the bar's usual clientele—mostly reclusive, older folk who needed a place to get out to every once in awhile. However, she eventually faded into the background, just like everything else at Break My Back, and no one even looked up from their drinks when she entered anymore.

"Welcome to Break My Back," said Shochu, as she entered. "What can I get for you today?"

"A favor," she said, a wide grin plastered across her face. "If that's alright."

"What do you have in mind?"

"In a few weeks, two friends of mine are getting married," she said. "But a few days before that, we want to all get together to have drinks and catch up. Would you mind hosting a party of ten?"

"I think I can manage that," he said, smiling. "Who's the lucky two?"

"I've told you about them before: my teammate Naruto and his fiancé Hinata."

Shochu had learned to react to Sakura being good friends with a variety of well-known people with nonchalance. The rest of the regulars, however, were less subtle.

" _The_ Naruto?" asked a stocky woman with a choppy, brown haircut, down at the end of the bar.

"No, her _other_ teammate Naruto," said the man beside her sarcastically. "The one who scrubs dishes down the road."

"Well how was I supposed to know she knew _the_ Naruto—"

"Oh, knock it off, both of you," said Shochu, before turning back to Sakura. "Bring your friends around. I'll take care of them."

* * *

Much to Shochu's pleasure, Break My Back became the official spot of the Konoha Eleven's pre-wedding get togethers. They were perhaps the most important thing his bar had ever done and he lamented that his Starlight did not make it to see them.

The other nine surviving Konoha Eleven, like Sakura, were at first glance much younger and more down-to-earth than he expected them to be. If he had not been warned in advance, he would never have known that they were the fabled Eleven. Crammed around a table too small for the ten of them, laughing and drinking, they reminded him of his own friends when he was around that age.

So, like he found with Sakura, it was jarring to hear them talk about their mission work as casually as a laborer might discuss his day-to-day. Though they looked barely older than children, they regularly carried out tasks that were beyond anything Shochu could dream of. They carried the danger and pressure with more grace than their age should have allowed.

Shochu supposed that was the real difference between extraordinary people like them and regular people like him—the ability to persevere despite the extreme circumstances. As much as Shochu had fancied himself a revolutionary in his younger days, the stress of owning a barely-managing bar was more than enough for him. Still, whenever Sakura came back and asked if he would host another pre-wedding party, he always said yes. For the actual "do-ers" of the world, it was the least he could do.

* * *

Shortly after the fourth party, Sakura stopped visiting Break My Back. She was a busy woman with a lot of responsibilities, so Shochu knew better than to be worried, but he couldn't help it. Over the past few years, Shochu had started to think of her as the daughter he'd never had.

Then one day in October, just as the leaves were starting to fall, Sakura came back. With a smile brighter than he'd ever seen it, Sakura entered the bar hand-in-hand with a handsome, raven-haired boy. Shochu did not personally recognize him, but he had heard enough stories and rumors to make a decent guess at his identity.

"Welcome to Break My Back," said Shochu, grinning. "It's good to see you again, Sakura."

"He's the one I've been telling you about," she said to the man with her, leaning against his shoulder. "Sasuke, this is Shochu. Shochu, this is Sasuke Uchiha."

If Shochu thought the bar was quiet before, the noise-level was deafening compared to the complete silence after Sakura's introduction. All of his regulars paused what they were doing to look up at the man in a mix of fear and morbid curiosity.

Shochu had to admit, even with Sakura's insistence that Sasuke had changed, it was still a bit startling to see him in person. Unlike the rest of Sakura's friends, Sasuke could not blend into a crowd. There was an unquestionable air of power around him—a conflicting sense of deserved pride and remorseful humility.

"It's nice to meet you," said Sasuke civilly, extending his hand out. If he was bothered by the stares, he didn't show it, though Shochu noticed that Sakura was looking around nervously. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Likewise," said Shochu.

The two shook hands and, as Sasuke bowed his head respectfully, a mutual understanding took place. Shochu's own opinion of Sasuke aside, the Uchiha was in love with Sakura and Sakura was in love with him. Sasuke, knowing that Shochu cared about Sakura but undoubtedly had heard of Sasuke's less-than-favorable reputation, was acknowledging Shochu's place in Sakura life and, because of it, proposing a clean slate between them. For Sakura, Shochu found it in himself to nod back.

"What can I get you two this evening?"

"Two drinks," said Sakura. "And a favor."

"Who's getting married this time?" asked Shochu, playing along.

Sakura smiled up at Sasuke with all the radiance of young love, prompting Sasuke to give her a surprisingly soft smile in return. "Us."

(The Party)

When Naruto suggested a round of toasts, "here's to Sakura, for being a damn traitor" was not what he had in mind. Nevertheless, Tenten clamored to her feet using the top of Lee's head as support, raised her fifth glass of sake, and gave the toast all the same.

It had become tradition for the Konoha Eleven and their respective spouses, the night or so before someone's wedding, to go to Break My Back and celebrate and reminisce in the way that only old friends could. Somewhere along the way, it had also become tradition for Tenten to get wasted and give speeches that she heavily regretted the next morning.

Tenten was lucky that the Konoha Eleven were sentimental in nature, because otherwise someone would have tackled her to the ground.

"Tenten," said Lee sternly. "You promised you wouldn't do this."

"This one's a good one," she slurred. "I _promise_."

Being the guests of honor at that evening's gathering, Sasuke and Sakura sat at the middle-back of a dark oak table that was _just_ too small for the fourteen of them. Sakura, who was drunk on both love and vodka, _did_ briefly consider tackling Tenten to prevent her from speaking any further. This wouldn't have helped the evening be less dramatic, of course, but it wouldn't be the first time that someone had started a bar fight the night before their wedding on account of Tenten.

Sensing his fiancée's sudden flare of violence, Sasuke squeezed her hand under the table in a gesture of absent-minded comfort while he mentally went through every terrible thing that Tenten could bring up in her speech. He was the only one at the table who'd never heard one of Tenten's speeches, on account of his nomadic nature, but he'd heard enough stories to worry him.

"I think we're going to need more," said Sakura, looking over to Shochu. Though he was cleaning glasses, Sakura could see a smile on his face; Tenten's speeches always amused him. "Of everything."

"Right away," said Shochu, nodding.

Naruto and Hinata, who sat to Sasuke's left, had grown more publicly affectionate as the night went on and the drinks kept coming. But, the looming threat of Tenten's speech was enough for Naruto to let go of Hinata's hand, just in case he needed to react quickly if things went south. He still kept his arm around her shoulders, though, and Hinata kissed his cheek appreciatively.

Ino and Sai, on Sakura's right, had been the victims of Tenten's _worst_ speech. With every ounce self-control she had, Ino restrained herself from dragging Tenten out of the bar before the speech got ugly, fiercely determined to make sure Sakura had a good time tonight. Sai, who was doodling on a spare napkin and unsure of how else to prevent his wife from resorting to drastic measures, gave her a quick drawing of some flowers to distract her. To his relief, it worked for just a moment.

Choji, Karui, Temari, and Shikamaru circled around from Sai, all looking at one another apprehensively. Both couples' speeches hadn't been _as_ disastrous as Ino's and Sai's, but they were bad enough that even the thought of Tenten giving a speech filled them with dread.

Next to Hinata, Kiba looked positively gleeful. He took great delight in teasing Tenten about her speeches the day after, and given that someone only got married every once in awhile, his time had finally come again. Shino, who had the misfortune of sitting next to Tenten, looked like the second-hand embarrassment was killing him.

"As you know," continued Tenten. "Right now, our numbers are perfectly even. Five of the Konoha Eleven are married; five of us aren't. 'Course, the betrayal started when Choji—" She waved her glass vaguely at his direction at the end of the table, where he was sitting with an arm around his wife. "—made us give up our majority in the first place. One could even argue it started when Naruto and Hinata had to go off and marry each other, starting this whole downward spiral of matrimony."

"Why do you always do this to yourself, Tenten?" asked Temari, putting her head in her hands.

"This one has a point.I've already promised." Turning her attention back to Sakura, Tenten raised her glass once more and accidentally spilled half of her sake on Shino's lap, causing Hinata to erupt into a fit of drunken, nervous giggles. "Anyways, Sakura Haruno. When we first met, I didn't understand you at all. You cried more times during that Chūnin exam than I've cried in my entire life.

"And Sasuke, you did more brooding than—" Tenten took a pause that was awkwardly noticed but not acknowledged. She and Hinata exchanged a brief look. "Well, you did a whole lot of brooding. I remember just looking at the two of you and wondering how such dysfunctional people could ever be ninja."

Sasuke had consumed too many drinks to mask any divisions from psychological neutrality. Mouth open in a near perfect "o," Sasuke looked at Tenten in the same dumbfounded yet unwillingly captivated way that people stared at house fires. Sakura, on the opposite end of the spectrum, was nearly crying into Sasuke's shoulder from laughter, brought on by both her fiancé's expression and the disastrous speech. The rest of the party was, emotionally, somewhere between the two.

"This has a point?" asked Shikamaru, hoping at some point they would be put out of their misery.

" _Yes_ , it has a point," said Tenten, as if everyone was a fool for not already realizing this. "The point is, I wasn't really wrong about these first impressions. Sakura still cries publicly about twice a week and Sasuke's story speaks for itself." She looked at the remaining bits of sake in her glass thoughtfully. "But as far as weepy and angsty ninja go, you two are probably my favorites."

There was a brief period of stupefied silence that was quickly ended by Kiba. "To Weepy and Angsty," he said, raising his drink. "May they at least find solace in each other until the end of their days."

Lee, who always abstained from drinking, managed to coerce Tenten into sitting back down as the others—sans Karui—laughed and drank to Kiba's sentiment. Just as she had been doing all night, Karui smiled and brought her glass to her lips, but she never actually took a sip. Until this point, only Sakura had noticed this charade and had the wisdom to not comment on it. Sai, who had just noticed during the toast, did not have that wisdom.

"You usually drink more than this," he said to Karui tactlessly.

"I have a headache," said Karui, at the same time Choji said, "It's nothing."

Not even needing his wife's incredulous look to know he said the wrong thing, Choji tried to backtrack, "I mean, it's nothing, because it's just a headache—"

"Is she _pregnant_?" asked Ino, furiously standing up.

All conversation at the table abruptly ceased as everyone turned wide-eyed towards Choji and Karui. Shikamaru's face turned as pale as paper and Choji was pointedly avoiding everyone's gaze.

"Congratulations," slurred Hinata, inebriatedly oblivious to the sudden tenseness in the room.

"We were going to tell you eventually," said Choji.

" _Eventually_?" shrieked Ino. "What kind of time would that have given us?"

"Wait," said Temari, standing up too. "When you say time, you don't mean—"

"We're InoShikaCho!" said Ino. "Our families have always _been_ InoShikaCho. And now that they've—" She gestured angrily towards Choji and Karui. "— _Cho'd_ , what do you think has to happen?"

"Look," said Shikamaru, as he and Sai joined the crowd of panicked standing people. "Let's not make any rash decisions."

"It's tradition, Shikamaru," said Ino, looking like she was quite literally willing to fight him over it.

"Does it have to be firstborns?" asked Sai logically. "Couldn't Choji's and Karui's second kid be part of InoShikaCho?"

"I'm not having another kid," warned Karui.

" _Traditionally_ ," said Shikamaru, as if the words were physically painful for him to say. "InoShikaCho has to be firstborns, anyways."

"Are you actually considering this?" asked Temari, looking at her husband in outrage. "Don't I get a say in this at all?"

"I know that you're not from Konoha, Temari," said Ino. "But given that you married into a prominent Konoha clan, you could at least be respectful of our customs."

Temari's face darkened over. "Alright, listen here, you bitch—"

The argument dissolved into complete mayhem after that. All three members of InoShikaCho and their spouses started yelling at one another, so loudly and chaotically that it was hard to even make out what anyone was saying. Due to the panic of being forced to have children and the several drinks they had consumed throughout the night (except for Karui, who was running solely on pregnancy-fueled rage), all of them were saying hateful things they didn't quite mean.

The rest of the table, decidedly _not_ involved in their clan issues, just looked on awkwardly.

"I've run out of soap," said Shochu, inching around the yelling six. "I'll be right down the road if you need me."

Sakura gave him an apologetic nod.

"Are these things always this…intense?" whispered Sasuke.

"It runs about fifty-fifty," admitted Sakura.

"Look on the bright side," said Naruto. "You made it through Tenten's speech without things getting violent, so you're already doing better than Ino's and Sai's party."

"What happened at Ino's and Sai's party?" asked Sasuke.

Tenten opened her mouth to answer, but both Shino and Lee quickly covered it.

"You really don't want to know," said Kiba, uncharacteristically serious.

" _This exact same thing happened with our fathers_ ," said Ino, who was now standing on her chair. " _What the hell is with you Akimichi men and your inability to think ahead?"_

"Do you think they'll actually go along with it?" asked Lee.

"We should place bets," said Kiba.

"That's distasteful, Kiba," said Shino.

"You think everything I suggest is distasteful."

"That's because it usually _is_ distasteful."

" _Say what you want about Suna, but at least_ my _family isn't pressuring me to have a baby right this second."_

"Forget having kids," said Tenten. "We should place bets on whether or not they'll ever speak to each other again."

"They'll come around," said Sakura confidently. "Once they fight it out."

" _I still don't understand why it can't be the second child."_

" _I told you, dammit, I'm not having another kid."_

"To friends," said Kiba, raising his glass with a humored smile. "Even if they are all crazy."

"And to love," said Hinata, raising her own glass.

"And to Sasuke and Sakura," said Naruto. His proper speech would come tomorrow at the wedding reception, but he figured they needed at least one decent toast to their names tonight. "And a lifetime of happiness."

" _Shikamaru, what the hell would your father say?"_

" _That's low, Ino, bringing my father into this—"_

With laughs and smiles and a few eye rolls to the spectacle at the right end of the table, the eight of them drank to all of those things.

For the last time in a very long time, life was perfect.

* * *

Kakashi did not remember walking to Break My Back—not really. His instincts and reflexes were more than enough to sneak through the shadows of Konoha while his mind wandered off to other places.

The night was unusually pleasant, he'd noticed. A warm front had come in earlier in the week, replacing the usual chill of January wind with an agreeable, cozy breeze. As such, the town was busy and alive, filled with people taking advantage of the weather. Lights from shops twinkled like fireflies in a summer field, illuminating the skyline despite it being well after sunset.

Mixed with the conflicting feelings of appreciating the lovely view of the city and immense dread, Kakashi did not regain awareness of himself until he'd reached the bar and found himself face-to-face with an elderly man and several unseen, yelling voices. The man did a double take upon seeing him and nearly dropped his shopping bag.

"Goodness gracious, you're the Hokage," said the man.

"I am," said Kakashi, a bit awkwardly.

"I mean—" The man went wide-eyed as he realized what he'd said and began to bow. "—it's an honor to meet you, Hokage, sir. Forgive me; I lost my manors for a second. The name's Shochu."

"Are you the man that owns this bar?"

"Yes, sir. Oldest bartender in town. Can I get you anything to drink? I mean, I've got a full house at the moment, but—"

"No, it's alright," said Kakashi. "But, if you would, my three students—Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura—are inside your bar. Would you mind grabbing them for me?"

"It would be my pleasure, Hokage, sir."

Ducking around the building, Shochu disappeared through a back entrance. A few moments later, the front door opened and his three students walked single-file out of it.

" _I know it's hard for you not to be a massive bitch, Ino, but if you could let someone else get a word in—"_

Sasuke quickly shut the door behind them.

"Was that Temari?" asked Kakashi, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," said Sakura. "It's…um…a bit of a long story."

Sasuke snorted, sending Sakura into a fit of laughter. By the look of things, they were both a bit tipsy, and Kakashi hoped that fact wouldn't interfere with their mission too much. Naruto, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes at Kakashi.

"You're afraid." Because of the Nine-Tailed Fox inside of him, Naruto could sense negative emotions in other people. "What's wrong?"

This caused Sakura and Sasuke to stiffen. Though they did not have the same power, the tense look on Naruto's face told them everything they needed to know.

"I'm really sorry to have to do this." And he was. "But we have to go on a mission."

"Now?" asked Sakura, louder than she meant. Sasuke put a comforting hand on her shoulder, though he looked no less disturbed.

"What's _wrong_?" repeated Naruto.

"I sent a reconnaissance squad to the Valley of the End this morning," said Kakashi, holding out the mission report. "And they brought back this."

Sakura snatched the piece of paper out of his hands and read it like her life depended on it. Not wanting to wait until she was finished, her two teammates read over her shoulders. As they made their way through the report, all three of them began to look extremely exhausted.

"We'll all be back before morning," promised Kakashi, even though he wasn't sure he could keep it. But, he doubted a broken promise would even be significant if he made them miss the wedding. "We just have to make sure it's something that won't…escalate until your wedding is over."

"All four of us are going?" asked Sasuke. Kakashi nodded. "So, you think this has something to do with Kaguya."

"Could be," admitted Kakashi. "We can't take the chance if it is."

The four fell into an awful silence as all the fear and memories of the war six years ago came flooding back. Sakura in particular looked like she wanted to scream or argue or _something_ , but she couldn't find the energy to do any of those things. Instead, she just closed her eyes and leaned into Sasuke's side, who put an arm around her, unable to come up with words that would bring any of them comfort.

"He's right," said Naruto eventually. "But if we go now, we'll be back in plenty of time for the wedding."

"Okay." Sakura voice cracked and tears began to brim in her eyes, causing Kakashi to feel another stab of guilt. "I'll…I'll need to tell Ino and ask her if she can get everything ready in the morning."

"And I need to say goodnight to Hinata," said Naruto.

"We'll meet at the village gates in thirty minutes," said Kakashi. "Get everything you can ready before then."

* * *

To InoShikaCho's credit, they immediately stopped their arguing to come to Sakura's and Sasuke's aid. The girls, as if they hadn't just been throwing insults at one another, joined together to comfort Sakura and promise her that everything would be ready by the time she got back in the morning.

(Blame it On Things)

Kenshin Yamanaka had not been exaggerating. By the time they reached the edge of the valley, around two in the morning, all lingering feelings of intoxication and pre-wedding joy were replaced by crippling despair.

"What the hell _is_ that?" whispered Sakura.

Activating his Sharingan, Sasuke looked out over the Valley of the End. "There's something in the center. It looks like a…pink crystal."

"We're being tormented by an evil crystal?" asked Sakura incredulously.

"Anything else?" asked Kakashi.

Sasuke surveyed the area. "No. There's no genjutsu or people—just the crystal."

The four looked at each other uneasily.

"Well," said Naruto. "Let's go, then."

They made their way to the center of the Valley of the End as slowly and deliberately as soldiers marched to the front lines of battle. With every step they took towards the crystal, the evil feeling, thudding against their skulls, grew more agonizing. Every unpleasant thought and feeling they'd ever had was screaming in their minds.

Visibly shaking as they made their way forward, Sasuke was clearly the most affected. A permanent look of terror was plastered on his face, and he looked to be torn between running away and vomiting. Sakura was doing her best to be comforting, holding his hand and whispering words of love in his ear, but tears were freely falling down her face as feelings of loss and loneliness punched her in the chest. Kakashi was emotionally not far behind Sasuke, completely glazed over as terrible memories forced themselves upon him.

"C'mon," encouraged Naruto, who was by far the _least_ affected, though definitely not immune. "We're not too far."

Then, a wave of the chakra crashed over them at once, washing away all light from the world. Naruto and Sakura were able to fight through it, clinging onto thoughts of all the good things they could think of, but Kakashi and Sasuke were gone.

Suddenly unaware of where he was, Kakashi saw a massive crowd of people sprawling out in front of him. Rin was at the front, as young as she had been at her death, bleeding freely from the hole he'd put through her. Behind her, Minato and Kushina were as mutilated as they had been when the Third Hokage had found their bodies. The victims of the Fourth Shinobi World War expanded out from there, as bloody and haggard as the front three. And in the shadows, there was Obito, his haunted, red eyes shrouded by unrivaled hatred.

More and more faces joined the line, each one cursing Kakashi's name, all of them blaming him for the state that Kakashi had directly or indirectly put them in. The guilt and pain, built up over the span of several decades, exploded out from the place that Kakashi had locked away those feelings in his chest. Unable to bear the weight any longer, he fell to his knees and began to beg them for forgiveness.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was completely submerged in a world of war and death and pain. The Fourth Ninja World War raged around him and all the hatred in his heart that he had long given up rose again to the surface. Anger pounding in his head and the smell of battle around him, he drew his sword, ready to kill for his cause.

"Naruto!" said Sakura helplessly, jumping away from her fiancé. Sakura had no doubt in her mind that Sasuke, when in his right mind, would never hurt her. However, none of them were in their right mind. "Naruto, help!"

Naruto, who had been previously trying to help Kakashi, looked over at them just in time to see Sasuke draw his blade. His face darkening over, Naruto turned towards Sakura and said, "Take care of Kakashi."

As Naruto ran at Sasuke, Sakura forced herself to turn away from them. On the ground, Kakashi was still pleading with people that Sakura could not see.

"I'm sorry," said Kakashi, more emotional than she'd ever heard him. "God, I'm so sorry."

 _They all blamed him for their deaths and he deserved it. He had killed them all. He was responsible for Obito turning astray, for causing the Fourth Ninja World War to ever have a champion to fight it. All of the hatred burning through them, rippling through the Valley as they cried out in pain, was destroying him, but he was so, so sorry..._

"Kakashi," she said, shaking his shoulders to try and snap him out of it. However, he did not seem to notice her, his eyes still focused ahead. Unsure of what else to do, she pulled him into a hug. "Kakashi, please, they aren't real. There's no one there."

Beside them, Naruto pinned Sasuke to the ground, causing the Uchiha to yell out all sorts of awful curses. At the very least, the evil presence had made him a worse fighter than usual.

 _The person tackling Sasuke into the ground shifted form many times. First it was Obito Uchiha, the monster behind the mask, the man who had helped to kill his whole clan. Then it was Danzō, the manipulating bastard who had ordered the massacre in the first place. Finally, it was Madara, his eyes filled with all the madness of the Curse of Hatred...but, wait...no...it wasn't Madara. It was him. Sasuke was staring at his own reflection, the final reincarnation of an insane, bitter brother..._

"You killed them," said Sasuke, with all the hatred he had in him. "You killed all of them."

"Sasuke, what are you talking about?" yelled Naruto. "It's me, Naruto. I'm your _friend_."

"It's my fault," muttered Kakashi. "There's blood everywhere and it's all my fault."

"There isn't _any_ blood. There's nothing there." said Sakura, her tears falling softly in his hair as she held him tighter. Again, nothing went through to him. "Kakashi, I know you're in there, dammit. You have to remember the good things. Remember…" She didn't know if he considered it a good memory, but in the stress of the moment, it was the only thing she could think of. "Remember when you gave us that first bell test?"

"Bell test," he repeated, a glimmer of recognition in his eyes.

"Yes, the bell test," she said, nearly laughing in relief. "Back when we were little and stupid and you couldn't stand any of us. Remember, I fainted after you used a genjutsu on me and you had to tie Naruto to a post—"

"—because he tried to steal the lunches," finished Kakashi. A look of realization passed over his face and Sakura released him, knowing her Kakashi had returned. Then, his face changed to embarrassed regret. "I—"

"Don't worry. We'll never speak of this again," she said. She looked over at Naruto and Sasuke, who were still grappling in the dirt, the latter yelling hate-filled nonsense. "Naruto, make him remember! He has to remember something good!"

Dodging a punch to the face, Naruto used his Nine-Tails chakra to pin his best friend to the ground. "Remember when we were here last, Sasuke? You were trying to kill me, but, um, don't remember that part. Remember that, after years of fighting, we finally became friends again. You took my hand and we released the Infinite Tsukuyomi and we agreed not to fight again, so snap out of this, idiot!"

"Don't call me an idiot, idiot." Sasuke face was scrunched in pain and he was still fighting to gain control over the evil presence, but Naruto was relieved to see that his friend was still in there somewhere. "It's still there, I can't—"

"Remember having drinks at Break My Back?" asked Sakura, approaching them slowly. "And Tenten's speech? It was awful, but everyone toasted anyway and you were holding my hand and—" Carefully, she bent down and caressed his cheek. "—Sasuke, remember that I love you."

Finally, Sasuke relaxed. "Always, Sakura."

Relieved beyond words, Sakura sat down on the ground beside him and Naruto followed suit. For a few moments, none of them moved, all attempting to recover from the incident.

Though still shaken by his crystal-induced hallucination, Kakashi broke the uneasy silence. "We need to keep going."

"Remember the good things," said Naruto, looking to the crystal up ahead, only about fifty meters away. "We can do this."

"Hell, yeah," said Sakura, with a half-hearted smile.

Picking themselves back up and latching on to every happy memory they could, Team Seven put one foot in front of the other until they were nearly arm's length to the crystal. The crystal itself was about the size of Kakashi in height and width and the color of Sakura's hair. If it hadn't been radiating an evil, mind-controlling chakra, they might have considered it pretty.

"So," said Sasuke. "What now?"

"We could destroy it," offered Naruto.

"That might release whatever is inside of it," said Kakashi. "I could try and seal it somehow, but I don't know a seal that would work."

" _Does_ this have something to do with Kaguya?" asked Sakura.

The men of Team Seven exchanged a look that confirmed that none of them had any idea. Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, another wave of chakra came. Although the did their best to hold on to cherished memories to keep themselves sane, Sasuke and Kakashi started to slip again. Letting out a sudden yell, Kakashi readied a Chidori in his hands and attempted to slam it into the crystal.

However, the Chidori never made contact. The crystal sucked up the chakra from Kakashi's Chidori like a vacuum and pulled Kakashi's hand onto the surface of the crystal. The evil feeling, previously suffocating them like steam in a bath house, disappeared entirely. For several, tense seconds, no one even dared to breathe, worried that Kakashi would suddenly collapse or be whisked away into the crystal. Finally, Kakashi slowly moved his arm.

"I'm stuck," said Kakashi.

"You're what?" asked Sakura.

"I said," said Kakashi, gritting his teeth as he unsuccessfully tried to pry his hand from the crystal. "I'm _stuck_."

"Here, I'll just—" Naruto grabbed Kakashi's arm and attempted to yank him away from the crystal, but Kakashi still didn't budge. Sighing, Naruto tried to let go of him but found that he couldn't. "…now I'm stuck."

"To Kakashi?" asked Sakura incredulously.

"To Kakashi."

"Great," said Kakashi.

With a low, humming noise, the crystal started to glow a vibrant pink and Kakashi and Naruto let out a yelp of pain.

"What now?" asked Sakura, looking at the pair in panic.

"It's absorbing our chakra," said Kakashi. " _Quickly_."

"What do we do?" asked Sasuke to Kakashi.

"I'm thinking, I'm think—"

Before Kakashi could finish his sentence, he swooned, unable to hold himself up under the chakra draining. Sakura released the seal on her forehead, placed one of her hands on Kakashi's arm, steadied herself on the crystal with her other hand, and transferred some of her chakra into Kakashi.

"Sakura!" said Sasuke sharply.

"I had to do something!" said Sakura. "He'll die of chakra exhaustion before we can do anything to stop this. He doesn't have Naruto's chakra reserves."

"Neither do you," said Sasuke, as Kakashi's eyes blinked back open and he managed to steady himself.

As the crystal grew brighter, the intensity of the pain began to increase, and it was Sakura's turn to let out a terrible cry. Sasuke's face paled and he instinctively reached out to touch her—to comfort her—but he pulled his hand away at the last second.

"Naruto," said Sasuke, though he never tore his eyes away from Sakura, who was blinking tears out of her own eyes. "We need to seal it."

"We can't," said Naruto. "We're all stuck to this thing. The Six Paths — Chibaku Tensei will trap _us_ inside too."

"We have to try," said Sasuke. "Maybe I'll be able to summon us outside of the satellite with my Rinnegan."

"Okay," said Naruto, knowing he had no other choice. He looked over at Sakura and Kakashi, who were struggling to maintain consciousness. "On the count of three. One...two...three—"

Naruto's free palm made contact with the crystal at the same time as Sasuke's, and they released their chakra for the fūinjutsu. The gravity around them began to swiftly shift, pivoting from the center of the earth to the pillar of the crystal, and the shards of the Valley started to encase them in a giant, rocky sphere. As the ball began to slowly rise above the earth, taking the crystal and Team Seven with it, the four of them were all struck by the horrible realization that they were not going to make it out of this.

"This is an awful way to die," said Sakura, not even bothering to blink away the tears anymore.

"We're not going to die." Naruto's voice cracked as he said this. "We can't. Not now. Summon us out of here, Sasuke."

"I can't," whispered Sasuke, closing his eyes. "It's not working. I'm stuck."

"We have to do _something_."

But, there was nothing left to do, They were rising into the sky without any signs of stopping and Naruto, with his expansive wealth of chakra, was the only one bound to be alive in the next few minutes.

"I'm sorry," said Kakashi, and once again, a guilt the size of the world was upon him. "If I hadn't of touched it—"

"If you didn't, I would have," said Sasuke. "You just got there first."

"I suppose it was always meant to be the four of us," said Sakura, trying to smile. "Even now, at the very end."

In the silence of the moment, Naruto thought of Hinata. He thought about her radiating grace on the battlefield and how beautiful she looked in candlelight; he thought about the way she kissed him goodbye in the mornings and the fact that she dipped everything in red bean soup; he thought about her smile, which could light up his whole world in an instance, and the family they were thinking about starting soon. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself a moment to imagine their future that would never be. He saw them hand-in-hand, older than they were now but no less in love, watching their children as they ran around and chased one another playfully. In that moment, he missed her with all the strength he had left, and he would have given anything to be by her side and not leave her alone in this world.

Kakashi's imagined future was not too different from Naruto's, though in the older man's, Sakura and Sasuke were there as well, looking after a couple children of their own. In that moment, he would have given anything to give his three students that future—the one they deserved. As his strength began to fade, though, his thoughts began to drift towards the afterlife and the people he might find there. He thought of Obito, Rin, Minato, and Kushina, not angry as he had seen them earlier, but at peace in the solace of the Pure Land. He thought about how indescribably nice it would be to finally see them again.

As the darkness closed in, Sakura and Sasuke just leaned on one another and enjoyed their final moments together. They thought of how short their relationship had been, in the grand scheme of things, and what they would give in that moment to let it last just a little longer. Sakura thought of their friends and the devastating news that would come their way tomorrow—the tragic halt of the wedding that would never be…

"Kakashi," said Sakura suddenly. "Marry Sasuke and I."

"What?" asked Kakashi, who had been deep in his own thoughts.

"You're Hokage," said Sakura. "You're legally allowed."

The light was completely vanquished as the final pieces of earth attached themselves onto their floating prison. It was hardly the place for a wedding, but given it was the last place they were likely to ever see, it would have to do. "Marry us," agreed Sasuke.

"I'll be witness," said Naruto's voice, and they could almost hear him grinning despite it all.

"We need to hurry," said Sakura.

"Sasuke," said Kakashi, who was desperately trying to remember the words of the wedding vows in the exhaustion of the moment. "Do you take Sakura and agree to become her partner? Will you in peace and in sickness, comfort, love, respect and help her? Will you promise all of this until death parts you from this world?"

"I promise," said Sasuke. Though he could not grab her hand as he would have liked, as his hand and hers were stuck to other places, he was able to gently place his forehead on hers.

"Sakura," said Kakashi, "Do you take Sasuke and agree to become his partner? Will you in peace and in sickness, comfort, love, respect, and help him? Will you promise all of this until death parts you from this world?"

Sakura smiled one last time. "I—"

(About Twenty-Four Years Earlier)

Kakashi awoke like the onset of an afternoon drizzle—very slowly, at first, and without much progress. His slumber was so immense that, for the first couple of minutes, he wasn't even aware that he was awake at all. Eyes too heavy to open, he simply _was_ , completely unaware of the concept of his existence. Kakashi had several, notable things to worry about at the present time, but for those first, waking minutes, there was nothing but the progression out of the deepest sleep he'd ever had.

Too soon, though (but really, given the circumstances, not soon enough), he registered that he _was_ awake and, more startlingly, that he'd never actually fallen asleep. Memories of Team Seven and the crystal rushing back to him, he sat up violently, giving himself a terrible head rush.

Trying to blink away the blurriness from his eyes, he attempted to piece together what had happened. The last thing he remembered was touching the crystal and the ensuing pain. The other three members of Team Seven had touched it as well, he knew, and he remembered numbly dishing out wedding vows inside of a giant, floating ball of earth. Where, though, were they now? Surely they must have died, but this did not feel like death (and he had more experience than most with that subject). Had they managed to make it out alive somehow? He didn't sense any chakras in the immediate area—Team Seven or otherwise—so he clamored to his feet.

To his horror, the sunlit bedroom was strikingly familiar.

It's most recognizable trait was its conspicuous emptiness. The floors were completely absent of clutter and the only piece of furniture in the room, save for the futon on which he had slept, was a desk in the corner. Several pictures of his old team, Team Minato, lined the back of the desk, but they lacked the wear and age his current copies adorned. More troubling, though, was the sword and sheath situated just in front of the photographs.

Carefully, Kakashi unsheathed the sword and gave it an experimental slash through the air. His father's sword, for that is what the weapon was, was as whole as the day it had been forged, despite having broken two and half decades ago. It had been a long time since he had held the sword in his hands, but the weight of the blade and the feel of the hilt were unmistakable. This was definitely the White Light Chakra Sabre and he was definitely back at his childhood apartment.

 _This has to be a genjutsu_ , he thought, but unless it was as powerful as the Infinite Tsukuyomi, he knew it couldn't be. Kakashi was skilled enough to dispel all "human" genjutsu. Not to mention, Sasuke _could_ resist the Infinite Tsukuyomi, so the genjutsu theory was unlikely all around.

The perfect replica of his old bedroom unnerved him, but he still couldn't sense anyone in the nearby area, so he decided to explore a little more. As he wandered into the bathroom and looked into the mirror, his unease plummeted into full blown panic. His reflection still belonged to him, certainly, but a _different_ him—the one who had owned this apartment. Judging from the baby fat in his cheeks (evident even with the mask) and the lack of scarring around his left eye, he couldn't have be any older than thirteen. He hadn't just returned to his old apartment; he had _gone back in time_.

"No way," he whispered, running a small hand through his now-shorter, snowy hair.

Logically, there was no way he could have actually gone back in time, because time travel didn't exist outside of wild theories and books of fiction. This had to be some outlandish, fever dream or miraculous genjutsu. He knew in his heart that this wasn't death—that he had managed to stay on the plane of the living for longer than anticipated—but time travel was out of the question.

Still, he had experience several things in the past couple of years that he hadn't previously thought possible either. He'd come back from the dead and battled a god and won. Was time travel really such a stretch?

 _Yes_ , he thought. _This has to be a genjutsu_.

Growing desperate, Kakashi grabbed a kunai off of the counter and plunged it into his hand. However, the scene around him didn't change. The only difference was the sudden onset of pain and blood.

"That was stupid," mumbled Kakashi.

He took a deep breath to calm himself and to snap out of…whatever this was. Whatever else the crystal had done, he felt as if he'd been asleep for several days. Something was fogging over his mind, preventing him from thinking clearly.

After quickly wrapping his hand in toilet paper, he made his way into the kitchen. True to his old apartment, there was a pristinely-kept first aid kit underneath the sink, tucked behind the piping. He made a makeshift tourniquet and began to stitch his hand, just as another thought popped into his mind.

He didn't have the Sharingan. If he really was in the past, then the Kannabi Bridge mission hadn't happened yet, which meant—

Obito was still alive.

And not only Obito, but Rin, Minato, Kushina, and all the others he had lost over the years. He temporarily abandoned his stitching to glance at the calendar and found that today was the day he was supposed to go on the Kannabi Bridge mission.

A dozen new thoughts sprang from the grave of the last, but he pushed them all down. Fate was decidedly _not_ that kind and he needed to get out of there. He threw on his mission gear and left the apartment as fast as he could.

As he walked through the streets of the city, trying to come up with a plan, Kakashi felt like he was stuck in a dream. Everything looked the same as it did before Pain destroyed Konoha, which was both familiar and chillingly foreign. He had grown up on these streets, but this was not his Konoha. His Konoha had seen a whole other war, had been turned into dust and rebuilt from the ashes. In _his_ Konoha, he was a powerful Hokage who'd helped defeat one of the greatest evils the world had ever seen.

In this Konoha, he was a wandering, distressed teenager, stuck seeing ghosts every time he turned the corner—those who had not survived to see _his_ Konoha. He had to escape this. Before this madness escalated any further, he needed to go to the Valley of the End.

(Make Believe)

The spontaneous trip all the way to the Valley of the End was, as it turned out, a complete bust. The valley always radiated a certain… _energy_ , but beyond the mystical aura of the historical events that had already transpired there and the perhaps prophetic knowledge of what was to come, everything was normal. It was completely intact, unlike in the present ( _or future_ , he supposed) time and completely devoid of any malicious chakras, crystals, or signs of Team Seven.

There were many times in his life that Kakashi had felt unprepared. All of those paled in comparison to now.

So, he decided to kneel down on the grass and talk to Rin as if he was at her grave. It was the only thing he could think of to do.

"Hello, Rin," said Kakashi. He surprisingly didn't feel too awkward talking to an empty field like this. Sure, there was no grave marker, but a slab of stone and a casket didn't mean that Rin was listening any more than she was now. Grave Rin, the one he had spilled his heart to so many times before, had always been a fabrication in his mind, one he carried over to now. "I think I might have time traveled."

The admission did not make him feel any better. Rather, for the first time, it made the whole scenario feel real. He was in the past. He was _stuck_ in the past. Everything he had worked for had vanished with one touch to a mysterious, pink crystal.

Another frightening trail of thought wedged into his mind. What if there had never been a future at all? What if the whole thing was just a dream—all twenty-four years just a figment of his unconscious imagination? Maybe a prescient warning, maybe just a delusion…

But no, that made even less sense than time travel. No one's dreams were that detailed or complex. Dreams were vague at their best and absurdly abstract at their worst; he had detailed memories of an entire two-and-a-half decades. Besides, he would find out soon enough anyways. At some point (he was already going to be late), if he truly was stuck in this timeline, he _would_ need to meet Minato, Rin, and Obito at their rendezvous point for their mission. The thought of seeing them again—his old team alive and whole—made his heart ache.

Yet another idea entered into his mind, more terrifying and exhilarating than all the rest. What if he had been given a chance to change everything? After all, this was the day that started the progression to the Fourth Ninja World War and his own personal downward spiral. He could save Obito. Even further than that, he could save Rin, Minato, Kushina, and so many others who were taken far too soon. He could stop the Akatsuki from turning evil, expose Danzō and Orochimaru, and maybe even stop Black Zetsu before the Kaguya crisis even occurred.

The entire world was at his fingertips.

But fate was _not_ that kind.

"Changing everyone would be dangerous," he mused aloud. "Even though a lot of people died, we still won the Fourth Ninja World War. If I changed anything, we could lose."

 _But you could win_ , said the dangerous, little voice in the back of his mind. _And save thousands of people._

"That's a huge risk." He was glad that the Valley of the End had a tendency to be void of visitors. If someone had heard him arguing with himself, they might have thought that he'd lost his mind. Hell, maybe he had. "What if I erase Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura from existence?"

What had even become of his three protégés? None of the three had been born yet, and according to his calculations, only Sakura's mother was even pregnant. Had they simply dissolved in the stream of time, without a body to return to? Had Sakura's adult mind landed into the unfortunate state of a fetus? Had they all been sent to another universe entirely?

Those questions didn't help either.

 _They might travel back at a later point_ , said the voice. _You might not have to do this alone forever. Besides, Sakura's mother_ _is already pregnant. You can't erase her from existence. And Naruto's and Sasuke's births are destined. You can save everyone._

He thought about his students: Naruto, who was good and saw the good in everyone, the man he was eventually going to trust with the Hokage position; Sakura, strong and caring Sakura, who just wanted to save people and be loved; And Sasuke, who had finally come around, the prodigal student who had finally returned, just as fiercely determined as he'd ever been. They were all stubborn and had their faults, but he was so proud of the three of them, and the loss of them made his heart ache in a way he didn't know it could. He had lost people before—he had lost a _lot_ of people—but losing the three of them felt like losing a child.

 _They might come back. You can save everyone_.

"Fate is not that kind," he murmured. "This is too perfect, going back to the date of the Kannabi Bridge Mission."

The day everything went so wrong.

 _You can't do things exactly the same as last time, anyways,_ said the voice. _You're a different person than you were then. You'll do something different, because you won't remember how you did it the first time, and you'll change something without even meaning to. You might as well change things willingly._

 _After all, are you really going to watch Obito slip away again? Kill Rin with your own hands? Watch Minato and Kushina be maimed by the Nine-Tailed Fox?_

But what would become of _his_ Konoha? Had sending Kakashi back in time erased it from existence? Or was it still carrying on in another universe, suddenly lacking a Hokage and three of its most powerful assets?

Tsunade was going to kill him, though he was pretty sure he was never going to see _that_ Tsunade again.

All of the worrying started to flood him, tightening his chest in a way that made him feel like he was suffocating. He had so many questions, but not a single answer.

 _You can't go back. The crystal is gone. No matter what has happened to Team Seven or Konoha, you are stuck here._

The whole scenario felt too contrived. Even with the ridiculousness that came along with time travel, what was the likelihood that he'd get sent back to this date?

If this did have something to do with Kaguya, which he had very little doubt of at this point, what if this was her plan? If she sent Kakashi back to the day he regretted most, what if she was banking on him changing things, giving her another chance to win?

But then again, what choice did he have?

"I have to change things," he said. "Rin, I think I'm meant to save Team Minato. Maybe I'm meant to save everyone. If I stop the Fourth Ninja World War before it even starts, I could cut down the body count by _thousands_."

At some point, he would need Team Seven. Naruto's and Sasuke's fates were undoubtably intertwined with Kaguya, so to stop that, he had no doubt that those two would be needed. Worse comes to worst, if they never came back, he could always train Team Seven again from scratch.

Still, he was hoping it wouldn't come to that. He wasn't sure he had the heart to go through that fiasco again.

Was it best to keep the time traveling secret to himself? Or was it best to key in Minato, so that they could work on changes together?

"No," said Kakashi, answering himself. "The more people know, the better chance of something changing outside of my control. Besides, I should wait for Team Seven—" For his own sake, he was holding on to the notion that Team Seven _would_ come back at some point. "—and we can tell whoever needs to know together."

For now, Orochimaru, Danzō, the Akatsuki, Zetsu, and all the other plagues of the world would have to wait. At the moment, only one mission mattered: saving Obito. The trip to the Valley of the End had already made him wildly late to the rendezvous. Hopefully, Team Minato hadn't left without him.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," said Kakashi. If Tsunade knew what he was about to do, she'd probably find some way to revoke his title of Hokage due to poor judgment and stupidity. "But Rin, I'm going to fix this."

(On Seeing Ghosts)

When he reached their designated meeting spot, a good two and half hours late, he was relieved to see that the other three members of Team Minato were still there. The sight of his former team was doing a number on his emotions, so for the sake of keeping it together, he decided to not go out just yet. Instead, he settled for watching them from afar.

Obito sat on the grass, free of the Curse of Hatred that would soon grip him. He was fiddling with his goggles, like he always did when he had to wait for long periods of time, and it reminded Kakashi strongly of Naruto. In his former team's comparison to Team Seven, he always fancied himself the Sasuke to Obito's Naruto. But, in the long run, it had turned out just the opposite.

Kind as he remembered her, Rin's smile shone across the clearing. She was laughing at something either Obito or Minato had said, but there was an undertone of worry in her eyes, no doubt wondering where her third teammate had wandered off to. Kakashi loved her, but not in the way that she loved him—that right belonged to Obito. Besides, Kakashi was a decidedly different person than he was the first time around. He was not the Kakashi she loved. Hopefully, that would be enough for her romantic love for him to dissipate.

And then there was Minato. Never before had Kakashi appreciated how little the Hokage monument did his sensei justice. The stone face immortalized on the cliff face in Konoha did hold his strength and unquestionable sense of strong leadership. However, the pride and liveliness in him, apparent even as he stood casually by his students, was something beyond what the stone could capture. Minato looked exactly like a Hokage should, and briefly, Kakashi wondered if the citizens in _his_ Konoha saw similar qualities in him.

They were all so untouched by the tragedies that would soon befall them that it made Kakashi's chest ache again. In a couple months, Rin would die. In a year, Minato would join her. In a day or so, Obito would fall to something much worse than death.

Their innocence made him all the more determined to save them. Taking a deep breath, because his heart was racing and _here they were, alive,_ Kakashi made his way across the field.

"Kakashi!" said Rin, jumping up off the grass. "Where have you been? Are you okay?"

"Sorry," he said, without really sounding like he meant it. He was completely wrapped up in the exhilaration of _they were alive, they were alive_. "I lost track of time. Are we ready?"

"How did you lose track of time?" asked Obito incredulously. "You're never late to _anything_."

"Being late isn't so bad." Thirteen-year-old Kakashi would never have said his, but as weird as it would be for them, he had to get them used to thirty-seven-year-old Kakashi. "After all, predictability isn't a good trait in a ninja."

"What happened to the rules and regulations?" asked Obito.

"I'm a Jōnin now," said Kakashi. "I'm supposed to rely on experience more than rules."

"So you're just…over the rules?" asked Rin.

"The rules provide a good groundwork for being a ninja." Kakashi's three students had personally broken every ninja rule ever created. A good number of those instances had been bad, particularly when they pertained to Sasuke, but a good number had been for the better. "But life, missions included, is much too complicated to outline in a set of rules."

For a moment, none of his teammates spoke as they looked at each other apprehensively. Rin put her hand to his forehead, checking for a fever, but when she found his skin cool, she looked at the other two and shook her head. Finally, Minato broke the silence.

"Kakashi," he said. "Are you...okay?"

"Fantastic." It was the most honest thing he'd said all day. Talking to them was like a dream.

"Right." Minato continued to look at him for a long moment, as if trying to decide whether or not he was truly in his right mind. "Just try to be on time from now on. We _are_ in the middle of a war."

"My apologies, Sensei."

"Well, I intended to do this two hours," said Minato, shooting another look at Kakashi. "But like he said, Kakashi has become a Jōnin, just like me. To make the mission more efficient, myself and his team will be split, since the military power of Konoha has hit an all-time low."

"Split?" asked Obito, furrowing his eyebrows. "Then—"

"Yeah, that's right. Kakashi will become the commander of your three-man team and I'll be on my own."

"I told you about it before, Obito," said Rin, frowning at the boy. "To give Kakashi a present."

"Sorry," said Obito, perhaps looking a little less our than he did last time. "I wasn't listening."

"I'll give you this," said Minato, pulling the familiar Flying Thunder God Kunai out of his pocket and dangling it off his pointer finger. "It's a special kunai. It's a little heavy because of its odd shape, but when you get used to it, it's easy to use. Take it with you on today's mission."

That, at least, put the "it was all a dream" theory to rest. There was no way his subconscious mind could have predicted that Minato was going to give him a funny-shaped kunai.

"Thanks," he said, as Minato handed it to him, fulling planning on utilizing the tool this time if need be.

"This is from me," said Rin, grinning as she held out a small box. "Here! It's a personalized medical bag. You've improved so much that it should be easy to use!"

"Thank you." He smiled back at her as he took the box from her hands. "I'll put it to good use."

Kakashi turned to Obito, who was looking at him with a mix of defiance and attempted apathy.

"I know you didn't get me anything," said Kakashi. "So for my Jōnin present, just be careful today. We have to watch each other's backs."

"Seriously," said Obito, looking at him like Kakashi had just announced that he was planning on living the rest of his life as a turnip. "What is your problem?"

"I'm sorry," said Kakashi sarcastically. "Would you rather I wish ill on your wellbeing?"

"It's _weird_."

"Well, if something happens to you today, you won't be able to buy me an _actual_ Jōnin present." _Also, I'll regret it for the rest of my life and you'll turn very, very evil._ "And 'teammate death' on the file might hurt Rin's chances of being promoted." Minato gave him a faux-stern look. "And, of course, Minato-sensei would miss you."

Rin giggled and even Obito cracked a bit of a smile, much to Kakashi's pleasure.

"Okay, we need to get started," said Minato, pulling out a map. "We're at the country border, which is this line. Currently, the Earth Country is invading the Grass Village. That's this line." He pointed a little further up the map. "Of course, the enemy are Rock ninja. We have intel that suggests that there's already about a thousand ninja at the enemy's front line.

"Our current mission is here." Minato pointed at the bridge. "We'd need a lot of ninja to hit the enemy's front line. Because of that, a few selected ninja must go and sabotage them."

"So we need to get to the bridge," said Kakashi, having completed this mission before. "And destroy it."

"Yes. Team Kakashi…your mission is to sneak behind the enemy and destroy the bridge that they need to receive supplies. Then, withdraw quickly."

"Okay," said the three in unison.

"What about you?" asked Obito.

"I will engage the frontline directly to divert them away from you." Minato put his hand in the middle of the four. "This is Kakashi's first time as commander. We'll go to the border, and from then on, the mission begins."

The other three placed their hands on top of their sensei's. "Okay!"

(The Bridge)

The mission up until the bridge was embarrassingly easy. He knew he ought to not be so hard on himself for messing it up last time, as he had more than two decades' worth of experience this go around, but most of his mistakes seemed glaringly obvious. Though his strength, stamina, and chakra supply weren't as good as they were in his previous lifetime (he'd have to train those back up), his jutsu knowledge, chakra control, battle sense, and leadership skills more than made up for the difficulties last time.

So instead of acting like a jackass, he let Minato take the lead in taking out the rock ninja. Consequently, the enemy ninja was killed with relative ease and no one in their party was injured. When Minato finally split off, Kakashi made it clear to Rin and Obito (who were still uneasy about his sudden change in personality, but did not push the issue further, as they just wanted to get through this mission alive) that they were to watch each other's backs no matter what the circumstance. Rin was not taken hostage, Obito was saved from "death," and they were able to set up camp in peace.

Despite this, there was a lingering awkwardness among the three. He expected that from them, given his sudden personality change. He also knew that he'd most likely feel the same way, given that he was almost forty and his friends were barely teenagers. There was another layer to it, though—something holding him back that he couldn't quite explain. Looking at them felt like looking at a movie screen. He could see their faces and hear their voices, but he shouldn't have been able to reach them. Breaking through that fourth wall felt like interrupting something that was never meant to happen in the first place.

Still, not a moment went by when Kakashi wasn't afraid it was all a dream. He couldn't return to _his_ Konoha, that much he knew, but what frightened him more was the notion that he might not want to. More than words could describe, he missed Team Seven. However, Team Seven had the opportunity to join him here, while Team Minato was forever gone from his original life.

However, those were worries best tucked away for later. A lot had happened today, both physically and emotionally, so he would need to wait for a clearer head and a bit of time to sort through the majority of his thoughts. Kakashi instead focused his efforts on the bridge, knowing that taking it down would be a much more difficult task than the act of getting to it. If he didn't think things through perfectly, the mission would go south fast.

"We need to discuss our strategy," said Kakashi, that night. "Destroying the bridge is crucial for Konoha. If we fail, Konoha could lose the war. Because of that, you both need to do exactly as I say."

"We've got your back," said Rin, before lightly elbowing Obito.

"Right." Although Obito still looked irked about being ordered around by Kakashi, he seemed to be warming up a little. "You're the boss."

"We won't be able to just approach the bridge," said Kakashi. "As there will be too many ninja. The bridge will also have a warding jutsu, so if we place an exploding tag, they'll immediately know of our presence."

"So…how are we going to destroy it?" asked Obito.

"I'm going to sneak underneath it and break through the center of the bridge using a jutsu." The Lightning Cutter wasn't safe enough to use as an assassination jutsu without a Sharingan, but for a target as stationary and large as a bridge, it was fine. "It won't completely demolish the bridge, but it will get the process started. While I'm distracting the ninja on top, Obito, you'll place exploding tags on the eastern end of the bridge, ignite them, and get out of the way immediately. I'll then destroy the western end of the bridge—"

"Why not destroy the western end the first time?" asked Obito. "Instead of destroying the center?"

"If I destroy the western end," said Kakashi. "They'll know that someone is going to destroy the eastern end. They'll surround me and take you out before you can even do anything. But, if I destroy the center of the bridge, I can distract the ninja on both sides and cause enough chaos to give you a chance to place exploding tags undetected."

"What will I do?" asked Rin.

"You'll be on standby, a good distance away from the bridge, just in case either of us gets hurt. But, more importantly, you will be in charge of guarding a log."

"A log?" asked Rin, confused. "What does a log have to do with anything?"

The log was, in fact, the riskiest part of the whole plan. Using the Lightning Cutter twice in rapid succession would be taxing enough on his thirteen-year-old body. After destroying the bridge, he and Obito would need to escape quickly and quietly. So, he planned on pulling a Minato and using the Flying Thunder God Technique, with the log containing the seal. Granted, he had never actually _attempted_ the technique, but Kakashi had become quite adept at fūinjutsu over the years and he saw Minato's teleportation performed several times with his Sharingan. It didn't need to be executed with any of the skill and grace Minato possessed; it just needed to get them out of there.

"The log has to do with everything," said Kakashi, though he didn't dare elaborate. His teammates would think he was insane and start to doubt the plan, which he couldn't afford. "Can I trust you with the log?"

"Yes," said Rin hesitantly. "Isn't this a bit risky? You taking on all of those ninja by yourself?"

"I'll be fine," said Kakashi. "We only have to stay for as long as it takes for Obito to destroy his end of the bridge."

Honestly, he didn't want Obito and Rin near the fight at all. He'd seen Obito die once on this mission and the thought of losing them both again was nearly unbearable. He didn't want the catastrophe he'd prevented to go to waste.

However, he knew he couldn't protect them forever. They were ninja—soldiers who had volunteered to lay down their life for their village. They knew what they were getting into when they accepted their rank and headband.

Still, they seemed so damn _young_.

"Obito, as soon as you've lit the exploding tags, race to the western end of the bridge and grab onto me. Any questions?" They shook their heads. "Then tomorrow, we take down the Kannabi Bridge."

* * *

As Kakashi waded through the water under the bridge, careful to avoid detection by the multiple rock ninja above him, he had to admit that he was a little nervous. Everything he had worked for in the past twenty-four hours came down to this moment. If they didn't destroy the bridge, all three of them could die and Konoha could very well lose the war. He didn't even want to think about all the changes that would come from that.

Once he was strategically under the bridge, he looked out into the forest, first at Obito's location near the bridge and then Rin's location further down the river, to verify that they were still in position. Satisfied, he readied his hands, jumped upwards, and slammed through the top of the bridge, his Chidori leading the way.

As Kakashi steadied himself on a piece of the bridge that wasn't currently falling, there was a tense, brief moment where all of the enemy ninja were frozen, stunned by the image of a thirteen-year-old spontaneously ripping through the surface of the bridge. Kakashi used the opportunity to erect a Water Wall around himself, using the water from the river. A few of the rock ninja were pushed back from the force of it and all hell broke loose.

Due to his lower chakra levels, particularly after his teenage body's first proper use of the Lightning Cutter, the wall wasn't as strong as he would have liked. Only a few seconds into the chaos, a rock the size of his head was launched through the barrier and nearly collided with his shoulder. From the sound of the voices outside of the barrier, the number of ninja surrounding him had quickly risen to forty, and his barrier definitely wouldn't withstand that amount of force.

Using some of the water from his barrier, he created a Water Shark Bomb Jutsu and circled it blindly around the wall. He couldn't see the damage, exactly, but he heard a significant amount of yelling, so that had to mean something. A few, brave ninja managed to enter the barrier in the chaos of the giant, water shark, but Kakashi had been prepared for that too. Using his free hand, he unsheathed the White Light Chakra Sabre and began to funnel lightning chakra down its blade.

"Who wants to go first?" asked Kakashi, with feigned innocence.

As expected, all four ninja went at him at once, but Kakashi was better. Almost immediately, he was able to stab clean through one of the shinobi and use his body as a shield against the other three's attacks. He shoved the body of the ninja (who had died rather quickly from the injuries inflicted by both Kakashi and his own comrades) into the others to distract them, before sending a water shark into them as well, forcing them back outside the circle.

Clearly, the Rock ninja had been prepared for a large squad, not a one-man army.

Then, like music to his ears, he heard an explosion from the eastern side of the bridge. Quickly making sure no one was directly in front him, he used the last of his water barrier to send out water clones in all directions as a decoy, while he dove to the opposite end of the bridge and plunged through it with another Chidori.

He tumbled into the water below and a falling piece of bridge hit his left shoulder and broke it. Gritting his teeth in pain, he looked around for Obito amidst the dozens of falling rock ninja. Between the exploding tags on one end and the Lightning Cutter on the other, the bridge was quickly collapsing.

Finally, he saw Obito sprinting towards him, dodging the debris as he went. The few rock ninja who were conscious and alert chased after him.

"Grab my hand!" yelled Kakashi.

Obito got to Kakashi just in time, for had he gotten there any later, they would have fallen victim to an onslaught of kunai. But as it was, Kakashi grabbed his hand and teleported them both away before further harm could be done. They appeared in the forest next to Rin.

"Kakashi!" said Rin, standing up in alarm, clearly not expecting him to just appear out of thin air.

His vision was starting to blur over and he knew he wouldn't last much longer, so with the last slice of his energy, he threw Minato's kunai at a nearby tree and said, "Get us out of here."

(Veni, Vidi, Vici)

Kakashi awoke sore and out of breath. Struggling upwards, he took several gasping breaths of air.

"Easy, Kakashi," said Minato, who was sitting next to him, legs stretched out on the grass. "You're safe."

"Obito and Rin," said Kakashi quickly. "Are they—"

"They're safe, too," he said, nodding towards a spot further on in the clearing where Obito and Rin sat deep in conversation. "But you need to get better control of your chakra. Chakra exhaustion can be a dangerous thing."

Kakashi was very aware of that fact, given that he had once died from it. However, none of that mattered. Kakashi was so deeply relieved that he burst into raw, deep, loud laughter. It clutched at his chest, bringing a lifetime of regret and pain to the surface. Years of torment over this mission, all erased with a few right moves.

"He's awake!" said Rin, jumping up from her seat and bolting towards them. Obito followed suit. "How are you feeling? You broke your shoulder at the bridge, but I put it in a sling and gave you something for the pain."

"I'm fine," he said, smiling at her concern. "Nothing a little sleep and time won't fix."

"I was telling Minato Sensei, you were incredible. I've never seen half of those jutsus you used."

"Where did you learn to use the Flying Thunder God Technique?" asked Minato, with a suspicious curiosity.

"Watching you, of course," said Kakashi. "I doubt I'll ever be able to use it half as well as you do, but it got Obito and I out of a tight spot."

"Forget about teleporting," said Obito. "Where did you learn to make a water shark?"

"Of all things," said Kakashi, with a humored smile. "You're impressed that I can make a shark out of some water?"

"It's a _shark_ ," said Obito, as if this were supposed to explain everything. "I mean, yeah, I guess the teleporting and the thing you used to cut through the bridge were cool…but a _shark_."

Kakashi shook his head. "What happened after I passed out?"

"Well, Minato showed up," said Obito. "It turns out, that kunai he gave you was like the log. It summoned him when you threw it. Anyways, we grabbed you, came back here, and Rin fixed your shoulder."

"The bridge was completely obliterated," said Rin. "And before Minato showed up in the forest, he defeated an army of one _thousand_."

"Two victories were won today by Konoha," said Minato, smiling. "With any luck, this will turn the tide of the war."

"I hope so," said Rin. "I wish this war would just end already."

Everyone gave brief noises of agreement and Minato said, "Rin, Obito, I need to talk to Kakashi alone for a minute."

The two wandered back to their place on the grass and Minato turned to Kakashi.

"Kakashi, are you okay?" he asked once again. "You've been…off the past couple of days."

"In what way?" stalled Kakashi, giving himself time to think of an excuse.

"Nothing _bad_ ," said Minato. "You're certainly more relaxed. And your plan for the bridge today was good, but it wasn't something you'd normally come up with. Normally, your plans involve an equal amount of risk for everyone and a play to everyone's strengths, but today—" Minato paused, clearly trying to word his point delicately. "—you prioritized your teammates' safety heavily over your own."

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," said Kakashi. It was the only plausible explanation he could come up with regarding his sudden change in behavior. "About the war. About what matters in the world. About what peace means."

"And?"

"If you had to put it into words," said Kakashi, looking over at Minato. "Why is Konoha fighting this war? Why has Konoha fought in any of the Ninja World Wars?"

"To protect our way of life," said Minato slowly, wondering where this was going. "And the people of our country."

"And the other countries, why do you think they're fighting?"

Minato thought for a moment. "Probably the same reasons."

"We all want the same things," said Kakashi, nodding. "All the ninja villages, at the heart of the issue, just want to protect their people and give them the best life they can. We all handle this in different ways. Some ninja villages, in pursuit of this goal, see other ninja villages as the enemy. But when it comes down to it, none of us have to be the enemy."

"So, what are you suggesting?" asked Minato, a smile tugging at his lips. "World peace?"

"Not quite," said Kakashi. Though the Shinobi Union was a reality in his timeline, he didn't blame Minato for seeing it at ridiculous. A few years before the Fourth war, Kakashi couldn't even have pictured it. "Just peace between the five main ninja villages. If we all joined together and talked out our issues diplomatically, we could focus our efforts on the issues outside of our control: terrorists, organized crime groups, that kind of thing."

"That's an optimistic goal."

"It is," said Kakashi. "The other villages have a lot of anger towards Konoha, some of it more justified than others. Whether we want to admit it or not, Konoha _does_ have a power imbalance when it comes to missions. That's not our fault, but it is causing the other villages to suffer. An inequality like that is not something the ninja villages, when founded, accounted for. That, of course, leads to anger, which leads to blame, which leads to the war we've found ourselves in."

"So, what's the solution for that?" asked Minato, his curiosity becoming a bit more genuine.

"In this theoretical alliance," said Kakashi. "It is not unreasonable to assume there might be a committee that divides the missions fairly, based on which village has ninja that possess the talents for those missions, instead of which village has the biggest reputation."

"A lot of people won't like that," said Minato.

"No," agreed Kakashi. "But people like war a lot less."

Kakashi could tell Minato was entertaining it, which was good. If Kakashi could get an alliance started earlier than last time, it would be for the better.

"What does any of that have to do with Obito and Rin?" asked Minato.

"Not much," admitted Kakashi. "Regarding today's mission, I just care about them and don't want them to die."

"That's not the way a commander should be thinking about the ninja in his squad," said Minato, though he looked more sympathetic than his words implied.

"No, it's not. It's as selfish as it is selfless." Kakashi looked out to Obito and Rin, who were laughing together under the stars. "And that's a struggle I'll have to get under control. But, I had a bad feeling about today's mission, and I don't regret any of it."

"None of this is like you at all."

Kakashi smiled and didn't comment, instead asking, "Your mission…how did it go?"

"We won," said Minato. "It went better than any of us could have hoped."

Kakashi didn't figure it would go differently than last time, given that the factors hadn't changed much, but he had to be sure. With that battle secured by Minato's victory, Konoha was set to win the war like last time.

"I've been thinking, too," confessed Minato. "About peace."

"And?"

"I can't imagine all five ninja villages putting aside their differences to team up. But, I do think that this war is…misguided, in a lot of ways."

"And what would you do about it?"

"Win the war, to start. Do what I could to bring peace back to our village and ease the suffering of the people of Konoha, and then—" Minato smiled at him. "—well, your plan, however improbable, sounds nice on paper."

"Start making alliances with only a few villages," offered Kakashi. The last time around, Minato had seemed impossibly wise, but in reality, he was the same age as Kakashi's Naruto. At twenty-three, Kakashi knew that even people as great as Minato and Naruto had a lot to learn. If Minato was to be Hokage, he needed to start thinking about things like this. "Not everyone hates us as much as some and some hatreds won't last as long as others."

"That's a possibility," said Minato. He could see the wheels turning in Minato's head, not quite taking it all seriously but not dismissing it either, wondering how he could fix the world. However, he seemed to quickly realize where he was and who he was talking to and he snapped out of it. "You should get some rest. You've had a long day."

Kakashi was too tired to argue. Later, he would have a lot to plan out, but for now, he laid down on the grass and rested in the peace of his victory.

* * *

 **A/N:** Aaand, that's a wrap! Thanks for sticking around for this monster of a chapter, and please consider leaving a review! Reviews are what make the world go 'round (and the chapters come out motivatedly faster). Have a lovely rest of your day and we'll see y'all next time!

 **Fun Fact of the Chapter:** In the very beginning stages of planning this fanfic, we only knew that we wanted to write a time travel fic. We had no idea what era and method the time traveling would use. This idea, the one that we ended up choosing, was originally second to last on our ranked list of ideas, only just ahead of Laser Beam's joking suggestion of "send everyone back smack dab in the middle of the chunin exams." In the end, though, I think we made the right choice. Life's funny like that.

Now, some notes, for those of you still here:

1\. This story is split up into "arcs," so to speak, the first of which is approximately seven chapters. For the first seven, we're going to just release them as we finish them, and if our viewer base stays relatively small, we'll continue with that. However, if our viewer base gets moderately sized and fairly consistent, we're probably going to switch to finishing an entire arc all at once, and when all the chapters are ready to publish, we'll release them once a week like a television season and repeat that with each arc.

2\. This fanfic is (to the best of our abilities) canon compliant with the manga and will borrow from the anime/movies/books/whatever on earth they are doing with Naruto nowadays as necessary, but not religiously. Also, as those of you who've ever had to work with the Naruto timeline before can empathize with, the timeline of events that the Naruto author created, particularly when it comes to events that happened before the start of the series, is a jumbled mess. We did our best to create a consistent timeline with the details given, but that interpretation might differ from some of yours. Also, the Naruto canon is quite vast, and I can't promise that we won't forget details at some point, and we've had to create several details of our own about the Naruto world, as the story will cover things and go places that the original series did not. We only ask, when it comes to the technical details, you have patience with us.

3\. Regarding chapter songs (the ones that come after the AKA in the title), we recommend you listen to them just because we think it adds to the tone of the story, but they are in no way a necessity. So, listen to them or don't listen to them; either way, we'll never know.

4\. Also, we don't own Naruto, just in case anyone was confused about that or assumed otherwise.


	2. Blame it on a Lot to Do

**A/N:** Bet you thought you'd seen the last of us, bitch.

In all seriousness, sorry about the wait. Life suddenly happened pretty hard, and after that, we honestly agreed to abandon the fic. However, after taking a long break from it, we assumed we would fall out of love with it. It turns out that we can't; our love for this story we created is unending. So, we decided to continue it, for our own sanities.

Also, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. We think the world of you.

If you noticed, we bumped up the rating to M. After we wrote this chapter and realized that after mentions of drug abuse (they are brief and non-graphic, but if mentions of addiction is something that you need warnings for, they are in the first section and the section "Bird of a Feather," so prepare yourself accordingly), a brief, non-graphic paragraph about the loss of virginity, and gratuitous use of the word "fuck," we figured the rating change was probably necessary. It leaves us feeling unrestricted about what we can write.

A warning about timeline issues: the details that the Naruto series mentions about the events that happened before the first episode are mathematically impossible, as far as dates go, and there are a lot of things that don't make sense in the slightest, so we did our best to create a chain of events for this story to revolve around, and took some liberties here and there. So, if you're really passionate about the strictness of canon details, we ask that you be flexible. We picked a timeline and we're not changing it now lol.

Also, warning about character details: There are a lot of characters in this series who really weren't given a lot of screen time or continuous development, and a lot of characters who did have a lot of screen time weren't given near enough development as they should have, so we added in a lot of non-contradictory-to-canon details to flesh out the world and keep these characters interesting and ever-evolving. So, if you see something about a character that makes you think "hey, that wasn't in Naruto" (and there are a lot of these in this chapter, but you probably noticed them in the first chapter, too), we know. We're doing it for the narrative, yo.

 **Previously, on Once More with Feeling:** The night before Sakura's and Sasuke's wedding, Team Seven goes on a mission to the Valley of the End and finds a mysterious, evil crystal. All four of them touch it, causing Kakashi to wake up twenty-four years in the past—the day of the Kannabi Bridge mission. After he realizes that there's no way for him to go back to "his Konoha," he decides to change this new timeline for the better. Kakashi prevents Rin from getting captured, saves Obito from "death," and destroys the Kannabi Bridge. Now, without further ado...

 **Chapter 2:**

 **Blame it on a Lot to Do**

 **AKA**

" **We Used to be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols**

(Nothing Like Hell)

"Nothing brings people together like hell."

Sakura had uttered those words three years ago, curled against the bookshelf in his office with a stack of paperwork in her lap, helping him with administrative duties because she claimed that she had nothing better to do. There was a cynical sharpness in her voice and an uncharacteristic bitterness to her smile that struck him then, so much so that he remembered the conversation after all this time. October 10th brought out an air of melancholy in everyone—memories of the Fourth Ninja World War still looming over them—but combined with an offhand comment from Naruto a few weeks ago that Sakura had been turning down plans with her friends on a regular basis, something in Kakashi clicked.

 _No,_ he thought then, mistakenly, perhaps wishfully, shrugging off that thought. _It's probably just stress_. After all, she'd been putting in insane hours at her clinic, immersing herself in the trauma and troubles of others. And, Naruto and Ino, her two best friends, had been spending most of their free time with their new wife and boyfriend respectively, leaving her with just a man who had vaguely pledged himself to her two years ago and hadn't been seen by her since.

Three months later, when she showed up on his doorstep at two o'clock in the morning, drunk and high out of her mind, sobbing as she confessed to him that she'd been self-prescribing opioids because she couldn't sleep through the night without nightmares of the war or go through a day of work without flashbacks, he kicked himself for justifying away his suspicion of PTSD. But in the office, his social awkwardness triumphed over his concern, and he didn't say anything.

"If you had told me eight years ago that I would fight side-by-side with the Sound Village, I would have never believed you," she had continued, hesitating her pen over the bottom of the page in front of her. "I was so stupid back then. I thought the evilest thing in the world had to be the thing that took Sasuke away from me."

Kakashi shrugged. "If you had told me twenty years ago that I'd be fighting side-by-side with the Mist or the Rock, I would have never believed you. I don't think any of us could have predicted that there was something worse than humanity."

"You don't hold a grudge."

"No," he had said, after a moment. "After—" _I inadvertently caused the Fourth Ninja World War, killing forty thousand people_. "—everything that happened, it's hard to hold one."

She gave him a look out of the corner of her eye, one that told him she knew what he wasn't saying, but she didn't comment on it. It was one of the reasons why he didn't mind her company on a day he usually preferred to spend alone, he realized now as a pang of grief struck him; she never pressed on matters he didn't want to talk about.

"You're better than me, then. If Orochimaru walked through those doors, I'm not certain I could remain civil." Sighing softly, she forged his signature on whatever document she had been withholding it from. "Still, peace _is_ nice. It took the threat of the world ending, but hey—" She had grinned sincerely then. "—nothing brings people together like hell."

"No," he had agreed. "Nothing like hell."

Standing in front of an apartment he had never visited but knew the location of all the same, he hoped her words were correct—that hell (or, at least, the warnings of it) would be enough. Still mourning the loss of her, the loss of all three of his students to wherever they had disappeared, he clung onto her words, using them to summon his courage for the awkward conversation he was about to have.

That morning, when he tried to formulate a plan on how to proceed, he came to three conclusions. First, with some careful planning, he could probably gather enough evidence to take down Orochimaru and Danzō, he could probably get to the Akatsuki in time to save them and convince them not to become a criminal organization, he could probably keep Obito and Rin safe, and he could probably prevent Minato and Kushina from dying next October. What he could _not_ do, realistically, was accomplish all those things by himself in the span of a year.

Second, there were only two powerful ninja on the planet that Kakashi trusted unconditionally with the knowledge of the future, believing that they would never, under any circumstances, betray Konoha, could mostly put aside their personal involvement to do the right thing, and were insane enough to go along with helping him. One of them was likely sitting in a casino somewhere half a world away and would have to be tracked down, but Jiraiya, much to Kakashi's luck, had the day off and was in the village.

Third, though Kakashi and Jiraiya had never been close, and he didn't know what emotional strings to pull to make Jiraiya trust him, he did know the one thing that intrigued Jiraiya beyond all else— _information_. And, if nothing else, Kakashi had more useful information than the rest of the world combined.

 _Nothing brings people together like hell_.

Kakashi knocked on the door.

(The Real Beginning Pt. 1)

There was no pleasure on earth greater than writing—the art of delicately arranging words to create something that was beyond the self. Of the entirety of humankind, even. Nothing was more rewarding than creating a story that reached the very core of the people who came across it, causing a shift, an _enlightenment_ , in their soul.

At least, that was the sort of pretentious bullshit that Jiraiya told himself when, after an hour and a half of work, he only had three paragraphs to show for it. They weren't even _good_ paragraphs, looking back on them. They were stiff and clunky, and his abuse of punctuation was probably a crime.

"Do I even like writing?" asked Jiraiya aloud, putting his head in his hands.

Fuck that, women were by far a greater blessing to the world than prose. Hell, he could even make a good argument for a mediocre piece of fried chicken.

What was he even laboring for, anyway? His first book had been a commercial failure (the only people who enjoyed in, as far as he knew, were Minato and Kushina, and he still wasn't sure if that wasn't just because they took pity on him), so he doubted the sequel would fair any better. One was supposed to write for themselves, sure, but an audience was a good motivator.

A knock on his door interrupted his angst. He considered ignoring it, not in the mood for company, but he eventually frowned at his manuscript, tossed it onto his kitchen counter, and opened the door. To his surprise, Kakashi Hatake was standing on the other side of it.

Kakashi's resemblance to his father was uncanny, particularly as he had gotten older. Granted, Jiraiya had never seen the bottom half of his face, but the likeness was enough to irritate a long-suppressed undercurrent of grief. Years ago, before Jiraiya started spending an extended amount of time outside of the village and Sakumo died, they had been close—even rivaling Jiraiya's friendship with Orochimaru at one point. But, from what Jiraiya had noticed during his limited amount of time around Kakashi, Kakashi's and Sakumo's personalities could not have been more different.

After the initial moment of shock, Jiraiya noticed how _sick_ Kakashi looked. Lined with exhaustion, his face was paler than usual, save for the purple bags underneath his eyes. His right hand was bandaged and his left arm hung limply at his side, both likely damaged on his previous mission.

"Hey," said Jiraiya, leaning against the doorframe. "I don't know if anyone's told you this, but you look terrible."

"Thanks," said Kakashi dryly. "Can I come in?"

Stepping out of the doorway, Jiraiya let Kakashi in and nodded his head in the direction of his dining table, where they both sat down.

"Have you been in the village long?" asked Kakashi lightly.

"Just a couple of days. Your team got back yesterday, right?" asked Jiraiya, playing along with the small talk even though he already knew the answer. For the past twenty-four hours, the village had buzzed nonstop about its own Yellow Flash defeating one thousand Rock ninja and destroying the Kannabi Bridge, reigniting a spark of hope in everyone that the war might not end with Konoha's destruction. Of course, Minato hadn't actually destroyed the Kannabi Bridge, that particular victory belonging to his students, but no one who knew better was bothering to correct anyone; Minato single-handedly turning the tide of the war made a nice narrative.

"Mhmm," said Kakashi, before slumping down a bit in his chair and resting his head on the back of it, his eyes looking like they were fighting to stay open.

"You ever consider going to a hospital?" asked Jiraiya, half-worried that the kid was going to pass out in his kitchen.

"If you think my injuries are bad, you should see the bridge," he said, and Jiraiya was certain that was the first time he'd ever heard Kakashi tell a joke.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, just long enough for the moment to verge on awkward as Jiraiya waited for Kakashi to disclose the reason behind his visit, before Kakashi reached into his bag, pulled out a bottle of sake, and slid it across the tabletop towards Jiraiya. Jiraiya examined the bottle to find that it was, strangely, his favorite brand.

"It's an apology," said Kakashi, before Jiraiya could inquire. "For what I'm about to ask you."

Normally, the dramatics of teenagers were easily excused, but there was something about the situation that unnerved Jiraiya. Despite the fact that Jiraiya was usually an expert at reading people, he was unable to gather anything from Kakashi other than "sick." Kakashi's face was impossibly neutral and unemotional. He was masking something, undoubtedly, but Jiraiya couldn't tell what.

"Sure," said Jiraiya, shrugging and putting on a poker face of his own. "What's up?"

"I want to propose a trade. I have information that you'll be interested in, and in exchange, I want you to consider helping me deal with said information."

"Information on what?"

"Nearly everything and everyone you could possibly want information on."

 _He's being dramatic_ , Jiraiya told himself, trying to settle the unease pooling in his chest. It might have worked if Jiraiya had been able to ascertain _anything_ about Kakashi's mental state—confidence, fear, deceit, even the detached gaze that came from being controlled. Just _something_. The impassiveness on his face, in his body language, and in his demeanor rivaled the skill of particularly accomplished ANBU members.

"I know this is a weird," said Kakashi, leaning forward and placing his arms on the table. "It's been a really weird few days. But, if you're wondering, about now, give or take a few days, the Rock has decided to surrender. The Mist has decided not to. A peace organization, started by the orphans you took in about thirteen years ago, is gaining significant notoriety. The Raikage is considering locking his adoptive brother—the Eight-Tales' host—inside of Kumogakure to protect him, and the Third Hokage is considering retirement. Madara Uchiha, who is less dead than everyone thinks, is probably watching most of this unfold. And, that's _only_ the beginning."

 _He's baiting me into something_ , thought Jiraiya, and unfortunately, it was working. Several pieces of Kakashi's monologue stuck out to him—the Rock's surrender, the Ame orphans, the Third's retirement, _Madara being alive_ —and a thousand questions sprang up into his mind. If Kakashi, somehow, wasn't just making shit up, he had already given him more valuable information than Jiraiya had been able to dig up in the last six months.

"How could you possibly know all that?" asked Jiraiya.

"That's…where it gets weird."

"Try me."

Kakashi paused for a long, tense moment, but his stony façade never once slipped, much to Jiraiya's chagrin.

"Okay," said Kakashi. "I'm actually thirty-seven. Three days ago, my former students and I touched a crystal that drained all our chakra and sent me back in time into my thirteen-year-old body. You are one of only two people I trust with this information, and I intend to sit down with both of you and explain what happens in the next twenty-four years, so that the three of us might do something about it, if you're willing."

Jiraiya didn't know what he had been expecting, but that sure as hell wasn't it. "You're bullshitting me," he said, refusing to even process that.

"Do I seem like the bullshitting type?"

"There's no such thing as _time travel_."

"Three days ago, I would have said the same thing. But, here I am, thirteen again." Kakashi paused. "Look, I wouldn't believe me either, so I'm not expecting blind faith. I fully intend to show you proof."

"Yeah?"

"I'm assuming you're aware of Konoha's attempts to genetically embed people with Hashirama's genes to give them Wood Release?"

Forced to actually sort through the barrage of information that Kakashi had thrown at him in the last minute and a half, Jiraiya concluded that Kakashi must have lost his mind, snapping under the pressure of war and jōnin life. Jiraiya was willing to buy into a lot of things, having experienced premonition weirdness in his own lifetime, but time travel was a special level of outlandish.

Still, a terrifying, almost dizzying, thread of doubt lingered in his mind. Even if Kakashi had taken a train straight out of reality, that didn't explain how he knew about the Ame orphans or the Wood Release experiments.

 _I have to get more information out of him_ , thought Jiraiya. Evidence, one way or another, would sort this out.

"I am," said Jiraiya.

"After they were deemed forbidden due to their one-hundred percent mortality rate, someone, unbeknownst to the Third Hokage, continued these experiments in secret in a lab just outside of Konoha, using sixty kidnapped children. When the failure rate didn't improve, that person abandoned the lab, leaving the remaining kids to die."

"You want to show me a lab full of dead kids as proof that you're from the future?"

"One of them survived," said Kakashi. "Unbeknownst to the owner of the lab, and is currently trapped alone in a test tube and in need of rescue. The kid's name is Tenzō, and he is…was, will be, whatever, a friend of mine."

"Who does the lab belong to?"

"That's…a conversation best saved for later," said Kakashi.

Though Jiraiya was not pleased that Kakashi was withholding information that important (assuming, of course, the story of the lab was true), he conceded to let it go, temporarily. "How do I know you're not involved, and that's why you know about it?"

"Who would recruit Minato's manically rule-abiding student, who has no medical knowledge beyond the basics required for all ninja, for illegal, genetic experiments?"

That was a fair point, though it only added to Jiraiya's disquietness. "If you really know everything, tell me about the orphans."

"Their names are Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato. You, Tsunade, and Orochimaru stumbled across them some years ago. I don't know the exact date; the person who told me this story wasn't that detailed. Orochimaru suggested that you mercy-kill them, but you took them in instead. Yahiko and Konan were talented, but you thought Nagato, with his Rinnegan, was more special. You thought he was the prophecy child, replacing your earlier suspicions that it was Minato."

Kakashi's accurateness didn't sway him. "Tell me about their peace organization."

"They're called the Akatsuki," said Kakashi. "At least, that's what they would be called at some point. They want world peace, and they're currently operating out of a hideout in Ame. They're amassing a lot of influence—too much, if you consider the fact that someone outside of Ame is petitioning for Hanzō to aid in their demise."

"What country wants them gone?" asked Jiraiya, struggling to see how, in the midst of a world war, a random peace organization in a country out of combat could be relevant to a nation's interest.

"It's not a nation," said Kakashi. "Not really. Just one guy who really likes meddling in other people's affairs to forward his own extremism."

Kakashi was clearly withholding a name again, but Jiraiya was at least able to infer a few things. Though this person was acting alone, he was still in a position of power somewhere ("not a nation—not _really_ "). And, though Kakashi's tone never fluctuated, his wording strongly suggested that he had a personal beef with this guy.

Everything Kakashi had said so far, every move he had made, was exceedingly calculated and impartial, so Jiraiya had no doubt that Kakashi meant for him to pick up on those things. Given those deductions, there was only one reason Kakashi might leave that person nameless, despite his apparent hatred of him—likely, the same reason he wasn't telling him who owned the lab; he wanted to avoid Jiraiya starting a conflict with whomever was behind it. For that reason, the man had to be local, close enough for Jiraiya to immediately confront him. If his first inference was correct, he was a member of Konoha's government, acting alone behind the Hokage's back, which meant it could only be…

 _Danzō._

 _Shit._

Being a writer, Jiraiya could appreciate a good tale, and he had to admit, it was a good one. It was exactly tailored to his interests, featuring promises of priceless information, a dangerous threat to his prophecy child, and an insidious plot inside the village from those who would wish to harm it. If it had come from someone else, Jiraiya would admit to it being the perfect lie—that the storyteller had been out told, if only for a moment.

However, this was Kakashi, who was known for caring far more about lawfulness than personal gain. Who spent nearly all of his time with Minato, and therefore couldn't have found the occasion to randomly ascertain information about Jiraiya that no one person had all the knowledge of. Who was known for being as narratively creative as a sack of potatoes. Sure, he could tell a convincing lie to fool an opponent—all great ninja could—but this went far beyond the average manipulation. If it had been anyone _but_ Kakashi…

But, it wasn't, and with a chill going down his spine, Jiraiya realized that there was a chance he was telling the truth—that time travel might just be real.

"The guy and the lab," said Jiraiya slowly, still trying to emotionally deal with that revelation. "They connected?"

Kakashi allowed a smile into his eyes, confirming Jiraiya's suspicions that he was meant to draw his own conclusions. He had to give it to him; even if Jiraiya doubted that he could craft a story of novel proportions, Kakashi was certainly good at mind games. "He's not the owner, no, but they are connected. Like I said, he likes to meddle."

So, Danzō was helping someone conduct illegal experiments. Danzō was going behind the Third's back to contact enemy leaders. If Jiraiya had to guess, judging from Kakashi's reaction, that wasn't the end of Danzō's treasonous escapades. Either of those things alone, if backed up with proof, would be enough to start the process of taking Danzō down. However, that task would leave Konoha's government in shambles, which could completely destroy Konoha's current upper hand in the war.

If he had a modicum of evidence, he could at least warn the Third to trust Danzō less, but all Jiraiya had were assumptions about the subtext in Kakashi's vague warnings. Which, he suspected, was exactly what Kakashi wanted, for whatever reason.

Fuck it, he was done with the cryptic back and forth. There was no point in going any further without knowing if the lab was real.

"I'll go with you to the lab," said Jiraiya, suppressing his want to ask more questions. "But if you play any tricks, if you're baiting me into something, I will kill you without even thinking about it."

"I know," said Kakashi, standing up and grabbing his bag. "I wouldn't expect any less from you. Besides, I'm suffering from chakra exhaustion at the moment, so I couldn't really pull anything even if I wanted to."

"What's in the bag?" asked Jiraiya, gesturing to it.

"Nothing," said Kakashi, opening it so Jiraiya could see its lack of contents. "We're going to need something to sneak the kid back into the village with."

"You're going to shove your old friend in a workout bag?"

"If you have any better suggestions, I'd love to hear them," said Kakashi sarcastically. It was no surprise to Jiraiya that Kakashi, with a newfound sense of humor, would have a dry one. Sakumo, though much more personable in general, was the same way. "If not, are you ready?"

"Let me grab my weapons," said Jiraiya. "I don't know what you do in your spare time, but I'm generally not packing when I'm lazing about my apartment."

Standing up and wandering into his bedroom, Jiraiya allowed himself a quiet moment of prayer to the afterlife.

 _Sakumo, if your kid fucks me over, I'm going to be pissed._

* * *

If Kakashi was telling the truth about the time traveling thing, he had definitely been ANBU in his previous life.

Being a spy, Jiraiya considered himself an expert at stealthing and tracking, and he expected to have to do some compensating for Kakashi as they sneaked to the lab, to make sure no one noticed them. However, Kakashi kept up easily, and his hearing and sensitivity to noises were even better than Jiraiya's. When they finally got to the entrance of the lab, Kakashi was the one to check for traps and found a seal in the door frame, though Jiraiya had to be the one to dispel it and hold the foreign chakra in his palms until they could reseal it on the way back, as Kakashi couldn't muster enough chakra to do so.

(" _Don't worry," Jiraiya had teased. "Lots of men have trouble performing under pressure."_

" _Speaking from experience?" Kakashi shot back._ )

Once they could safely open the door, Jiraiya was immediately hit by the smell of death, and any mood to banter further was lost.

"Damn," whispered Jiraiya. "You weren't kidding."

"Unfortunately not," said Kakashi softly. "Are you ready?"

"After you," said Jiraiya, holding open the door.

With the smell of decay as their only hint of direction, Kakashi confessing that he didn't really pay attention to the layout the last time he was here, they slowly wandered around the halls for several minutes, trying to find their way through the rusted, door-lined labyrinth without setting off any traps. Some of the doors were cracked open and they could see vast collections of dried-up vials and chemical stains. Part of Jiraiya wanted to investigate, but the threat of toxic fumes and the sense that they had bigger fish to fry kept him from stopping.

Several twist and turns later, they came face-to-face with the largest part of the lab—the hall where the human experiments were conducted.

Sixty human-sized test tubes were in six lines along the length of the hall, but most of them were shattered, surrounded by shards of glass and the bodies of the kids they once contained. The corpses were all in various stages of rot; some of the kids had only perished weeks ago, while some of them had clearly been dead for some time. The smell was so think that Jiraiya could hardly breath, and he was suddenly jealous of Kakashi's mask.

Near the back of the room, in the only unbroken container left, a young boy, no older than ten, was submerged in green liquid, completely naked, his eyes wide in terror. In a sudden rush of both horror and anger, Jiraiya realized that the other kids must have been awake, as well, eternally stuck in this macabre prison, surrounded by the decomposing bodies of their fellow prisoners until death finally showed them enough mercy to take them, too.

"Damn," said Jiraiya again, unsure of what else to say. "This is…"

"Terrible," finished Kakashi, his jaw locked firmly into place, and there was murder in his eyes. For the first time, he had let something, besides his annoyance at Jiraiya, slip through. However, he quickly reigned it in, and Jiraiya had a feeling Kakashi had seen some shit in his previous life. "Tenzō's alive. That's what matters."

"I'll keep watch," said Jiraiya, taking off his red jacket so Kakashi had something to wrap Tenzō in. "He's your friend, and you look less threatening than I do."

Nodding, Kakashi made his way down the hall, carefully avoiding the bodies, though Jiraiya had no intentions of actually keeping watch for intruders. Instead, he watched Kakashi intently out of the corner of his eyes, trying to do a quick character study on the guy as he wrestled with whether or not to believe him. When Kakashi reached the test tube, Tenzō's eyes grew somehow wider.

"I'm going to get you out of here," said Kakashi, raising his hands in placating sort of surrender. His tone was kind and reassuring, which surprised him, as Jiraiya would not have put "good with kids" on a guess at Kakashi's skillset. "Close your eyes, and keep them closed, alright?"

Tenzō did as he asked. Grabbing a kunai off of his belt, Kakashi began to plunge it into the tube repeatedly in a neat circle, causing green liquid to spew out all over him, until he could carefully remove the chunk he had been working away at and squeeze Tenzō through the hole.

"Who are you?" asked Tenzō, opening his eyes now that he was no longer under water. "Are you the one that put me here?"

"No," said Kakashi, helping him stand and gently wrapping the jacket around him like a blanket. Jiraiya wondered if Kakashi had kids in his other life. "My name's Kakashi, and I'm going to make sure the people who put you in here will never touch you again."

"I don't know my name," said Tenzō, panicking. "I don't remember anything."

"It's alright. Your name is Tenzō." Kakashi pointed at Jiraiya. "And that's Jiraiya. He's a friend who is _supposed_ to be keeping watch, but instead is far more interested in looking at me, apparently."

Jiraiya flipped him off, but couldn't help but feel a bit of nostalgia. His sudden tenderness towards Tenzō made the comparison to Sakumo even greater, a mirror to how Sakumo would act towards Kakashi when he was young. Combined with the dry, bitchy sort of quips that made you feel like you had taken up a wife instead of friend, flipping off Kakashi felt like old times. If he didn't hate Kakashi on principle for dragging him into this weird, time travel conspiracy, Jiraiya might have even felt some fondness towards him.

"There were others," said Tenzō, scanning over the fallen children with a far-off look in his eyes. "They're all gone, and I—"

Whatever he was going to say, they never knew; Tenzō collapsed on the floor of the lab. Kakashi quickly took his vitals, and once satisfied, he gingerly placed Tenzō in the bag and walked back over to Jiraiya.

"He'll be fine," said Kakashi. "He's just passed out."

"Good," said Jiraiya. "Let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

The journey back to Jiraiya's apartment was quiet and tense, as Kakashi seemed to have lost all will for light conversation, and Jiraiya was having a crisis.

Though it was completely insane, the evidence pointed to only one, terrifying conclusion: Kakashi was a time-traveler. Despite the madness, Jiraiya was actually starting to believe him. What else could account for the sudden personality change, omniscience, and increase in ninja abilities?

 _This is all your fault, Sakumo_ , thought Jiraiya. _Making me trust your stupid kid by association._

But, what did it affect him that Kakashi was a time traveler? After all, it wasn't like Jiraiya's life had to change. He didn't have to do anything Kakashi asked. If he wanted to, he could live his life as normal and let Kakashi deal with his own problems.

Though, time travel did affect his entire outlook on how the universe and time itself worked, which was horrifying, and thinking about the implications of such a thing would no doubt become front and center of the existential thoughts he often had, for at least the next several months. Not to mention, now that he knew at least two people were betraying the village, his sense of duty would probably persevere in that regard, which is probably what Kakashi was hoping for.

"Should I put him on the couch?" asked Kakashi, when they got back to Jiraiya's place, untangling the unconscious form of Tenzō from the bag.

"Put him on the bed," said Jiraiya. "Who knows what was in that green stuff. I can change sheets easier than I can clean a couch."

As Kakashi disappeared into his bedroom, Jiraiya got out a glass, hesitated a moment, grabbed another glass, and brought both to the kitchen table. By the time Kakashi had situated Tenzō, Jiraiya was already pouring from the gifted sake bottle.

"You want one?" asked Jiraiya.

"Please," said Kakashi, sitting down.

Jiraiya poured another glass, slid it across the table, and picked up his own glass. "This entire thing is insane."

Kakashi nodded and did the same. They both gave a quick "cheers" and downed their sake in one go. It was bad form, of course, to shot perfectly good sake, but by God if the situation didn't warrant it.

"What are you wanting from me?" asked Jiraiya, already pouring himself another glass. Of all the people Kakashi could ask for help, why would he go to him? "What exactly are you hoping I'm going to do?"

"I don't like asking for help," said Kakashi. "And trying to explain the fact that I'm from the future is even worse, so trust me when I say that I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. Konoha has a lot more enemies than just the countries we're currently fighting against. In eighteen years, we're going to have a war that makes this one look like child's play."

"Another world war?" asked Jiraiya.

"Yes," said Kakashi. "But instead of fighting one another, all the nations team up to fight against…well, the other side."

"What group is going to be powerful enough to fight against the rest of the world?"

"That's a long story," said Kakashi. "A very long story that I would rather only tell once, when we've found the other person."

Jiraiya mentally filed it away on his list of questions to ask later. "So, you want to prevent the war?"

"I don't know if it can be prevented," admitted Kakashi. "I've never been fond of the idea that bad things are destined to happen, but if anything is, that war is it. Nearly everything that's happened in the past thousand years, including your prophecy—" Jiraiya's heart leapt just a moment in the insanity. Kakashi knew who the Prophecy Child was. "—leads up to it, one way or another."

"Is it still going on in your time?" asked Jiraiya, wondering what a war of that magnitude might look like—if Kakashi had perhaps come from a destroyed wasteland of a world.

"No, the Fourth Ninja World War only lasted for three days." Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but forty thousand people died and the world almost ended."

"Considering you're sitting here, though, I'm assuming you won."

"We did," said Kakashi. "In fact, we're currently living in peacetime."

"If you're living in peacetime," said Jiraiya. "Why time travel?"

"It wasn't…purposeful. As I said, we accidentally touched a crystal, it drained our chakra, and I woke up here. If I could go back, I would."

"Leave a lot of things behind?" guessed Jiraiya.

Kakashi nodded. "People, living in peace, the knowledge that the end of the world was behind us, that sort of thing."

For a moment, even though he still hated Kakashi for bringing him into this, Jiraiya actually felt bad for him. Jiraiya was having a crisis just trying to accept that time travel was real; he couldn't imagine what he'd be feeling if he had been the one who time traveled.

"You…doing okay?" asked Jiraiya awkwardly.

"Yeah," said Kakashi, just as awkwardly. "I did most of my…panicking a couple days ago, so now it's just…down to business."

Jiraiya tried to think of something helpful to say, but found himself, like he had been all morning, lost for words.

"Right," said Jiraiya, drinking some more sake instead. "If not the war, what are you trying to do?"

"I want to minimize the bloodshed on the way there," said Kakashi. "As I said, forty thousand people died during the Fourth Ninja World War alone, and there was a lot of unnecessary, preventable death in the eighteen years leading up to it. Konoha's still standing, but only because we completely rebuilt it."

It sounded noble, but Jiraiya could see a major flaw in his thinking. "Have you considered that we might want to leave things alone?" asked Jiraiya. "If something we do causes us to _lose_ the war…"

"I have. But, if the war is destined, the one who is going to stop it is equally so." Kakashi gave Jiraiya a significant look, and Jiraiya realized he was teasing the prophecy again. "Besides, even excluding the events of today, I've already changed something major, so there's really no going back now."

"If you've only been here for three days and have been on the Kannabi Bridge mission for all of them," said Jiraiya. "What the hell could you have possibly changed?"

"It'll make sense later," said Kakashi. "It's part of that long story."

 _Damn him_. "Who's this other person we're talking to? Minato?"

"Minato is one of the most unconditionally good people I've ever met, but I'm not sure he can put aside his personal connection to the events of the next twenty-four years enough to not do something impulsive. He's wiser than most, but he's still twenty-three." Kakashi paused. "The other is Tsunade."

Jiraiya nearly laughed. "You think that _Tsunade_ can put aside emotional involvement better than Minato? You know that she's—"

"Retired, terrified of blood, and gambling away everything she owns as a coping mechanism," finished Kakashi. "I know. But, she doesn't stay like that forever. She was the Fifth Hokage in my last lifetime."

"Who the hell made Tsunade Hokage?"

"You did," said Kakashi. "Because if not, they were going to make you do it."

 _That was smart of me_. "What happens to the Fourth that makes Konoha succumb to that level of desperation?"

Kakashi hesitated, and once again, his aloofness slipped for just a fraction of a moment. _Pain_ , Jiraiya noted. _Kakashi is masking pain._ Something must have happened to the Fourth—death, if he had to guess. If the Third was planning to retire soon, Jiraiya knew him well enough to know that the position of the Fourth would come down to himself, Orochimaru, or Minato. Jiraiya, of course, wasn't going to accept, and it wasn't hard to guess which of the remaining two's deaths would bring back painful memories to Kakashi.

As his blood ran cold, he did his best to push that thought away. If something _did_ happen to Minato, Jiraiya assumed it would be on Kakashi's list of things to change. Even if not, he was damn well putting it on his own list.

Looking at the boy (no, _man_ ) in front of him, Jiraiya wondered what happened to Kakashi in the next twenty-four years. Most people, when given the opportunity to time travel, would either do one of two things: keep it to themselves and change a few regrets here and there, or try and convince leadership of future horrors so that competent, experienced people could deal with them. Kakashi, however, was offering to lead a small, specialized task force to single-handedly save the world, confirming Jiraiya's earlier suspicion. People didn't go through that kind of masochism unless some serious shit went down in their lives.

"Were you in the ANBU?" asked Jiraiya, changing the subject.

"Thirteen years. Captain for ten, until they gave me a genin squad."

"You said 'former students.' You didn't go back after you were taken off their squad?"

"No, I wish. Tsunade thought that commanding a village through a world war was enough leadership for one lifetime and was desperate enough to make me her replacement."

"You were the Sixth Hokage?" asked Jiraiya incredulously, though it wasn't entirely unbelievable. Kakashi was a skilled ninja, and ten years as an ANBU captain and five years as a jōnin leader would give anyone decent leadership skills. If he had gained enough notoriety by the Fourth Ninja World War and the village still hadn't managed to produce willing replacements, Jiraiya could see it.

"Really, I was just a placeholder until one of my students matured enough to become the Seventh. No one wanted nor deserved the title of Hokage more than him." Kakashi sighed. "I was so close to handing it over and retiring, too."Now…" He gestured vaguely around him, and Jiraiya understood.

"Where did the crystal come from?" asked Jiraiya. "If someone has the knowledge to do _that_ —"

"I have a good guess of who put it there," said Kakashi. "But as to how touching it caused this, I'm at a loss. It's not in the spot we found it in this timeline, so I wouldn't even know how to guess."

Yup, time-traveling crystals were definitely going to do a number on his existentialism. It wasn't enough that he laid awake at night wondering "what does life mean?" and "what is my destiny?" apparently. The universe had seen it fit to throw "if time travel exists in this world, does destiny as we know it even exist?" into the mix.

"If your students touched it with you," said Jiraiya. "Where are they now?"

There it was again— _pain_. "I have no idea."

Unable to think of anything helpful to say to that (because, really, had anyone ever managed to come up with something useful to say to somebody who'd lost someone?), Jiraiya poured him another glass of sake. With a "thanks," Kakashi took a long drink.

"What the hell do you actually look like?" asked Jiraiya, moving on from the moment he'd accidentally caused.

Putting his hands together, Kakashi transformed into his thirty-seven-year-old self.

"Damn," said Jiraiya. "You look _just_ like your dad."

 _Well, almost_ , thought Jiraiya. Upon close inspection, his jaw line was a little narrower than Sakumo's, and his nose was slenderer—two qualities that he'd inherited from his mother. Still, it was nice to pretend, if Sakumo had lived just a little longer, that's what he would have looked like.

"That's what they tell me," said Kakashi, transforming back.

An insane part of him, the same part that got roped into believe in time travel in the first place, _wanted_ to find Tsunade with Kakashi. Sure, his ultimate purpose in life had been to train the Prophecy Child, but for all he knew, that was already finished. Maybe joining whatever world-saving team Kakashi was looking to throw together was his new destiny, and that's why the universe had thrown Kakashi at his doorstep. Maybe that's why he'd been in such a rut lately—in writing, in information gathering, and emotionally, truth be told. He'd been stagnated by fate _,_ all to prepare for this moment.

Besides, between wanting to save Minato and to find out, at last, who the Prophecy Child was, he couldn't _not_ go.

"When does the war end?" asked Jiraiya.

"December," said Kakashi. "We win, if anyone can be considered a winner in this war."

"Am I necessary for the conclusion of the war, for some reason?"

Kakashi shook his head. "I'm sure you know whose hands that's in."

"Then I'm in," said Jiraiya. "I'll take you to Tsunade."

"I appreciate that," said Kakashi sincerely.

"The point still stands, though. If you fuck me over, I will kill you."

"I would expect nothing less."

Jiraiya leaned back in his chair. "I can leave the village for whatever reason I want to and get the Third to call it a mission, but I'll have to talk to him about taking you along. He'll be confused, to say the least. Maybe I'll tell him that I'm taking you on as a spy apprentice."

"I need you to, for future reason," said Kakashi. "Convince the Third that Rin and Obito should not leave the village from here until the war ends for any reason. So, you could phrase it like you're concerned that we might distract Minato, and since Minato is single-handedly carrying us out of the war at this point, it's in everyone's best interests if his full attention is given to the war. So, you're taking me on as an apprentice, Rin would be good at the hospital, and Obito…"

Jiraiya thought back to the limited amount of times he had seen Obito, trying to figure out a good place for him. "Academy instructor?"

"That's good, actually," said Kakashi, after thinking it over for a moment. "I think he'd like the academy."

"Why do sound so surprised that I had a good idea?" asked Jiraiya, determined to wear down Kakashi in order to win whatever banter battle they had going on. Besides, he was clearly entitled to some compensation for this whole experience, and relentlessly mocking Kakashi seemed like a start. "Oh, right, Mr. 'I'm going to shove a small, injured child in a workout bag' and 'I'm going to trust Tsunade with the fate of the world,' I forgot that you are so clearly at the top of the food chain when it comes to monopolizing good ideas."

"What can I say?" asked Kakashi. "I'm a choosy beggar."

 _Touche_. "Also, before we leave, we're going to have to replace Tenzō's body in the lab," said Jiraiya. "Someone's going to notice if there's a broken test tube without a body."

"I know," said Kakashi. "But unless you plan to kill a nine-year-old, I'm not sure how we're going to do that. The graveyard is usually well guarded. They're going to notice if we start digging up graves."

"I know the guy down at the morgue," said Jiraiya. "I can see if—"

Before he could finish, there was a loud knock on the door, and both of their eyes went wide.

(The Calm Before the Storm)

Minato and Kushina had been awake for thirty minutes, still tangled in the warmth of their sheets and each other's arms, and the silence in the bedroom was loud with things deliberately not being talked about.

Resting her head on her husband's chest, Kushina tried to push the outside world from her mind. Minato's calloused fingers were alternating between painlessly untangling the knots from her hair and drawing absent-minded patterns on her back, and it ought to have been easy to relax into his touch. She was _tired_ —from worry, from constant missions, from social isolation—and it was nice to pretend that they might could just lay in bed forever.

But, there was a silence in the bedroom, a far-away look in Minato's eyes, that couldn't be ignored. Her husband had a bad habit of retreating into his mind, torturing himself in an endless loop of stress, and she had to get him out of there.

"I've missed you," said Kushina, craning her neck up to look at him. How long had it been since they'd gotten to spend a morning together? The early days of their marriage, before the war started, seemed like a distant fantasy.

His face softened. "I've missed you, too."

Many ninja couples had a rule about one another's work: unless it was brought up, don't ask. Particularly during times of war, it kept their home lives from being ruled by the unrelenting chaos of missions and politics. Most days, this worked for Minato and Kushina, and they were content to shrug off their work life at the door for at least a few hours. But, Kushina was more impatient than most, and both had more responsibilities than most, so sometimes it didn't work out the way it should.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Kushina, softly brushing his bangs out of his eyes.

"Not really," admitted Minato. "It's all anyone talks about. The last time I had a conversation that wasn't about war was two weeks ago, when Mrs. Yamada told me how her carrots were doing." The beginnings of a smile formed on his face. "They're growing fine, by the way, if you're curious."

"Thanks," said Kushina, rolling her eyes good naturedly.

"Even the kids are wrapped up in it. Not the carrots—the war." Minato frowned. "I think it might have actually broken Kakashi."

"What?"

"He was…weird on the Kannabi Bridge mission."

"Weirder than normal, you mean?" she asked, trying to hide a smile.

"Yes," he said, smiling in turn. "Weirder than normal. Nothing _bad_ , per se. In fact, he was… _pleasant_. He admitted that the ninja code was not as important as experience and instinct, came up with a plan that put Obito and Rin completely out of danger, and gave me a speech about world peace."

Kushina was silent for a moment. "I don't mean to alarm you," she said, with a faux-seriousness. "But it sounds like Kakashi has come down with a serious case of 'developing feelings.'"

"I mean it, Kushina," said Minato, though he looked amused. "I didn't say anything to him, because I just wanted the three of them to get through the mission alive, but I'm worried about him."

"You shouldn't be," she said, moving herself up to kiss him on the forehead. "We're all stressed out by the war, you know? If he got through the mission just fine, this is probably his way of coping. I'm sure we'll all be back to normal once the war ends."

"I hope so."

"You know, Jiraiya's in town," she said, trying to take his mind off it. "We could go visit him, if you like."

"I haven't seen him in months," said Minato. "We'd have to get out of bed, though."

"It would be a shame." She grinned. "But I'm sure we could manage by dinner."

"I don't know. Seems like a lofty goal." His expression turned serious again. "How are you doing?"

There he was, in his head again. "No worse than anyone else, I expect."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she said. She couldn't take away the responsibility that had been thrust upon him, being the last beacon of hope that the village had, but perhaps she could give some hope back to him. Resting the weight of her upper body on her hand, she sat up. "There was something else I wanted to talk to you about, though."

"Are you breaking up with me?" asked Minato, sitting up to meet her.

"Be _serious_ , you idiot," said Kushina, laughing. "You're not making this easy, you know."

"Sorry," he said, suppressing a smile. "What would you like to talk about, love?"

A wave of anxiety began to creep up inside of her, and she nervously twirled a strand of hair around her finger. It was an exciting decision, but it was terrifying, too.

"Do you remember what you brought up a month ago?" she asked. "About starting a family after the war is over?"

Minato froze. "Yeah?"

"I've been thinking it over," she said. "And I think we should."

For just a moment, the shadow in his eyes disappeared and a dumbstruck smile crossed his face. "You don't think it's too soon?"

"No," she said, renouncing her initial apprehensions. "Besides, there's no better time for a ten month break than after a war. I could certainly use it, you know?"

Though their decision to have a child felt monumental for them, they never would have guessed that it was one of the most important choices that anyone had ever made. But, more on that later.

"You'll have to go into hiding," he said, the worry starting to return. "Just in case."

"I know."

"It will be dangerous."

"You're the one who suggested it."

"I know," he said. "I just want to make sure you don't feel…pressured into this."

"Minato, have you ever been able to convince me to do something I didn't want to?" Cupping his cheek with her free hand, she kissed him. "I _want_ this. I'm terrified, but—"

His eyes locked with hers, and while the concern was still there, it was dwarfed by other things: excitement, love, _longing_. At fifteen-years-old, she had been both frightened and intrigued by that look, afraid of the unknown that came with realizing that she might want to be wanted by a handsome boy. Somewhere along the way, that boy became a man, and the unknown had long since disappeared, but some of the initial butterflies remained, as if part of her had never left that darkened apartment eight years ago, still working up the courage to cross the edge of understanding. She wondered how, after all this time, she still managed to be afraid ( _I want this_ , she had said, though her choice then seemed inconsequential compared to the gravity of her current one). Yet, though they were both so different now, burdened by cares they didn't have then, he never lost the kindness and gentleness that made her want to be brave.

She wondered if she ever made him feel fifteen again, too.

"We'll figure it out," he said, kissing her back and interlocking her hand in his. "Together."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

In the true spirit of a lazy morning, the kiss started off slow, neither in a hurry to get anywhere fast. But, when Kushina's lips moved across his jawline and she gently drug her teeth across the spot she knew he liked, his hands found her hips and pulled her towards him in a way that was decidedly less innocent.

"You know, I did say _after_ the war," she teased.

"But if we don't practice now," said Minato, with faux innocence, pressing kisses on the place on her collarbone he knew _she_ liked. "We might not get it right."

As if the universe was continuously trying to take away any shred of happiness they could gather in this stupid war, someone knocked on the door. Neither one of them moved, hoping it had somehow been a figment of both their imaginations. But, the knock came again.

"I should probably answer it," said Minato.

"Probably," she said.

Minato rolled off the bed, hastily threw on the clothing he had left on the floor the night before, and went to answer it, leaving Kushina to silently plead with the universe to show her some mercy and make it unimportant.

"Message from the Hokage," she heard a voice say. "You're needed on a mission immediately."

 _Damn_ , she thought, her heart sinking. Wordlessly, she got out of bed and briefly entertained the idea of marching right up to the Third's office and telling him off. She wouldn't, of course, because today the world needed him more than she did, but the fantasy almost made her feel better.

"I'll be right there," she heard Minato say, before shutting the door. A moment later, he was back in their bedroom.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking both crestfallen and guilty.

"Not your fault," said Kushina, putting on a smile she didn't really mean. "There will be other days off, you know?"

Nodding, he walked up to her and kissed her one last time, hurriedly, as if it might be the last kiss they ever shared. Part of her hated when he did that, even though she did the same thing—it made the danger seem too real. More than that, though, she hated the part where they had to pull away.

"I love you," he said, kissing her forehead.

"I love you, too," she said, pulling him into a tight hug. "Please, please be safe."

"Always."

* * *

Determined to not let Minato's departure break her spirits, she allowed herself ten minutes to be properly upset before deciding to visit Jiraiya by herself. Knowing that, if he was writing, he probably hadn't eaten, she decided to bring breakfast along with her.

When Jiraiya opened the door, Kushina was immediately hit by the smell of sake, even though it was nine-thirty in the morning. Combined with the distressed look on his face, she figured his writing must have been going poorly. She was glad she brought food, in that case—it usually cheered Jiraiya up.

"Hey," she said, smiling as she raised the basket in her arms. "I brought breakfast. And company, if you're not too busy."

"Breakfast," he repeated, as if he'd never heard of such a thing, opening the door wider to let her inside. "Breakfast is…good?"

He looked over his shoulder as he asked this, and Kushina was worried that he had a woman in the apartment and she had awkwardly interrupted. However, when she stepped inside, she realized that he was talking to Kakashi, who was standing at the sink with a glass in his hand, still as a statue.

"The most important meal of the day, they say," muttered Kakashi.

For some reason, his words seemed to terrify Jiraiya, who looked at her like he'd just received the worst news of his life.

"There's enough for you, too, Kakashi, if you'd like some," said Kushina, unsure of what else to say in the awkwardness of the moment.

"Breakfast is good?" asked Jiraiya again, never taking his eyes off her.

"Breakfast is good," said Kakashi, never taking his eyes off the kitchen counter.

Kushina began to wonder if she had accidentally drifted back to sleep after Minato left and was in the middle of a very strange dream.

"Am I…interrupting something?" asked Kushina slowly.

"No," they said in unison, and that seemed to snap them out of whatever trance they were in.

"Let me take that from you," said Jiraiya, taking the basket it out of her arms and setting it on the counter, before pulling out a chair for her at the table.

"Thanks," she said, taking it.

"I'll make tea," said Kakashi, who still didn't make eye contact with her. "You have…tea?"

"Top shelf on the left." Jiraiya began to unload the basket. "Grab some chopsticks, too, would you? Drawer on the right."

With one hand, Kakashi filled a kettle with water, and with the other, he grabbed three pairs of chopsticks out of the drawer and tossed them to Jiraiya, who caught them with ease. Then, Kakashi put the pot on the stove and created the smallest fireball she'd ever seen over the top of it.

"Is the stove not good enough for you?" asked Jiraiya.

"It boils faster this way."

"If you burn down my kitchen, I'm going to be pissed," said Jiraiya, though he didn't sound too concerned about it.

"Might do you some good," said Kakashi, looking at the counter distastefully where a spot of mold was growing. "Your kitchen's filthy."

"If you'd like to clean it, be my guest," said Jiraiya, placing a pair of chopsticks in front of Kushina and the other two pairs across from her. "But it suits me just fine."

If someone had asked Kushina before she walked into the apartment, she would have sworn that Kakashi and Jiraiya had virtually no contact with one another. She had no idea what was causing the friendly, nearly domestic, scene in front of her.

"Minato got called away?" asked Jiraiya, bringing the food to the table.

Kushina nodded. "He left an hour ago."

"Damn. I would have liked to see him."

"You and me both," said Kushina. "If the Third doesn't give me my husband back soon, I might just kidnap him and be done with it."

"Minato or the Third?" teased Kakashi, acknowledging her for the first time. Where there was usually a stern, sullen look in his eyes, he looked…kind. Happy, even.

"Either would work, I suppose," she said, grinning. "I'm not sure which one Konoha would hate me more for at this point."

"We could always frame someone else," said Jiraiya. "Kakashi, for example."

"Yes, I'm sure everyone would believe that," said Kakashi sarcastically.

"Don't underestimate my ability to frame people," said Jiraiya, before turning back towards Kushina. "How've you been holding up?"

"I've been fine," she said, resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin in her hands. Jiraiya gave her a shrewd look. "I mean, I've been sick to death of mission work, but so is everyone else. Every ninja in this village has been on missions nonstop."

"Not that I'm not grateful," said Jiraiya. "But you look like you should be resting instead of making people breakfast. You look exhausted."

"I needed to talk to someone," she admitted. "If I didn't have a conversation about something other than war I was going to lose my mind."

"Either way," said Jiraiya, sitting down. "You're far too good to me, and you're definitely too good to Kakashi."

"I'd be kinder to the person who's making your tea," said Kakashi. "It would be a shame if, say, wasabi was to accidentally find its way into your cup and I lost the good will to tell you about it."

Kushina grinned and twirled a piece of her hair with her fingers. "I certainly didn't mention this to Minato, because the last thing that man needs is more pressure in his life, but yesterday changed a lot of things, you know? I don't want to jinx it, even though everyone's already talking about it anyway, but things are looking much better for Konoha.

"And maybe it's just desperation, but the war ending _is_ nice to think about, you know? We've fought for so long that it's hard to remember what life was like before. So many people have died…if anything happened to this village…" _I've already lost one village_ , she thought, looking down at her lap, embarrassed that she'd unloaded so much. _I don't know what I'd do if I lost a second one._ "I don't know. Maybe it's stupid to hope."

"I think the war will end soon," said Kakashi, bringing three cups of tea over to the table and sitting down. "You're right. Yesterday _did_ change a lot of things. As weary as Konoha is, the rest of the world can't fight forever either."

When Kushina smiled again, Kakashi gave her the oddest look. There was something there that was warm, close to fondness, which was uncharacteristic enough, but there was something melancholic about the way he looked at her, too. It was as if he was afraid that she might disappear through the floor at any moment, or that she reminded him of someone he once knew.

"You're just full of fortune cookie wisdom, aren't you?" asked Jiraiya, looking at Kakashi.

"Oh, stop bickering, both of you," said Kushina good-naturedly, interrupting before Kakashi could retort. "If you don't shut up and eat, I'm going to give this food away to someone who will appreciate it before it gets cold."

That did the trick, and they both began to eat.

" _God,_ I've missed home cooking," said Jiraiya. "I hope you know, when I'm too old to be useful, I'm moving in with you and Minato and stealing all your food."

"Guess we've got to start preparing a spare room soon, then," said Kushina, grinning, and Jiraiya shot her an exasperated look.

"This _is_ really delicious," agreed Kakashi.

"Would you say…breakfast is good?" asked Kushina, not-so-subtly bringing up whatever the hell happened earlier.

Kakashi and Jiraiya exchanged an unreadable look. "The most important meal of the day, they say," said Kakashi.

"Or week, if you're the one bringing it to us," said Jiraiya.

"I would go as far as to say month."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," she said, waving her chopsticks at them in a faux-threatening manner. "It's not kind to tease a woman's curiosity, particularly if you'd ever like said woman to bring you food again."

"You're cruel," said Jiraiya. He hesitated a moment before continuing. "Kakashi and I are…going on a mission today."

That was an odd. "Just the two of you? Did something happen?"

"Nothing's wrong," said Kakashi quickly, as if the last thing he wanted to do was make her worry.

"No," concurred Jiraiya, in the same manor. "It's just, you know, as good of a student as Minato was, he turned out to be kind of shitty at the whole 'spy' thing, and I need at least one person that I'm mildly confident could take over for me when I'm too old and living in your spare bedroom. So, Kakashi and I are having a test run."

"When did this happen?"

"This morning," said Kakashi. "He showed up out of the blue and asked me if I wanted to go on a mission to find out how good I was at gathering information."

"And you just accepted instantly?" asked Kushina, finding the impulsivity completely out of character for Kakashi.

"I like a good challenge," he said, shrugging. "Besides, it's always good to learn new things."

Looking at him with a frown, Kushina knew that the two of them were undoubtedly hiding something. If she had to take a guess, Kakashi's personality change, Kakashi and Jiraiya acting like good friends even though they'd never spent more than five minutes talking to one another, and their sudden desire to go on a mission together to gather intel were connected.

Had Kakashi found out about something secret? It could explain his shift in mood, depending on what he found, and Jiraiya's interest in making him his successor. However, it still didn't explain why they had gone from exceedingly uncomfortable that she was even there to treating her like they were her doting, bickering dads.

Either way, if it related to some top-secret mission, she had no business asking any further questions. Plus, though she didn't like to admit it, it was nice to be cherished a little, even if it was by the two most unlikely people she could have imagined would ever get along.

"You still look pretty injured," she said to Kakashi. "Are you going to be okay to leave today?"

"He'll be fine," said Jiraiya, waiving it off. "If he can't push through a couple of injuries, he's not fit to be my replacement anyway."

"Don't you get him killed."

Jiraiya snorted and rolled his eyes, and Kakashi looked amused, making Kushina feel like she had missed a bizarre inside joke.

Minato was right—this was weird. The Kakashi sitting in front of her was a stranger compared to the Kakashi she knew before. Like he said, it wasn't _bad_. He was in a better mood than she had ever seen him and ten times more personable. Talking to him felt less like talking to one of Minato's students and felt far more like talking to someone like Jiraiya; after all, he'd been the one to console _her_. It was apparently infectious, too, because Jiraiya seemed less depressed than when she last saw him.

It wasn't bad.

It was just so, so weird.

"I should go," said Kushina, though she found herself not wanting to. As strange as this whole dynamic was, it was nice to be around. "You guys will want a good start before the sun sets to…wherever you're going."

"Thanks again for the breakfast," said Jiraiya.

"Yeah, breakfast was good," said Kakashi, cracking a smile.

If someone had asked Kushina before she came to the apartment, Kakashi would have been at the bottom of her 'people who could make her feel hope again' list. However, having lived through a lot, she was never one to be surprised when things didn't always go the way she thought they would. Life was strange and so was Kakashi, apparently, and she left the apartment with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.

Of course, she didn't even know the half of it. But, more on that later.

(The Final Nail in the Coffin)

Though it wasn't even noon, it was already one of the longest days of Jiraiya's life. Between struggling to write his novel, Kakashi telling him that he was from the future, going to the lab and finding Tenzō, believing that Kakashi was from the future, and having a late, awkward breakfast with Kushina, Jiraiya felt like he could easily pass out and sleep for three days.

Walking into the Third's office, he did his best to compose any remnants of a crisis off his face. His old sensei, for whatever reason, couldn't know that something was amiss. Though he didn't completely trust Kakashi yet, it was still a good idea to go along with the things he said until Jiraiya heard the full story, lest he mess up something that was objectively important.

"Jiraiya," greeted the Third, and Jiraiya politely bowed his head. "You're leaving again, I assume?"

"Got something I want to look into," confirmed Jiraiya. "Don't know how long I'll be gone."

"As usual, then," he said, with a faint smile.

The two sat in a strained silence for a few moments.. "I—" began Jiraiya, at the same time the Third started to say, "There's—," and the silence resumed.

"You first," said Jiraiya.

"There's something I want to talk to you about," said the Third, folding his hands on his desk. "To ask you, before you leave."

"I'm listening."

"After the war, I'm planning on retiring."

 _Shit_.

"I know what you're going to ask," said Jiraiya. "The answer is no."

"Jiraiya," said the Third sternly, giving Jiraiya flashbacks to his genin days. He was having too many of those today. "You would make an excellent Hokage."

Jiraiya nearly laughed. Everything he did ended in failure one way or another, with the one exception of training students (half of them were killed violently during missions, though, so even that was hit or miss). If the team Kakashi was looking to put together didn't implode on itself within the month, it would be a miracle.

"I assure you, I wouldn't."

"You don't give yourself enough credit."

"What have I ever done that warrants credit?"

"You trained Minato Namikaze," said the Third.

"Then, you should make _him_ Hokage," said Jiraiya. If Kakashi was right, that was going to be his choice regardless. "The people of Konoha love him. He'd do a good job."

"He's a bit young," said the Third.

"He's leading your army," said Jiraiya, leaning against the door. "He's kept a whole genin team alive for four years, which is better than I did. Sure, he's inexperienced with politics and administration, but he's level-headed and charismatic as hell, and as long as you aren't planning to off yourself after the war ends, you'll be there to show him the ropes."

He looked like he wanted to argue, and Jiraiya braced himself for it, but the Third didn't push it. "What was it you wanted to ask me?"

"Speaking of Minato, coincidentally," said Jiraiya. "Since you and I both know he's the ticket to winning this war, I think you should…retire him as a jōnin sensei, so the war becomes his full focus."

"You think that they're distracting him?"

"I think they could," said Jiraiya. "And I think they eat up a lot of his time. If I were you, I wouldn't gamble the lives of the people in Konoha on it."

"You know him better than I do," said the Third. "But he's not going to like it."

"He doesn't have to like it."

Standing, the Third turned away from Jiraiya and walked over to his window, looking out over the city. Jiraiya wanted to say something to break the tense air in the room, but conversations with the Third had been ceaselessly tense for a long time. Though the deterioration of their relationship had a clear beginning, it hadn't been instantaneous. It was more like an untreated wound, festering in both of them until they argued more than they talked and until they just stopped talking altogether because they were tired of arguing. Somewhere along the way, he became "the Third" in Jiraiya's head instead of "Hiruzen-sensei."

Because when _she_ abandoned the village, the Third lost the only daughter he'd ever had, and Jiraiya lost the love of his life, no matter how unrequited that love remained, and both were looking for someone to take it out on.

"Do you still blame me for Tsunade leaving?" asked Jiraiya.

"Does it matter?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the village. "I doubt you would argue against the fact that we've had bigger failures since."

"I wouldn't," agreed Jiraiya.

Jiraiya wanted to tell him that he was going to find her, to convince her to come back to the village, because there was still some fucked up part of him that wanted approval from the Third. Though Jiraiya was at the bottom of his 'favorite students' list, the Third was still the closest thing to a father he'd ever had.

With Danzō's treachery on his mind, however, he held his tongue.

"Obito and Rin will be difficult to place," said the Third, sitting back down as if nothing happened. "Neither one are ready to be a part of a non-training team."

"I agree," said Jiraiya. "Which is why I think you should keep them in the village until the war is over. Put Rin to work in the hospital and Obito to work at the academy. Both would be good at it, and it would let more experienced chūnin focus on the war efforts."

"I suppose that would work," said the Third. "Kakashi will be much easier to stick somewhere. ANBU would be a good fit for him."

"Actually, I want to take Kakashi with me." The Third raised his eyebrows. "Of all my students, none of them turned out to be good at the whole 'spy' thing. As well as Minato turned out, I need a proper successor, and I think Kakashi could have what it takes."

"Have you discussed this with him?"

"I asked him if he'd be interested," said Jiraiya, shrugging. "He was."

"When will you leave?"

"Immediately."

 _Well, once I go to the morgue, that is._

"Very well." Jiraiya bowed his head once more and turned to leave, but the Third stopped him. "Before you go—" There was an odd look on his face, and if Jiraiya didn't know better, he would say it was fear. "—have you talked to Orochimaru lately?"

"No," said Jiraiya slowly, confused as to where the question had come from. "Why—"

 _Someone, unbeknownst to the Third Hokage, continued these experiments in secret in a lab just outside of Konoha._

 _There was only one reason Kakashi might leave that person nameless…he wanted to avoid Jiraiya starting a conflict with whomever was behind it._

Kakashi had been quick enough to let on that the other conspirator was Danzō, knowing that, without explicitly giving a name, Jiraiya had no grounds to even think about doing anything. However, he still left the identity of the lab owner a mystery.

 _Some of the doors were cracked open and they could see vast collections of dried-up vials and chemical stains…sixty human-sized test tubes were in six lines along the length of the hall…_

He had to have an vast knowledge of chemistry.

 _One of them survived..._

And medicine.

 _He's not the owner, no, but they are connected. Like I said, he likes to meddle._

And was powerful enough to be noticed and trusted by Danzō.

 _The other is Tsunade_.

Kakashi trusted Jiraiya and Tsunade more than anyone else on the planet. Only the two of them, even though they traditionally ran in a group of three.

"Jiraiya, is something wrong?" asked the Third.

"No," said Jiraiya, lying easily. "I was just trying to remember the last time I talked to him, but I can't even recall. Is something wrong with him?"

"No," said the Third just as easily, though Jiraiya he knew he was lying. After a question like that, how could he not be? How much did the Third know? "I just haven't seen him in awhile."

"Then, I'll be off," said Jiraiya, forcing a smile. "Take care."

 _Motherfucker,_ thought Jiraiya, as he walked out of the Third's office, not sure if he was talking about Orochimaru, the Third, Kakashi, or all three.

(Tsunade's and Jiraiya's Beginning. _Kind of._ ft. Thirty-One Years Ago)

Tsunade was losing, as usual.

"You know," said Jiraiya, giving her back his cards as Orochimaru collected the small amount of money they had put in the middle as a wager. "For having played a lot, you really suck."

"One more game," she said, shuffling. "I bet you double I win this time."

"Deal."

Their disruptiveness was earning them some dirty looks from the large group of people surrounding them, everyone already bothered by the fact that someone had let three six-year-olds enter the chūnin exams in the first place. However, Team Hiruzen didn't care. They were each obnoxiously cocky in their own way and confident that they had what it took to pass, so their competition getting irritated by their presence brought them a twisted sense of joy.

"I'm taking them out first," mumbled a much older genin to their right.

Smiling, Tsunade dealt them a new hand. _Bring it on_ , she thought.

"Why are we doing this?" asked Orochimaru, frowning as he looked at his cards.

"Because I'm bored," said Tsunade. "And my granddad said gambling is an important life lesson."

"This is stupid," said Orochimaru, but he didn't put his cards down.

They each drew and discarded one more time and then placed their hands face-up on the ground. Jiraiya triumphantly fist bumped the air.

"Hah!" said Jiraiya to Tsunade, gathering the larger wager and putting it in his pockets. "You lost three times in a row."

She glared at him. "Shut up, Jiraiya."

"I don't know if your grandfather told you this," said an older boy, at least nine-year-old, coming up to the three of them and crouching down to see what they were doing. "But the whole point of gambling is to win."

Tsunade moved her glare over to the boy, but he was smiling, and it was clear that he didn't mean it unkindly.

"Want to learn?" asked Jiraiya, deciding that anyone who could cause Tsunade to glare at him less was a friend.

"Sure," said the boy, looking at Tsunade. "If it's alright with the gamemaster, of course."

Tsunade rolled her eyes at the intrusion, but she moved farther apart to allow the new boy to join the circle.

"I'm Sakumo, by the way," he said, smiling again. "Sakumo Hatake."

"I'm Jiraiya," he said, smiling as well, always glad to make a new friend.

"Orochimaru," he mumbled, never glad to make a new friend.

"I'm Tsunade," she said, always glad for people to find out who she was. "You got any money on you?"

Sakumo dug through his pockets and pulled out an energy bar. "I have this."

"Deal," said Jiraiya, before Tsunade could object. "I'm starving."

"You've got to win it off me, first," he said, placing it in the middle, before turning to Tsunade. "You know, if you don't stop playing for money, you're going to drive yourself into debt."

"I'll win one day," said Tsunade, determined fire in her eyes. "Just you wait."

(The Real Beginning Pt. 2)

Tsunade was losing, as usual.

"God damn it," she said, pushing her chips over to the dealer. "One more round."

"I don't know if your grandfather told you this," said a voice behind her. "But the whole point of gambling is to win."

She turned to see a silver-haired boy come up to the table and sit down. For a moment, she thought someone had managed to slip something in her drink, and she was hallucinating that a young Sakumo was coming to gamble with her. But, she realized that he was wearing a mask and that the face wasn't _quite_ the same, and that the newcomer was instead his son.

"Kakashi Hatake," she greeted, turning her eyes back to the dealer. "You barely came up to my knee the last time I saw you."

"You haven't aged a day," he said.

"You in?" asked the dealer to Kakashi, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure," said Kakashi, throwing some chips on the table.

She had a feeling that this meeting wasn't by chance, and that, for some reason, he had been sent to find her. But, she didn't sweat it. She could escape a thirteen-year-old.

"Blast from the past, huh?" asked a familiar voice behind her, filling her with dread. He would be much more difficult to shake off. "If we had Orochimaru, this would be the chūnin exams all over again."

"What are _you_ doing here?" she asked, not looking at him as he sat on the other side of her.

"C'mon, what kind of greeting is that?" asked Jiraiya.

"Are you in, too, sir?" asked the dealer.

Nodding, Jiraiya put his chips on the table, and the dealer began to distribute the cards.

"Look," said Tsunade, growing irritated and looking for the best way to escape. She knew where the emergency exit was in the back, but Kakashi and Jiraiya had her flanked. Unless she was looking to start a brawl in the casino, which would raise her debt significantly due to damages, she had to stay put. "Whatever reason the Third sent you here, you can tell him to fuck off."

"Glad to see you're as pleasant as ever," said Jiraiya.

"Jiraiya," warned Kakashi, evidently to get him back on track.

"We're not here because of the Third," said Jiraiya, examining his cards carefully. "We're here because destiny screwed Kakashi over, and Kakashi decided to screw _me_ over by bringing me into it."

"And how is that my problem?" asked Tsunade, looking at Jiraiya for the first time.

"You could make the argument that it's everyone's problem." What the hell did that mean? "Also," he said, lowering his voice so the dealer couldn't hear. "I have a kid in a coma in this workout bag and we can't wake him up."

"You have a _what_?" asked Tsunade, looking down at the bag at his feet in alarm.

"Shhh," said Jiraiya. "You don't have to tell the whole damn casino."

"I'm _retired,_ Jiraiya. Take him to the hospital."

"What a simple solution," said Jiraiya sarcastically. "If only I had thought of that before spending all this time tracking you down."

"The hospital couldn't wake him up?"

"No, we just…can't take him there."

"Please," said the dealer, interrupting their conversation. "It's time to put down your cards."

They did as he asked, and Kakashi was declared the winner. Shrugging, he pushed his chips over to Tsunade.

"Keep them," he said.

It was a weird gesture, but Tsunade was never one to deny money. "What are you two trying to drag me into?"

"Just take a look at the kid," said Jiraiya. "I don't know anything about caring for coma patients, so if you don't, he's probably going to die."

Though she had put medicine behind her, she really didn't want a dead kid on her conscience. Besides, it would also be a good teaching opportunity for Shizune. Rolling her eyes, she lead the two of them— _well_ , three of them—back to her hotel room.

* * *

Jiraiya genuinely thought he had gotten over Tsunade. He hadn't seen her in years, and he had dated plenty of women since her departure who he was fond of at the time. Tsunade was just a dream, a beautiful ideal (after all, he was a writer and therefore romantic by nature), one that shattered when she left.

He was wrong. He was _so_ wrong.

Seeing her again, even though she was curt and wanted nothing to do with him, brought back every feeling that he thought he had buried.

 _So, what?_ he thought, as they walked into Tsunade's hotel room. _You've been in love with Tsunade for over thirty years. Your life can just carry on as normal._

"Jiraiya!" said Shizune, hopping off her bed to hug him. "What are you doing here?"

"Just have some business," he said, patting her fondly on the back. Even though she was Dan's niece, he saw a lot of her between the time Dan died and Tsunade left, due to the latter adopting her, and he bore her no ill will because of her familial affiliation. "Damn, you're not so little anymore."

"Just turned thirteen," she said, smiling.

Shizune turned to Kakashi, probably to inquire about his identity, but Tsunade, putting the bag on the bed and taking Tenzō out of it, interrupted before she could. "Shizune, I need you to help me with something."

"Who is that?" she asked, eyes wide as she went over to Tsunade.

"That's a good question," said Tsunade, giving a pointed look to Jiraiya. "Today, you're going to learn how to take care of a coma patient. Hand me a flashlight."

Nodding, Shizune went over to a bag in the corner of the room, dug out a flashlight, and handed it to Tsunade. Manually opening Tenzō's eyes, she shined the flashlight in each to examine them and began to take all his other vital signs.

"What happened to him?" asked Tsunade.

Kakashi nodded his head towards Jiraiya, wanting him to do the talking.

"He was the victim of genetic experimentation," said Jiraiya. Tsunade looked at him incredulously. "We didn't do it. We just found him."

"Found him _where_?"

"In a lab outside the village. Someone—" _Orochimaru_ , said the evil voice inside his head, but he ignored it for his own sanity. "—has been kidnapping kids and playing with their DNA."

"That's awful," said Shizune, gently brushing Tenzō's hair out of his eyes.

As Tsunade looked over Tenzō, Jiraiya could see the wheels turning in her head. Pausing her examination, she pulled some money out of her pockets and tossed it to Shizune.

"Go get a snack," said Tsunade. "Lesson will resume later."

Surprisingly socially aware for a thirteen-year-old, Shizune asked, "How… _long_ …should I take to get a snack?"

"Give us twenty minutes."

Shizune gave Jiraiya one last smile before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her. Her lips pressed into a tight frown, Tsunade moved Tenzō's limbs into a less awkward position and sat crisscross on the other bed.

"Okay," said Tsunade. "Explain."

Neither Kakashi or Jiraiya spoke, each looking at one another with a look that said, "you take it from here."

"It's your thing, man," said Jiraiya.

"I know," said Kakashi, and then he turned to Tsunade. "This is going to sound crazy."

"This is already crazy."

Once again, Kakashi's unreadable façade was planted firmly on his face. Jiraiya was starting to think it was more of a coping mechanism that a strategic move. "I'm here to ask for your help."

"With more than Tenzō?" Kakashi nodded. "As I've already said, I'm retired. I have no interest in changing that."

"The stakes have changed. There's…a lot that's about to happen, and it's in everyone's best interest if we prevent it. Yours included, even if you stay in retirement."

"Stop talking in circles," she said sharply. "What the hell is going on?"

Kakashi took a deep breath. "I'm actually a thirty-seven-year-old man who, through reasons out of my control, traveled back in time to my thirteen-year-old body. In the next eighteen years, a lot of people are going to die in preventable ways, including Shizune, at one point, and at the end of those eighteen years, there's going to be a war worse than any of us have ever seen in our lifetime. I'm trying to prevent a lot of that, and I'm recruiting you and Jiraiya to listen to the story of what happens in the future and help me, if you're willing."

Her mouth falling open, Tsunade sat dumbstruck for a few moments before standing up. "What the _fuck_?"

"I know it sounds insane," said Jiraiya. "But he's telling the truth."

"You're both insane," said Tsunade, looking back and forth between them before looking off to the side. "I cannot believe I agree to help you. Sorry about the kid, but I'm out of here."

"Wait," said Kakashi. "If you listen to what I have to say—not even doing anything about it, just listening—I'll pay back all the debt you owe in this town."

Both Tsunade and Jiraiya raised their eyebrows. "Do you even have that kind of money?" asked Jiraiya.

"It would be nearly all of my life's savings."

"And whatever you have to tell me about the future," said Tsunade slowly. "Is so important that you're willing to blow all your savings on it?"

"Yes."

"This is so—" Tsunade placed her head in her hands and took a deep breath. "Whatever. I can sit through a story for some money."

Truthfully, that was easier than Jiraiya thought it would be. Though, he didn't think that Kakashi was going to give her all his money and pull out the "Shizune is going to die" card either.

"When Shizune gets back, we should leave her in here to take care of Tenzō and go to our hotel room," said Kakashi. "It's not a story she should hear."

(Taste of Hell)

"—so," said Kakashi, standing up off the floor a couple of hours later. "Just as the crystal drained all my chakra, I woke up twenty-four years in the past.

"And that's all," he finished awkwardly.

"That's all," repeated Jiraiya, almost numb from how much his brain hurt.

Jiraiya was a smart man who liked gathering information, but that was more than he ever could have imagined. If Sage Mode was enlightenment, this was its evil twin. Sure, it was enlightenment, but at what cost?

Tsunade sat unmoving on Kakashi's bed, her eyes glazed over like her consciousness had ascended to another plane.

"Any questions?" asked Kakashi.

He looked almost as messed up as they were, and Jiraiya could understand why. Reliving that had to be hell, particularly since it sounded like Kakashi had PTSD, despite his attempts to downplay it in his retelling. Even his expert poker face slipped a few times, and there were several moments he had to pause, as if the memories felt a little too real.

Both Jiraiya and Tsunade shook their heads silently.

"Then, I'm going to go check on Tenzō," he said, and Jiraiya wasn't sure if he was leaving for their benefit or his. Either way, he appreciated it, because he needed a break from Kakashi for a while. Sitting on his bed and forgetting about the outside world and anyone in it, if only a few hours, sounded very appealing.

Once Kakashi was gone, Tsunade seemed to slowly regain awareness of her existence. She looked down at her hands, opening and closing her fingers as if she had forgotten how movement worked. Then, she looked over at Jiraiya.

"Fuck you," she said.

"What the hell did I do?" asked Jiraiya, surprised by the sudden outburst.

"You brought him here," she said angrily. "You bought into this shit. You—"

"Look, I didn't know what he was going to tell us."

"But you believe him, don't you?"

"Maybe I do," said Jiraiya defensively. "He was right about the lab, he was right about the Third retiring, and even though that story was batshit crazy, there was _way_ too much detail for it to be something he just made up one day."

"He's taking _advantage_ of you," said Tsunade, standing up. "You've always been so quick to believe in some… _grand destiny_. That all of this actually has some meaning to it. It's how you got roped into your stupid prophecy, and it's how Kakashi is roping you into some wild goose chase."

"You used to believe in things, too," said Jiraiya, standing as well. "There was a time when you actually gave a damn about something."

"And look where that got me."

"You're not the only one who's lost people," said Jiraiya. He was quickly losing her patience with her, lacking the emotional energy to keep calm. "You're not here because of your circumstances. You're here because you gave up. Ten years ago you were the best medical ninja in the world, and now—"

"I'm perfectly happy where I am."

"Really? Because, you seem depressed to me."

Her expression darkened, and for a moment, he was worried she was going to attack him. "Jiraiya, at some point, you're going to have to accept that we all turned out to be fuck-ups. You are, I am, Orochimaru _clearly_ is." She paused for a moment, as if the implications of everything were really starting to hit her. Luckily, she didn't elaborate, because Jiraiya was not ready to let his friend's betrayal sink in. "We never lived up to be the _great Sannin_ everyone thought we were going to be.

"The whole reason you want to go along with what Kakashi is saying is because you are _so desperate_ to try and be something better than you are. And, let's be honest, the only reason you like him is because he looks and acts like your dead best friend, and this is some fucked up attempt on your part to replace him."

"Maybe we are fuck-ups," said Jiraiya. "But you're not the person I thought you were if you're content to just stop trying."

Rationally, he should have just walked away. She was a grown woman who could deal with her own emotional issues, and he hadn't even seen her in years. He owed her nothing, and he certainly didn't deserve to get attacked over something that was Kakashi's doing.

And yet, the entire time she'd been gone, he kept tabs on her whereabouts, just to make sure she was alright. He wanted her to be better, to see she could get better, because even though she trapped herself in a self-destructive spiral, he knew what she was capable of. There was a time when he thought the world of her, and even now, he knew there was still something good inside of her. There _had_ to be.

Because he loved her, and he _hated_ it.

"Even if I wanted to do something about it," she said. "How is this the answer? If the past three hours have taught us anything, it's that Kakashi is just as big of a fuck-up as we are. Assembling some specialized team of the biggest fuck-ups on the planet isn't going to do any good for anyone."

"So you do believe him?" asked Jiraiya.

"I didn't say that," said Tsunade quickly.

"If you didn't, you'd leave without a second thought," said Jiraiya, smiling mercilessly. "But I think you do believe him. You're defensive because you're scared that part of you still gives a damn."

"Unlike you, I'm not a fool."

"No, you've never been a fool. Just a coward." Before she could say anything else, he continued, "Go or don't go, but your weird denial of the fact that you still have a conscience isn't my problem."

 _Walk away_ , he told himself, tearing himself from the situation. He managed to get out of the room just in time to dodge a lamp she'd thrown at his head, and he could hear the glass shatter against the wall as he shut the door.

(Birds of a Feather)

Kakashi wasn't sure how much time had passed by the time Tsunade came back to her hotel room. It might have been minutes, it might have been hours. Collapsed on one of the beds, he lost track of the outside world altogether, trapped in memories of the past. Bringing it all back like that tore open wounds that he thought he'd closed and made the realization of everything he left behind all too real.

 _Where are you guys?_ he thought about Team Seven, over and over again, and he couldn't make it stop. _What have I done to you?_

"Where's Shizune?" asked Tsunade, and Kakashi could tell she had been drinking, not that he could blame her.

"I told her I'd watch him," he said, sitting up and gesturing towards Tenzō. "She said something about getting dinner and looking around."

Tsunade nodded distractedly and gave Tenzō another look over. "Look, I'll stay long enough to fix the kid, and then I'm out. Forget about my debt and go back to Konoha or wherever it is you two are planning to go. You wasted your time."

"A promise is a promise," said Kakashi. "I'll still pay."

"I'm not worth wasting your life savings on."

"Whether or not you believe it," said Kakashi. "You _were_ a friend. Trust me, if you feel so inclined to pay off your own debt, you'll have plenty more in the future."

Carefully, she moved Tenzō over and sat next to him. "How are you so calm about this?" asked Tsunade.

"I'm not," admitted Kakashi. _Where are you guys?_ "I lost the three people I care about most all in one go, I'm a grown man stuck in a teenager's body, and I'm about to dedicate my entire life to fixing…everything."

"But you're going to do it anyway," said Tsunade. "Don't you think you've paid enough penance?"

"That's the thing about penance," said Kakashi quietly. "You can never really stop paying."

She said nothing, but he knew what was running through her mind. They were alike in that way, and he went back and forth about whether or not he should say anything, his discomfort about opening up ever on his mind. However, she _was_ a friend, and the last time he ignored someone's PTSD, Sakura became an addict, which was a guilt he would carry forever.

Guilt always seemed to win over him, one way or another.

"I know what it's like," he said. "For you to dream every night about them dying, to see them in everything you do. To blame yourself over and over again, because you can't shake off the memories, and it takes control of your life, because it never goes away." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "But, it gets better, if you let it."

Turning away from him, she brought her knees to her chest, and a few tears managed to escape from her eyes. She wiped them away with a quick "God damn it," and he respectfully averted his gaze until she could compose herself.

"Is that why we were friends in your other life?" she asked. "Because we understood each other?"

"Probably," he said. "That, and we cared about similar people. We used to joke that the words 'it's about Sakura' could make either of us do just about anything."

"She sounds like the perfect student for me," she said. "I mean, she's a little more boy-crazy than I'd like her to be, but everyone's got their faults. I'm just glad there's someone who can learn the—" She pointed at the seal on her forehead.

 _Where are you guys? What have I done to you?_

"Here," said Tsunade, taking off her necklace and handing it to him. "Take it."

"What?" he asked, taken aback.

"If you're lying, the curse will kill you, I'll get the necklace back, and most importantly, I'll be free of this shit," said Tsunade. "If you're telling the truth, then there's no consequence."

"You're drunk."

"Not nearly drunk enough," said Tsunade. "You scared that it's not in your destiny to become Hokage?"

"No," said Kakashi, and he finally found it in himself to smile. "Scared that it is."

"Take it," she said again, waving it in front of his face.

There was admittedly some hesitation in him, neither sure that he wanted to take the risk of horrible and imminent death nor the confirmation that being Hokage was his destiny. However, it was important to her for reasons he didn't understand, and if this was the key to getting her on his side, so be it. He took the necklace from her and fastened it around his neck.

"I've got the kid," she said, looking back to Tenzō. "Go…just go away."

"You know where to find me, if you change your mind," he said, standing up.

"Wait, before you go." She didn't look at him as she said this, as if she was almost too afraid to ask. "What is death like?"

He thought for a moment. "Peaceful."

 _Where are you guys? What have I done to you?_

* * *

Shizune came back to the hotel shortly after nine, and Tsunade was glad she decided against doing shots after Kakashi left, because she wanted to be sober for the conversation they were about to have. At least, mostly sober.

"How is he?" asked Shizune, immediately rushing towards Tenzō's side.

"Drifting in and out of consciousness," said Tsunade. "He'll be fine."

"Good," she said, smiling, before she looked up at Tsunade and grew concerned. Even though she wasn't drunk anymore, Tsunade wouldn't be surprised if she still looked rough. "What's wrong, Lady Tsunade?"

"Sit down," said Tsunade, thinking of what she was going to say. "I want to talk to you about something."

 _I think you do believe him. You're defensive because you're scared that part of you still gives a damn._

"What is it?" asked Shizune, sitting on the edge of her bed.

Memories of Nawaki's mangled body and Dan bleeding out flashed in her mind, and they made her shutter and close her eyes. Fighting back nausea and the urge to flee, she thought, _I can't do this_.

However, there were new images along with them, not memories, by true events all the same. She imagined Shizune buried under a pile of rubble, her body broken and lifeless; she imaged burying Jiraiya, even her bet on his life unable to save him; she imagined standing in front of thousands of dead bodies on a battlefield, the armies under her orders slaughtered.

 _That's the thing about penance. You can never really stop paying._

"How would you feel if we didn't do—" Tsunade gestured aimlessly around her. "— _this_ anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"If we went back to the village?"

Shizune's eyes lit up. "Are we going home?"

 _I know what it's like. But, it gets better, if you let it._

"Potentially," said Tsunade. "I haven't decided, yet."

"I mean," said Shizune, shrugging, reigning in her emotions and trying to play it cool. "It's whatever you want to do."

"Would it make you happy?"

"Would it make _you_ happy?" asked Shizune.

"I'm not asking about me."

 _You look depressed to me._

"It's—" began Shizune, before looking down at the ground in embarrassment. "—I mean—"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know," said Tsunade.

"Yes," said Shizune sheepishly. "I'd like to go home."

 _I think you do believe him. You're defensive because you're scared that part of you still gives a damn._

 _Fuck._

(No—Nothing Like Hell)

After processing Kakashi's story, Jiraiya came to a few conclusions.

He was now certain, unless Kakashi was the greatest mastermind of all time, that he was telling the truth about time traveling. He was slightly less certain, but still pretty confident, that Kakashi was telling the truth about what happened in the future.

If Kakashi's chain of events was to be believed, they needed to act fast. Kakashi was right that the first year was going to be crucial, and he was glad he didn't give the Third a timeframe on when they would be back, because they probably needed to do _something_ now while they had the time.

Also, he couldn't believe that he'd never thought about writing romance novels before. It was such an obvious niche for him. His novels would be _famous_.

He was not ready to think about Orochimaru, yet, nor the absurdity of the Fourth Ninja World War. So, he didn't, because they thankfully had bigger things to worry about for now.

He was not going to allow Minato and Kushina to die, but he was trying not to think about that either. It was over a year away and thinking about their dead bodies laying beside their son, bloody and torn apart by the Nine-Tailed Fox, was not doing him any good.

And their _son_. His godson. His Prophecy Child. A boy who started out much like him, orphaned and outcast by society, with too much energy and a knack for getting into trouble, but he was good, far too good for what people deserved, and he rose up and saved the world. The boy who would perfect Sage Mode into something more powerful than Jiraiya could ever dream, who would take on his summoning animal, who was named after a character in his book.

Minato and Kushina thought he was good enough to make him their son's godfather.

They could fix everything.

"I'm in," said Jiraiya, when Kakashi came back to the hotel room, far after the sun had set. "It's crazy, but I'm in."

"Thank you," said Kakashi, sighing in relief.

Before he could say anything else, Jiraiya caught sight of Tsunade's necklace. "What the hell did you say to her?" asked Jiraiya, pointing at it.

"Not much," said Kakashi. "I think she's hoping it will kill me."

"Did she at least look less pissed?" Kakashi gave him a confused look. "We might have had a screaming match. She's the one who broke our lamp, via attempting to throw it at my head."

"Then, yes," said Kakashi. "She looked much better than that. She was drunk, which probably helped."

Jiraiya laughed. "You think she'll say yes?"

"I have no idea," said Kakashi. "You know as well as I do that no one can make Tsunade do anything she doesn't want to."

"Ain't that the truth." Part of Jiraiya didn't want to be more invasive than he already had been, but there was a question burning in his mind, had been burning since Kakashi's story, and curiosity had a tendency to win over him. "Hey, Kakashi. What's death like?"

For some reason, he smiled. "Peaceful."

* * *

Standing in front of Kakashi's and Jiraiya's hotel room, Tsunade fought the urge to flee. Or, maybe fleeing was the smart thing to do, and she was fighting the urge not to. Once she stepped through that door, she had to make a decision, and even though she'd had a night to think about it, the two sides of herself were still at war.

 _I can't believe I'm doing this_ , she thought, but the memory of Jiraiya calling her a coward angered her enough to knock on the door.

"Hey," said Kakashi, letting her inside.

"Hey," said Tsunade, as he closed the door behind her. "Tenzō's going to be fine. He's sleeping, at the moment, but in a non-coma way. He'll be weak for a while, but he shouldn't have any lasting problems."

"Thank you," said Kakashi.

An awkward silence fell over the room, all of them, including Tsunade, waiting for her to say something.

 _Coward_.

"I'm not going to apologize to you," said Tsunade, looking at Jiraiya.

"Nor will I," he said.

"I still mean most of the things I said."

"As do I."

She paused, taking a leap of faith that Kakashi was right, and that life did get better if you let it. "But I am in."

Both Kakashi and Jiraiya smiled. "Welcome to the specialized team of the biggest fuck-ups on the planet," said Jiraiya.

"That's a bit of a long name," joked Kakashi.

"You're right," said Jiraiya, pretending to contemplate it. "It's better as a tagline."

Tsunade rolled her eyes at their ridiculousness. "So, what are we doing?"

"We haven't decided, yet," said Kakashi. "I put forward that we deal with Danzō as soon as possible."

"We can't expose him," said Jiraiya. "If we reveal that Konoha's most significant elder has been repeatedly committing acts of treason, the people are going to freak out and Konoha's government is going to collapse, and we can't do that right after a war. _Someone_ will take advantage of that."

"I agree," said Kakashi. "Which is why we should kill him and blame it on someone else."

"Who are you planning on framing?" asking Tsunade, raising an eyebrow.

"The easiest time to take out Danzō," said Kakashi. "Is waiting until he goes to lure the Akatsuki into Hanzō's trap. We trap him in his own trap and kill him. Danzō's a good ninja, but between us and the Akatsuki, he doesn't stand a chance. From there, we can blame Hanzō. The 'Danzō' problem is solved, and the Akatsuki never turn bad."

"Hanzō's going to do his best to object to that," said Jiraiya. "But it would be our word against his, and Konoha isn't exactly fond of Hanzō. When did the trap happen last time?"

"This January," said Kakashi.

"I see the need to not tell the Third about this," said Jiraiya. "Considering that last time, he _knew_ about Danzō's repeated acts of treason and didn't feel the need to do anything about it. But, killing an elder is a significant crime, and if we go behind the Hokage's back on it, it doesn't make us legally any better than Danzō. We're going to need to clue in Minato."

"Is there a downside to having the 'future' conversation with Minato?" asked Tsunade. "I mean, he's smart enough not to do something stupid with the information. As Jiraiya said, it would make everything we do legal."

Kakashi frowned. "The only problem I have," he said. "Is if that information prevents Minato and Kushina, for whatever reason, conceiving Naruto. No matter what happens, Naruto _has_ to be born."

"Kushina's theoretical date of conception is December 10th," said Tsunade. "And Minato will, theoretically, become Hokage around then. So, if we spring it on them right after that…"

"It should be fine," conceded Kakashi. "We'll need to tell Kushina, too. That information is relevant to both of them, and if Naruto ever comes back—"

"That'll be a fun conversation," said Jiraiya. "Hey, guys, I know you're probably overjoyed that you're going to have a child, so let me just ruin your happiness by telling you about how that child will inevitably cause you both to die horribly, and then he'll suffer relentlessly for the next seventeen years." Jiraiya looked at Kakashi. "We're fixing that, by the way. Someone is going to have to kill me first before they take out Minato and Kushina."

"I feel the same," said Kakashi. "About both points. It's going to be a rough conversation, but—"

"It's better than Danzō running around," agreed Jiraiya.

"About the Akatsuki," said Tsunade. "Are we planning on just showing up in January and asking them to randomly help us take out the ninja who is supposedly offering them peace? Because, I can see that having downsides."

"No, that's a bad idea," said Jiraiya. He thought for a moment. "If we're _extremely_ careful, we could go to the Rain now, spend some time building a relationship with the Akatsuki, and warn them that Hanzō's not planning on playing nice. They're crazy, but it's better if they're our crazies than someone else's."

"Danzō _cannot_ ," said Kakashi. "Under _any_ circumstance, know that we were there, or that something about them has changed."

"Hey," said Jiraiya. "If there's nothing else that the three of us are good at, we're good at being sneaky. I mean, we'll having to reveal our actual identities to the three orphans, mostly because I'm going to be our way in, but if we ask them not to, there's no reason they would tell anyone. We'll just spend the rest of time in disguises."

"We'll also have to lay low when we come back to the village," said Kakashi. "Pretend like we've not been up to anything unusual, up until Danzō makes his move with Hanzō. We can't tip him off that we're onto him, or…anyone else."

The implication that the 'anyone else' referred to Orochimaru was not lost on Tsunade, who was honestly doing her best not to focus on the fact that her former best friend was committing crimes against humanity until it was absolute necessary. Judging from the look on Jiraiya's face, he was doing the same.

"So," said Tsunade awkwardly. "To the Rain, then?"

"To the Rain," said Kakashi. "But, there's something we have to do first."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks so much for sticking around! If you liked it, reviews are love. Reviews are life.

 **Fun Fact of the Chapter:** A lot of the elements of the story involving the Sannin came from a fanfiction Chicken Train planned to write about the life of Jiraiya. Chicken Train loves the Sannin more than just about any other set of fictional characters and they have a way bigger role in the story than initially anticipated because she begged for them to be there. On a similar note, this chapter is so unlike our original vision for chapter two that it's hard to believe they are both sequels to the first chapter.

The first 87 drafts of the lab scene _sucked_ -Chicken Train.

 _Thanks_ -Laser Beam, who wrote all 88 drafts of the lab scene.


	3. Blame it on War and Peace

**A/N:** Eyyy, seven months! We're getting faster! We really are going to try and get faster in publishing these than once a year, because if we don't, we're going to die of old age before we can finish this lol. Our apologies for both the wait and the length.

Thank you so, so much to everyone who reviewed. We cherish them, just, so much. Genuinely, we still talk about some of them, including some posted to the first chapter back in 2016.

Note—this chapter was supposed to have another chunk at the end of it, but that chunk ended up being 20,000 words. Due to the nature of both this chapter as is and that chunk, it stopped flowing properly, so we had to move it to next chapter. We're having to do some reworking. The good news is, next chapter will probably come out a lot faster than this one because we already have a good chunk written (and, truthfully, we didn't have time to start writing this chapter until the beginning of August).

Content warnings for this chapter, so prepare yourself accordingly: Traumatized people actually having to deal with their trauma instead of being magically cured, which means mentions of PTSD, displaying of symptoms, and talk about recovery. Also, a Vine reference.

 **Previously, on Once More With Feeling:** After touching a mysterious crystal with the rest of Team Seven, Kakashi travels back in time into his thirteen-year-old body and saves Obito. He realizes that he can't save the world alone, so tells Jiraiya and Tsunade about the future and asks for their help. Jiraiya and Tsunade yell at one another in a hotel room, Tsunade gives Kakashi her necklace, and they both, eventually, agree to help. In a plot to kill Danzō, they decide to go to the Rain and befriend the Akatsuki. Now, without further ado...

 **Chapter 3:**

 **Blame it on War and Peace**

 **AKA**

" **Rasputin" by Boney M.**

(Kill Bill: Vol 1)

There was not a single Konoha ninja who would testify against the beauty of their city's gate.

There was nothing masterful or unique about its construction. Architecturally, it blended in with the other outer walls and small builds within the city seamlessly, and its artistry paled in comparison to the magnificence of some of Konoha's mains structures, like the Hokage Rock and the Academy. To a visitor, it would seem like nothing more than a simple door.

Yet, no Konoha ninja would testify against its beauty. Because, after coming back to the village from a long mission, armed only with the relief at one's survival and clinging desperately to the coattails of battle's adrenaline high to carry one home, there was nothing more exhilarating than seeing the sight of Konoha's gate peeking through the trees. The inner-city buildings were exquisite, sure, but none of them saw as many rapturous smiles as the gate which welcomed weary ninja home.

Minato was never an exception to the phenomenon, but after coming back from his latest mission, the wonder struck him even harder than usual. There was something more to it, more than the usual euphoria of coming home, that took his breath away.

 _Kushina wanted a child._

 _This is the gate that will welcome my child home._

Kushina wasn't even pregnant—their potential child nothing more than an idea—so it was stupid to daydream. Still, Minato couldn't help it. The world itself seemed more vibrant and alive at the very thought of having a son or daughter.

Nearly everything in Konoha was falling victim to his fancying, and he suddenly developed an intense fondness for all of it. Ramen Ichiraku was no longer just Kushina's favorite restaurant; it was the place Kushina would introduce their child to ramen. The Hokage Rock was where he would take their child to learn about their village's history. The Konoha Library was where he would take their child to introduce them to the world of literature (if they were a reader, which he hoped they would be). The Academy was where their child would learn how to be a ninja.

Maybe the Hokage Office was where their child would one day sit, chosen as the leader of Konoha.

Of course, he would love them all the same if their dreams were not near that grand. He would love them no less if they decided to never become a ninja at all.

"You asked to see me, Sandaime?" asked Minato, bowing his head respectfully in greeting.

"Yes," said the Third, smiling, though it was stiff and didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sit down, won't you?"

Minato grabbed one of the chairs on the side of the office, pulled it up to the opposite side of the desk from the Third, and sat down.

"Tea?" asked the Third, pouring a cup for himself and readying a second one.

Tea. Would their child like tea? "No, thank you, sir."

"Very well." The Third took his time fiddling with the tea—putting up the pot and shuffling around papers on his desk to make room for his cup—before giving Minato a curious look out of the corner of his eye. "Have you heard from Jiraiya lately?"

"No," said Minato, frowning. "Haven't for a few months. Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"No," said the Third. "The opposite, actually. He looked…better than usual."

Nodding politely in attentiveness, Minato wondered where this conversation was going. Minato and the Third had a slightly more casual relationship than the average ninja had with their leader, due to what was referred to as "the sensei tree." Jōnin sensei often had an almost parental relationship to their charges, particularly due to the prevalence of orphans in ninja society, where sensei were the closest thing to an authority figure many genin had. So, the relationship to one's sensei's sensei could range anywhere from feeling mildly related to grandchild/grandfather.

Minato and the Third ran somewhere in the upper-middle. Even when he was younger, Minato saw a lot of the Third, and the Third had always been quick to trust him over his peers, but they had never talked about Jiraiya's well-being in-depth.

"Jiraiya told me he's been looking for an information gathering-successor," said the Third. "And, somehow, he landed on Kakashi. They left on a mission two Wednesdays ago, to test the waters."

That caught Minato off guard. To the best of his knowledge, Jiraiya and Kakashi had only seen each other a handful of times and Minato had been there for all of them, their crossing only because of him in the first place. And, while Minato certainly spoke highly of Kakashi in the presence of Jiraiya, when prompted for how his genin team was doing, Kakashi had just met the qualifications for Jōnin a few weeks ago.

Had this been the cause of Kakashi's personality change? Was his transformation merely a product of his old sensei getting ahold of him, Jiraiya's charisma and altruism winning over Kakashi's compulsive lawfulness?

No, that didn't make any sense. The change in Kakashi was immediate, and people seldom changed their entire outlook on life at the drop of a hat, particularly people as strong-willed as Kakashi, no matter how convincing their persuader. Even if it hadn't been instantaneous, Jiraiya and Kakashi would have had to be in contact for months leading up to that, and Jiraiya had been gone for the last five. What have they been doing—exchanging letters?

In fact, Jiraiya had only come back from his mission two Tuesdays ago, as had Kakashi, which meant they both left the morning after coming back from significant missions. Given the short turnaround time, Kakashi was still moderately injured when they left. Whatever the mission was, it was important enough to breed a spontaneous partnership in two completely opposite people.

Minato didn't like to pry into other people's business—particularly professional business, where they were strict legal limitations anyway. Still there was something wrong with that picture.

Even stranger, whatever this critical reason for their mission was, it had instilled a new wave of life into both of them. Kakashi was, out of nowhere, compassionate, hopeful, and charming. Jiraiya, apparently, looked better than he had in a year.

If Minato had to guess, they found something. Specifically, Kakashi found something, causing his abrupt change in personality during the Kannabi Bridge mission. Then, he showed it to Jiraiya two Wednesdays ago, causing a rejuvenation in Jiraiya and their sudden decision to go on a mission together.

As Minato had been with Kakashi the night before the Kannabi Bridge mission and _that_ Kakashi was the same as ever, he must have found whatever it was the morning of. He had been late, curiously, and had dodged giving a reason, brushing it off as a newfound deviation from predictability. But, Kakashi was smart—new Kakashi even more so, with his newfound wisdom and maturity—and he would have never risked the success of the mission on something like that. The dodge was intentional, most likely, and Kakashi said the one thing that would stun Minato to the point of not asking questions.

What could Kakashi have found that caused him to randomly develop social skills, wisdom, and maturity? Why did he hide it from Minato but show it to, of all people, Jiraiya, with whom he'd had no real contact with before?

Judging by the Third's description of their mission, which Minato now suspected was not a simple testing of the waters, Jiraiya and Kakashi had either lied to the Third or the Third was lying to him. If he had to guess, Jiraiya and Kakashi had lied to the Third; the Third was fishing when he told Minato that Jiraiya looked better than usual, to see if Minato knew anything about his sudden change in demeanor. If the Third was trying to hide the details of the mission from Minato, he wouldn't have needed information from him, nor would he have piqued his curiosity.

What had Kakashi and Jiraiya gotten into?

He had no desire to communicate these thoughts to the Third, particularly since it wasn't his place to pry in the first place, so he moved past them quickly. "I see," said Minato, keeping his face neutral. "Do you know when they'll be back?"

"I have no idea," said the Third. "I never do with Jiraiya. It could be weeks; it could be months."

"Will I have another Jōnin on my squad, then?"

"About that," said the Third, and the stiffness returned. "I've decided to station Rin at the hospital and Obito at the academy. They're both being trained to, at this time, work at their respective locations long term."

It was less surprising than the news about Jiraiya and Kakashi, but it was far less welcome.

"I suppose I'm being fired, then?" asked Minato, barely keeping a mirthless half-smile off his face.

"You must understand, Minato, whether you meant to or not, you're holding the war in your hands. I have to make sure your arms are empty enough to take it. The lives of our people depend on it, and I trust you more than anyone to keep them safe."

The compliment did not ease the sting. "So, I'm being fired."

The Third's gaze was firm, but Minato could swear there was an undercurrent of pity in his eyes.

"Yes."

(Two Bros, Chillin' in a Treehouse, Five Feet Apart 'Cause They're Not Gay)

Camped out only a few miles south of Konoha, both Kakashi and Jiraiya thought they had lived long enough to know that life would always find ways to take things from them, but losing the feeling of relief from being close to home gutted them in ways they weren't prepared for. Though war was ravaging the continent and political unrest extended even further, home had become their primary battlefield. Kakashi's peaceful Konoha was gone, Jiraiya's illusion of adequate village stability was gone, and though they both had different reasons, their lifetimes of loyalty and servitude suddenly felt hollow.

They really ought to have known better.

Also unbeknownst to one another, they wondered if Tsunade would feel the same restlessness upon coming back and would be dissuaded from staying, even though it was a thought for a later time. Having unfinished business in the town she was lodging in, Tsunade decided to stay behind with Shizune and Tenzō while Kakashi and Jiraiya ran one last errand before they all went to the Rain.

("Besides," she'd said. "The second-hand embarrassment might actually kill me.")

It was a thought for a later time, but despite having much more pressing issues to deal with, they both thought it all the same.

"Are your hideouts usually in treehouses?" asked Kakashi, trying to push everything from his mind as he kept watch though a cut-out knot in one of the wood panels, because he really ought to have known better.

"You got something against two grown men sitting in a treehouse together?" asked Jiraiya, doing the same on both accounts.

"Only if that other man is you."

"They're good hiding places," said Jiraiya, ignoring him. "You can get a decent vantage point on all sides through strategic holes in the wood, and it provides good concealment and cover. Not so great to do combat in, but that's what the exits are for."

"Not so great if your enemy likes long-range fire jutsu, either."

"Yeah, well, your plans are always fucked if an Uchiha gets involved." Looking away from his surveillance of the moonlit forest for just a moment, Jiraiya gave Kakashi a hard look. "How certain are you that this is going to work?"

"Fifty percent," said Kakashi. "With a fifty percent chance it's going to blow up in our faces."

Though Kakashi didn't have a concrete outline of Kabuto's past, he'd heard enough to know that Kabuto, as a young child, was taken into the Konoha Orphanage by Nono, one of the wardens and an ex-Root member who was not particularly fond of the organization or Danzō. At some point later, Danzō recruited Kabuto into Root, much to Nono's displeasure, and she spent the rest of her life trying to bargain him out. Kakashi wasn't sure at what age Kabuto was taken, but if there was any chance he was still at the orphanage, he needed to be dealt with. Kabuto had taken thousands of lives during the Fourth Ninja World War alone.

The smartest option was to just kill him and be done with it, but Jiraiya and Kakashi decided that they weren't in the business of killing innocent people for their future actions—particularly innocent children, who could easily be saved from their circumstances. Otherwise, Obito would have to be the first to go.

So, Kakashi was left with only one option.

Kakashi knew that fixing this timeline would involve personal sacrifices, and he thought he was committed to doing whatever he needed to. However, this went beyond his initial expectations, because there were some things in life that being a ninja didn't prepare you for, even a ninja career with as many weird experiences as his, and he was regretting it more with every hour that passed.

Even though the stakes were high, Jiraiya thought it was hilarious.

"You sure you want to go through with this?" asked Jiraiya.

"Why, would you like to do it instead?" asked Kakashi, irritated at the amused look on Jiraiya's face. "Or, better yet, be useful and think of a better plan?

"You're awfully bitchy about something you volunteered for." Jiraiya turned back towards his watch. "But, this _is_ the stupidest plan I've ever been apart of."

The fact that neither of them could think of a descent plan was weighing on both of them, because no matter how self-depreciative they were, they were still master tacticians. If they'd had more time, they probably could have set up something better. However, they'd only had thirty-six hours to plan, all of which were spent traveling, and twelve to enact it, so desperate times called for desperate measures.

Thankfully, Jiraiya had worked with Nono before, back when she was still apart of Root, so they weren't going in totally blind. He sent a letter to the orphanage, tied to the back of one of his frogs for identity verification, mentioning Kabuto and asking her to meet them sometime after midnight. If she loved Kabuto as much as the stories claimed and hadn't yet been sent on a mission by Danzō, they felt confident she would show.

Kakashi dreaded it with every fiber of his being. Jiraiya thought it was hilarious.

Neither of these things erased the sinister disquietness that came from proximity to the village.

They wondered if Tsunade would stay.

* * *

Nono finally showed around two-thirty, with exhausted eyes and a wary smile.

"Jiraiya," she greeted, as he took her hand and helped her into the treehouse. "This is…unexpected."

"I rarely do as expected." Jiraiya gestured over to Kakashi. "This is Kakashi Hatake. He used to be Minato Namikaze's student."

"It's nice to meet you," she said, once again giving an empty smile as she sat down and rested her back against the decaying wood of the treehouse wall. She gave both of them a calculating look, using her background in information gathering to try and get a read on the situation. But, they were as good at concealing things as she was at ascertaining them, and they all found themselves in a standstill. "So, you said this has something to do with Kabuto?"

"I've been digging into some things," said Jiraiya. "Word on the street is Danzō's going to come to the orphanage soon and force you to go on an intel gathering mission. Then, he's going to take a couple of the most skilled ninja in the orphanage and recruit them into Root." Jiraiya gave her a significant look. "Word on the street is Kabuto's at the top of that list."

" _No_ ," she said, almost standing in shock before realizing how low the ceiling was. Her face was caught somewhere between fear and anger, and Kakashi could tell why didn't make a good Root member; like all the members of his Team Seven, she was one of the unlucky few excellent ninja who couldn't conceal their emotions worth a damn. "He can't take him. He can take me, but he can't take him. Kabuto is sweet, and kind, and good, and Root would just destroy him."

"I know he's like a son to you," said Jiraiya. "Word on the street and all, which is why we're trying to help you."

"He _is_ my son," she said fiercely, before relaxing back against the wall. "Help me how?"

Jiraiya fought the urge to admit that Tsunade was right about second-hand embarrassment. Kakashi found the urge to run away.

"This is going to sound crazy," said Kakashi, growing quickly tired of having to say that phrase and all its variations.

"I would do anything to protect Kabuto," said Nono.

"Kakashi, though a teenager," said Jiraiya. "Is…beyond his years, in most ways. Dealing with Kakashi is no different, in any regard than dealing with someone, say, my age. In fact, I would suggest you look at him as if he's a thirty-seven-year-old stuck in a teenager's body."

"Okay," said Nono, slowly. "What does that have to do with anything?"

There were some things in life that being a ninja did not prepare you for. But, in the future, when the world went to war and Kabuto summoned death, death would not care about the reason.

 _The war was your fault, too._

 _It's nothing Naruto wouldn't do._

"Let me adopt Kabuto," said Kakashi, almost wincing. _There were some things in life…_ "There's another boy I have to take in. I can pass both of them off as long-lost relatives who've recently lost their parents and need someone in Konoha to look after them, so they can go to the academy. The disguise will keep them safe and let them lead normal lives."

Nono took several deep breaths as she looked back and forth between him and Jiraiya incredulously. "You're not serious."

"Trust me," said Jiraiya. "I know it's weird, and I know he's weird, but he's far more capable than he looks."

"And you honestly think he could responsibly raise two children?"

"As well as any thirty-seven-year-old, because that is the age we're pretending he is?" asked Jiraiya. Kakashi shot him an exasperated look. "Without a doubt in my mind. Trust me, I've taken in kids before, so I know what it's like, and I wouldn't vouch for him if I didn't mean it. Beside, he's going to look after one kid no matter what, so it's nothing he wouldn't be doing anyway."

Looking far more exhausted than when she climbed into the treehouse, Nono curled her knees to her chest and barely seemed to breath as she look back and forth between Kakashi and Jiraiya. Neither disturbed her, even as the moments passed on, because they knew giving up Kabuto wouldn't be easy for her and that giving him up to someone she thought was thirteen was even worse.

"I know this is difficult," said Kakashi, eventually. "And know that we wouldn't ask this of you if we didn't think it was necessary. You know that you didn't want to lose your son to someone like that." After all, Sasuke and Kabuto had fallen prey to the same enemy. Difference circumstances, but it was the same story. "It will stay with you for the rest of your life."

"I know." Resting her elbows on her knees and taking a deep breath, she smiled sadly. "He'll be a great ninja one day. He's only five, but he's already so talented at medical jutsu. Every day, he makes me prouder than the last."

"Then give him a chance," said Jiraiya. "To become a normal ninja and learn to use it for the good of the village."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"What would we have to gain?" asked Kakashi. "We're meeting you in the middle of the night in a treehouse. We clearly don't hold the upper hand in anything."

"I can't believe I'm considering this." She took a deep breath. "But, you're right. Danzō can't have that power, and he certainly can't have my son. It's probably time to put him in the academy, anyways."

"I'm sorry," said Kakashi, meaning it.

She nodded, dazed. "If you're right about Danzō, I don't even have a choice. If Jiraiya trusts you, then I trust you." Taking another deep breath, she regained her composure. "I'll destroy Kabuto's records and create immigrant papers under the name 'Kabuto Hatake,' so it will look like he came from outside of Konoha. Do you need papers for the other child?"

"Please," said Kakashi, almost dumbstruck, not fully believing their luck. "His name is Tenzō."

"Wait here," she said. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

With that, she jumped down from the entrance of the treehouse and ran back off into the night, leaving a stunned silence from the two men in her wake.

"Did that just work?" asked Jiraiya, still looking at the spot she had been sitting in disbelief. "I have created near-perfect plans with weeks of preparation that have failed miserably, but our fucking, last-minute 'hey, let's lure a woman into a treehouse at two in the morning and convince her to let a thirteen-year-old adopt her child' actually worked."

"A mutual hated of Danzō is a powerful thing." Kakashi was not sure how he felt about the succession of their plan. Though they probably hadn't screwed up their chances of fixing the timeline forever, he was adopting Kabuto. _Kabuto_ , the second Orochimaru, the one who had tried to kill him on multiple occasions. Sure, Obito had tried to kill him, but at least that was mostly contained within a three-day period, and he was his best friend first. "What the hell have I done?"

Kakashi felt like he was throwing fuel on the fire of the weird dynamics in their haphazard, world-saving group. Jiraiya was losing the will to find humor in their situation.

The sinister disquietness raged on.

They wondered if Tsunade would stay.

* * *

Kabuto was smaller than Kakashi thought he would be. He was scrawny for a five-year-old, and the too-large glasses he was wearing didn't help anything. If Kakashi squinted his eyes, the innocent-looking child Kabuto almost looked like a different person than the one he knew.

Truthfully, it was like looking at Sasuke when he was first put on Team Seven, the shadow of Itachi, of the death of the entire Uchiha clan, hanging over him. Despite that shadow, he wanted, then, to believe that the innocent, childlike face would last forever.

He'd lived long enough, now, to know that was stupid, but he liked to think they were passed that.

"Kabuto," said Nono. "This is Jiraiya and Kakashi Hatake."

"Hello," said Kabuto, in the middle of a yawn, smiling brightly. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too," said Jiraiya, while Kakashi could only find it in himself to awkwardly wave.

"Kabuto, something's happened," she said, cupping Kabuto's cheek and kneeling so that they were face-to-face. "It's not—it's not safe for you to be here anymore. They're going to take you to live in Konoha so you can go to the ninja school there."

"But I don't want to leave you," said Kabuto, growing panicked. "I want to stay here."

"I know." She smiled sadly and ruffled his hair. "But I need you to be strong for me, okay? You'll love it at the Academy. They'll teach you even more than I have."

"Will I ever get to see you again?"

"Of course. I'll come visit your when I can." She pulled him into a tight hug and looked at Kakashi over his shoulder. "Swear to me you'll take care of him."

"I will."

" _Swear it._ "

"I swear," said Kakashi, owing it to the world to do so.

As Kabuto and Nono exchanged tearful goodbyes, Kakashi felt like his grasp on reality was breaking. Jiraiya wondered how long the group could snowball like this before everything started crashing down around them.

The sinister disquietness raged on.

They hoped Tsunade would stay.

(Kill Bill: Vol 2)

Every jōnin-sensei entered the job knowing that it would one day come to an end. Students never stayed students forever, and it was considered a great honor to have your trainees move beyond the need for you.

" _You won't be ready,"_ Jiraiya told him once, early on in his sensei career. _"No matter when it happens, you won't be ready. You care about those brats too much."_

At nineteen-years-old, Minato didn't quite believe him, not understanding how the fulfillment of his purpose could bring him melancholy. At twenty-three-years-old, Minato realized that, as usual, his old sensei was right, and he wasn't ready to lose them.

Minato was proud, of course. He was prouder than he ever thought he was capable of being. No matter how much he didn't understand it, Kakashi was off doing something important with Jiraiya, and Minato almost unconditionally trusted anything Jiraiya decided to involve himself with. And though Rin and Obito never made it to Jōnin (and if he was being honest with himself, probably never would), the Third Hokage found a place for them in the village where they could use their talents for good.

Still, no matter how proud he was, he wasn't ready. The past four years had gone by so fast—far too fast—and Minato wanted to desperately cling onto time and extend it with them.

Was this what being a parent was like? Was this just a taste of what it would be like to watch a child grow up beyond the need for him?

 _Kushina wanted a child._

Every Jōnin sensei entered the job knowing that it would one day come to an end, including Minato, and he was lucky, luckier than many, that all of his students had lived to see it. So, he accepted the discharge with grace, pushed the bittersweet thoughts from his mind, and invited Obito and Rin to lunch to congratulate them on their new positions.

"It's so strange," said Rin, as they sat down, less willing to hide her mournfulness than Minato. "That we won't be… _us_ anymore."

"I will always be here if you two need anything," said Minato. "This doesn't change that. Whether or not I'm teaching you, Kushina and I will always be—" He thought of Jiraiya, ever watching over him and Kushina, the best stand-in for something neither of them ever got to have that they could have asked for. "—family, if you want it."

There was still sorrow in her eyes, but Rin gave a slight smile. "I'd like family."

"Me, too," said Obito, looking off to the side, deliberately not making eye contact with either of them, embarrassed by the admission.

"I wish Kakashi was here," said Rin, resting her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. "Do you know where he is or how long he'll be gone?"

"No," said Minato. "What Kakashi does is his business. Remember, now that we're no longer on a team, a lot of our mission work is going to be classified, so if you aren't told, it's best not to ask." Rin nodded distractedly and some of the light left her eyes, causing a pang of guilt to shoot through Minato, and he softened his voice. "I'm sure he'll be back soon."

Obito looked less pleased at that piece of news than Rin, so Minato moved on quickly. "How are you liking the hospital, Rin?"

"I really like it," she said, but quickly added, "I mean, don't get me wrong, you were the absolute best sensei I could have ever asked for, and I would never—"

"Rin, I want you to enjoy working at the hospital," interrupted Minato, before her rambling spiraled out of control. "It was my job to train you enough that you could go get a job that you're happy doing."

"Then, yeah," said Rin, relaxing back into her chair. "I really, really like it. I'm still in trial right now, but they're teaching me so much about medicine. My supervisor let me observe a surgery yesterday, and they're all so skilled. I hope I'm half as good as them one day."

"I'm sure you will be," said Minato, smiling. "What about you, Obito? How's the Academy?"

"It's okay." Obito crossed his arms and frowned. "I'd like it a lot better if I didn't know they just put me there because they don't think I'm good enough for field work."

"It's not like that," said Minato. "Building up the next generation of ninja is a huge server to the village—it's why I took the three of you on—and the Third Hokage put you there because he thought you'd be good at it. You're optimistic and kind, and that's what a lot of those kids are going to need. Remember, there's a lot of orphans that are going to come out of this war. You know how hard that is."

Obito nodded and some of the sullenness left him, but Minato had to admit, it _was_ odd that both Rin and Obito were yanked out of mission work without even attempting to replace Kakashi. There were several Jōnin who had dramatically more experience than Kakashi who could easily take his place. When they reported the Kannabi Bridge mission to the Third, he gave no indication that he was anything but pleased with Kakashi's team or thought that they were distracting Minato in the slightest, given that both Minato and Team Kakashi had accomplished extraordinary wins for Konoha with little trouble. Logically, Minato thought that the Third would have kept the man power and put Obito and Rin on _some_ squad, instead of pulling them from combat and taking up someone's time to train them to do different jobs than they were used to.

Unless, of course, the Third wasn't the one to make the decision at all.

Minato felt foolish for not realizing it before.

 _Jiraiya_ took away his team.

Logically, the Third _shouldn't_ have had a change of heart. With whatever Jiraiya and Kakashi were up to, Jiraiya could have. After all, hadn't Jiraiya been the one to snatch up Kakashi out of nowhere? The Third, like Minato, trusted Jiraiya unquestionably, so Jiraiya could have easily convinced him to retire Obito and Rin to the village on the grounds of potentially distracted Minato, particularly since Jiraiya knew Minato better than anyone who wasn't Kushina.

Minato knew that doubting Jiraiya's rational was the wrong move, because Jiraiya usually had good reasons for the things he did, but that didn't stop the sting of betrayal that painfully zapped his chest.

 _No matter when it happens, you won't be ready_.

Why did Jiraiya make that moment come prematurely?

What the hell did Kakashi and Jiraiya find?

(Outrunning Reality)

The twins, Yoshiki and Yoshiko, were born on the day the First Ninja World War ended, a cruel reminder to their mother that their father, who had died only weeks before, was so close to making it.

" _How unlucky,"_ people said. _"Left to raise two children on her own."_

It turned out she was lucky after all, because she was saved from the burden of single-parenthood when she was killed in a skirmish between her squad and a group of extremists still bitter about the war's conclusion. The twins, only one-years-old when it happened, were passed around from family to family over the years, never wanted for long.

" _How unlucky,"_ people said. _"Orphaned so young and never finding a proper home."_

Not that any of them ever did anything about it. That sort of unlove was unbearable to the twins, so they ran off in their early teens and watched out for one another, just them against the world.

Of course, until Yoshiko fell in love with a man seven years her senior. _Raiden_ , a self-proclaimed poet and scholar, who traveled around with an ex-ninja, anti-war group. He spoke platitudes of peace, art, and love that fascinated the easily-impressed, sixteen-year-old, war-hurt Yoshiko, and he wrote ballads about her beauty that mesmerized her into traveling with his group full time.

Yoshiki thought Raiden was full of shit, but he would have never considered leaving his twin's side, so he let Yoshiko drag him along. However, he was jealous that he was no longer in his twin's number one spot, and it was made worse when Yoshiko unexpectedly got pregnant at seventeen.

Of course, until he saw niece Kaiya for the first time. He was instantly charmed by her, and he realized that his family was not being taken away from him due to Yoshiko's split attention; it was expanding. And, when Raiden really stepped up and became a better father than he was a poet, Yoshiki begrudgingly accepted him as part of their makeshift family, too.

For the first time in the twins' life, things started to look up.

Then, the Second Ninja World War began.

Their group did everything they could, but as outcasts, they didn't have the benefit of protection from a village. Rapidly, their companions—their friends—were killed off when they got caught in raids and skirmishes. Though it meant abandoning their cause, Raiden, Yoshiko, and Yoshiki knew it wasn't worth risking Kaiya's safety over, and they found an out-of-the-way village to take refuge in.

" _How unlucky,"_ people said. _"Nowhere else to turn."_

Raiden and Yoshiko, having never stayed in one place for more than a month since their youths, grew restless in the melancholy town they were trapped in. Yoshiki, who fell in love with the grocer's daughter, Jin, faired a bit better. By the time the war ended, Kaiya had been in the town long enough to grow up beside friends and Yoshiki married Jin, so the three ex-ninja decided they would stay in the town, to give both Kaiya and Jin a better life than they would have had on the road.

The restlessness never went away, but they eventually found their footing. Yoshiki and Jin had two sons, Dai and Jun, named after both of Jin's grandfathers, and they both took over the grocery when Jin's father passed. Raiden, stronger than anyone else in the village, took a job at the lumber mill and read poetry at the local bar three nights a week, and Yoshiko was taken under the wing of the town seamstress.

They never forgave the war for taking the traveling life away from them, but for the first time in the twins' life, things were steady.

Then, the Third Ninja World War began, and their town was no longer out of the way.

Raiden, Yoshiko, and Yoshiki could all protect themselves, so when their town was caught in the crossfire of a battle, they managed to get both themselves and one kid each to safety. Jin, on the other hand, could not, and when it came down to Yoshiki saving Jun or saving her, both knew what choice had to be made.

" _How unlucky,"_ people would've said, if only there had been someone left.

And just like that, they were thrown back into old habits, wandering aimlessly across the continent and beyond. Their hatred of war burning harder than it ever had, they were desperate to do something about it this time, to not be helpless in their efforts to stop it.

When they found the Akatsuki, it was a match made in heaven.

* * *

"I don't understand," said Jiraiya, as their newly formed team of six sat in a cramped shack in the Rain. "Why my hobby had to be shitty poetry, of all things. I _hate_ poetry."

"Because, the only thing you're good at is being shitty at poetry," said Tsunade, brushing her newly mousey-brown hair out of her eyes. "Look, if I have to be common-law married to you for the next month or so, I want this one thing."

"You would take pleasure in my pain."

"You're certainly bickering like an old married couple," said Kakashi, leaning against the wall.

As Kakashi, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Shizune could all change their appearance via jutsu, it was easy to pull off their disguises. Kakashi and Tsunade settled on mousey-brown hair and plain appearances, taking care to match their facial features enough to look like twins but not enough to where it looked unnatural. Jiraiya insisted that he at least be a little better looking than they were, making his hair a nice shade of dark down, though he was nowhere above average. Shizune, through a little coaching from the three Jōnin, looked like a descent combination of the two of them.

Tenzō and Kabuto were much harder to disguise, so they had to keep things simple. They left Tenzō's appearance alone, as his hair was similar to Kakashi's disguise, knowing they would have to bleach his hair and dye it gray before they went back to Konoha anyway. To match, they stuck a brown wig on Kabuto. Even if there was a ROOT spy, there was no way they would recognize Kabuto or Tenzō, and the likelihood of a Root member coming out of deep cover in the Akatsuki, traveling back to Konoha, and paying close attention to academy students was slim, so they decided that changing the boys' hair would be good enough. They just had to make it until January.

"Remember," said Kakashi to Kabuto and Tenzō. "Your names are Dai and Jun, Tsunade is Aunt Yoshiko, Jiraiya is Uncle Raiden, and Shizune is your cousin, Kaiya. We all have to act like family."

"And we're doing this so the bad guy can't get to us?" asked Kabuto, still confused as to why pretending to be a traveling family unit in the Land of Rain was going to stop someone in Konoha from getting to them if they were going back to Konoha anyway.

Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Tsunade felt bad about dragging two kids, neither of which were even genin, into an undercover operation in a country they'd never been to. Luckily, there were so many weird facets of the group they'd formed that no one could really focus on one thing for too long, which oddly helped give them a clear head after suffering through the whirlwind that was the previous two weeks. They could almost pretend that this was just another undercover mission—something they had all done a thousand times.

Almost.

"Yes," said Kakashi. "So, it's very important that you remember your story and not tell anyone about who you really are."

"Think of this as your first ninja mission," said Jiraiya. "Not many people get to go on a top-secret mission before they become genin. For the most part, just let us do all the talking."

"I won't let you down," said Tenzō, nodding intently, though it didn't hide the nervousness in his eyes, and he gently elbowed Kabuto. "We can do it, right Jun?"

Tenzō had accepted everything Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Tsunade told him without question, and they were pretty certain he was just so grateful that someone rescued him that he would take on an army by himself if they asked him to, which didn't help their guilt.

"Right," said Kabuto, too young to really think of an argument against what they were doing. "…Dai."

"I'd ask if you were ready," said Jiraiya to Kakashi. "But your response to trauma is just to jump right into crazy shit, so you should be right at home."

It was disguised with a joke and an insult, but Jiraiya followed it with a humorless look, indicating that he really was asking. Kakashi gave him a slight bow of his head and an almost imperceptible eyebrow raise, asking the same. After a moment, Jiraiya shrugged and Kakashi returned it, both communicating something to the effect of "we're ninja; we can handle it." Shizune looked curiously between the pair, knowing that someone had obviously happened between the two of them and Tsunade, but Tsunade hadn't given her any specifics beyond that they needed her and she was taking Shizune undercover in the Rain with them.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, as if their interim moment hadn't happened. "Language, Raiden. We have kids."

"I swore around Kaiya, and she turned out just fine," said Tsunade, and Kakashi knew that wasn't just Yoshiko talking.

"Can I ask you a question before we turn into the other people for good?" whispered Kabuto, leaning in close to Kakashi. Kakashi nodded. "Was the guy who's my new uncle disguised when my mom gave me to you, too?"

"What do you mean?" asked Kakashi.

"You were in a disguise," he said, pointing at his face in a circular gesture around his mouth and nose. "Was he in a disguise, too?"

All of the adults now realizing what he was referring to, Jiraiya and Tsunade both grinned, though the later at least had the decency to hide it.

"I wasn't wearing a disguise," said Kakashi, having a feeling he wouldn't head the end of his choice in accessory from Jiraiya for a while. "I always wear a mask."

"Oh," said Kabuto, before looking inquisitively at his now-maskless face. "Do you miss it?"

Jiraiya looked at Kabuto like he was his new favorite person, glad that there was someone else who could drag Kakashi as much as he did, even if it was unintentional.

* * *

The Ame Orphans had distinctive hair, Kakashi noticed. For as obsessed with the cloaks as Nagato was, wanting to be seen and feared from far away, Nagato, Konan, and Yahiko were victims of the "Sakura Problem." Sure, the pink-haired ninja obliterating trees with her bare hands in the distance _could_ be anyone, but it wasn't difficult to make a good guess at them being Konoha's own medical darling.

Sure, the red-haired, the really-red-haired, and the blue-haired ninja walking towards them in the distance _could_ be anyone, but it wasn't difficult to make a good guess at them being the three rampant murder machines.

Konoha had a rough history, full of atrocities of nearly every kind: hopeless wars, massacres, demon attacks, illegal human experiments, constant acts of treason by someone who was supposed to be leading the village, double invasions while people were just trying to watch the final round of the chūnin exams, the list continued. There were a lot of different things that haunted a lot of different citizens of Konoha, ninja and civilian alike.

In all that, there was one moment, above everything else, that everyone agreed caused the world to stand still. One pivotal moment that still haunted people's dreams en masse—that made even the most hardened people in Konoha know the meaning of fear. One moment that Sakura could still see when she closed her eyes, she'd told him, and could make even Naruto pause when it was mentioned. One moment and two horrifying words that were etched into every crevice in Konoha.

 _Shinra Tensei_.

Despite all the evils that were committed on Konoha's soil, Nagato and Konan were the only two people to ever bring it to the ground.

Yahiko was innocent in that, of course, but his murderous eyes were the last sight Kakashi saw before his death, so he wasn't exactly a welcome sight either.

Jiraiya noticed none of this, unblinkingly watching the orphans as they approached, but Tsunade—because of course she would notice—gently nudged his shoulder with hers, and he looked down to meet her gaze. There was concern in her eyes, seeing in him what she must knew other people saw in her, but there was also fear. The ramifications of dealing with the Akatsuki must have hit her, what they were capable of and what Kakashi, Jiraiya, and her could be implicated in if things with south, and she was giving him every opportunity to call it quits.

Looking at the Akatsuki leaders growing ever-closer to the shack they were hiding in, he wished he could consider it.

"It's nothing Naruto wouldn't do," he mouthed to her.

"We're not Naruto," she mouthed back. "Not even close."

"No," he agreed. "But Naruto deserved to do a lot less than he had to."

That seemed to take the argument out of her, but she still looked uneasy.

"All we have to do is convince them to help us kill Danzō," he said. "Which is easy, because the whole world wants to kill Danzō."

"I think half the world's desire to murder Danzō comes from you."

"Would you rather not kill him?"

"Of course, I want to," she admitted. "I'd sure as hell sleep a lot better if he was dead."

"So," he said, nodding his head towards the orphans. "Let's kill Danzō."

"Let's kill Danzō," she agreed, and it gave both the resolve to push forward.

* * *

Jiraiya couldn't see what Tsunade and Kakashi were mouthing to one another, as Kakashi's back was turned towards him, blocking Tsunade's shorter frame, but he could tell they were having a moment of silent conversation. At first, he thought nothing of it, as there were a lot of things to say that needed to be kept silent in current company. But, when Kakashi turned away from her and back towards the oncoming orphans, Tsunade smiled at him when he wasn't looking in a way that gave Jiraiya pause.

A few things jumped into his mind, namely Kakashi's avoidance of the answer to what he said to Tsunade that convinced her to give him the necklace. Before he could really consider anything, though, there was a knock on the door of the shack. Two shorts, two longs, and then three rapid shorts—the old code they used to use when Jiraiya trained the orphans originally. After knocking back four times, the confirmation of the code, Jiraiya opened the door to let them in.

"Hey," said Yahiko, grinning as he clapped Jiraiya on the shoulder, and joking, "You've certainly changed since we last saw you."

"Turns out, when you're born with white hair, age turns it brown," joked Jiraiya, before catching sight of Konan. "Speaking of changes, you eighteen, yet?"

"You came just a few months too early," said Konan good-naturedly.

"It's why I had to snag her up," said Yahiko, in kind. "I figured you'd be back."

"I taught you guys well," said Jiraiya, grinning.

Then, there was Nagato, following closely behind the other two and shutting the door as he came in. Sensitive, pacifist Nagato, who would later try and burn the world in order to save it. Of the three orphans Jiraiya thought was capable of leading a group dedicated to large-scale destruction, Nagato was not the one he would have picked.

Of course, little, squishy-faced Kabuto would apparently go on to kill even more people than Nagato, so there really was no telling. As far as Jiraiya was concerned, Nagato fell under the same clause; he was just a kid who needed saving.

Judging by the looks on Kakashi's and Tsunade's faces, eerily similar due to their newfound features, they were feeling less confident.

"It's good to see you again, Jiraiya," said Nagato.

"I'm really glad to see you guys again," said Jiraiya, meaning it even with what he knew, before gesturing towards the woman who no longer looked anything like his old teammate. "You remember Tsunade, don't you?"

A slew of introductions went around, some more awkward than others, but the Akatsuki didn't seem to notice.

"We were surprised to hear from you," said Nagato, once everyone was familiar. "With the war going on."

"Not that it isn't welcome," said Yahiko. "We were hoping to extend an invitation to you before long. We've made a lot of progress and gained a few really good people that I think you'll be pleased with."

"I've been keeping tabs on you guys," said Jiraiya. "And I _have_ been really proud of what you've been doing."

Even the ever-stoic Konan looked pleased with that.

"I do have business to discuss with you," said Jiraiya. "But first, we just want to observe—come stay awhile in disguise."

"As I said, we'd love to have you," said Yahiko. "We've got a meeting this evening that we've got to get back for. It'll be the perfect introduction to our organization."

"Then, lead the way."

(The Rain)

The Akatsuki's current hideout was in an old bunker—judging by the amount of rust, a relic from the days before ninja villages. Because there were already six of them and they had children in their party, the Konoha group was allowed their own room, a cramped, standalone barrack with three bunkbeds barely packed inside. Kabuto was thrilled with the idea of sleeping on a top bunk, finding being up that high a very grown up thing to do, while Tenzō, in his claustrophobia, was less thrilled.

("You can discuss whatever you like when you're in the room," the adults told Shizune, Tenzō, and Kabuto when they deposited them in the room before the meeting, deciding against taking the kids to the assembly to give them the alibi of ignorance as much as possible. "But always lock the door, stay together, use the codewords we taught you to verify one another's identities, and use codenames even when you're in the room, so you get into the habit.")

Doubling as a mess hall, they assumed, based on the tables lined against the wall, the Akatsuki's meeting room was a spacious area lined with rows of benches from back to front. At the very head, Yahiko leaned against a wooden podium that looked almost as old as the bunker itself, talking to two Akatsuki members they didn't recognize. There were already several people in the hall when they arrived, so they had to snag a seat in the middle, and several more people shuffled in as the minutes passed closer to start, methodically filling in the rows from font backwards. Despite the rest of the organization's eagerness to sit as close to the podium as they could, Konan and Nagato stood in the back, pressed up against the wall and watching everyone closely.

"Welcome, welcome," said Yahiko at time, and all the chatter in the room immediately ceased. "To those of you who've been in the bunker, thank you for joining us today, and to those of you who've been graciously outside the bunker gathering intel—" He gestured to a group of ninja in the middle, and they gave a quick cheer in response. "—we're glad to have you back.

"We talk about who a lot here," continued Yahiko. "The Akatsuki was started because of the devastation in the Second Ninja World War, and we tripled in number as the start of the Third. In every one of our meetings, we've discussed war, and we're inevitably going to discuss war today."

He paused, making intent, sweeping eye contact with everyone in the room.

"Given this, some might make the mistaken assumption that our group is built on war—that our group functions because of war. But, make no mistake, we have laid our foundations on peace. Each and every one of you is here because of your inspiring and unwavering dedication to peace."

There were a couple of enthusiastic hurrahs from the group, and the sound reverberated across the hall.

"I did not call all of you here today to talk about war," said Yahiko. "According to our intel, the war is at the beginning of its end, and peace is on the horizon. And, because we are a group that is built on peace, we will rise with it at the dawn. I have called you here today because our true purpose has just begun."

Another chorus of acclamations broke out, louder and more numerous this time.

"For our first order of business," said Yahiko. "I'm sure you've all noticed that there are three new comrades among us." Yahiko nodded towards the Konoha adults. "Would you like to introduce yourselves?"

The adults made a mild, intentional show of deciding who would do the honors, before Jiraiya got up and walked towards the front. Jiraiya was best at gathering intel when he was actively chasing it, while Kakashi was best at gathering intel when he was passively observing it. So, they decided that the twins would be on the quieter side, particularly since Tsunade was best at running support, and Raiden would be the louder of the three who usually did the talking.

"My name's Raiden," said Jiraiya, taking the podium after Yahiko welcomed him to it. "Back there's my wife Yoshiko and her twin brother Yoshiki. We got three kids with us, too: Yoshiko's and I's daughter, Kaiya, and Yoshiki's two sons, Dai and Jun. Me and the twins were part of another peace group back in the day, but it was torn apart in the Second War when most of our numbers were killed. For the sake of my daughter, the three of us settled down in a town northwest of here, and we thought we were safe."

Pausing, Jiraiya looked like the words were physically difficult to get out. "But, when the Third Ninja World War started, our town wasn't so safe anymore. It burned to ash in a single night, destroyed by a raid that took the life of my sister-in-law and made Yoshiki a single father, and the rest of us barely got out with our lives." Jiraiya curled his right hand into a fist and clapped it against his left palm in an expression of resolve. "But, we're sick of running, and we're not doing it again. We want to make a change this time—do what we couldn't do in our youths—and end this cycle of war and suffering."

"May you rise with us as the dawn," said Yahiko, taking back the podium, and Jiraiya retook his seat by Tsunade. "We welcome you into our numbers."

A series of ununified greetings broke out, some echoing Yahiko's sentiment of "may you rise with us as the dawn" and others just saying some variation of "hello," and Yahiko quickly took back control, "Now, onto our second order of business—"

The meeting was long enough that there was a lot of content to mull over, but not so long that it dragged—around an hour. For most of the time, various ninja presented the intel that they'd gathered for group consideration, and though none of it was news to the Konoha ninja (though what could be, at this point?), it was still an impressive wealth of information. Between the lot of them, they had as good of a grasp on the happenings of the war as any ninja village.

They had to give it to Yahiko; he knew how to work a room. With each presentation, he made the presenter feel as if their contribution was the most important thing being said in the world at that time. He listened attentively, never once losing his focus, and was quick to give encouragement when it was needed. At the very end of the meeting, he opened up a brief, Socratic discussion as to their next move, as if he valued their opinions as much as he valued his own.

"There is no such thing as inaction in war," said Yahiko in conclusion. "All wars will eventually end—such is the nature of them—but peace, lasting peace, is like a garden. When work is put into prepping the soil and tending to the plants, a harvest will grow and prosper. However, in wars past, there was little effort put into building a strong base for peace to thrive in. A resolution was merely dumped at the finish line, and like seeds in bitter soil, nothing took, leading to another vicious cycle of war and death—wars which caused villages to grow more hostile and less likely to make concessions.

" _We_ have to be the ones to break the cycle. To do nothing in war is to support the destruction it causes, and we must refuse to conform to the rest of the world in their inactivity. With the means at our disposal, we will build the foundations that have been ignored for so long, and we will rise out of them with peace for a new era."

Yahiko clenched his right fist and placed it over his heart. "We will rise as the dawn."

"We will rise as the dawn," repeated the group, with the same amount of unwavering conviction, placing their hands over their hearts.

The room was alight with energy as the meeting ended and several excited conversations broke out, celebrating the potential ending of the war and optimistically planning for their future. Yahiko was in the middle of it all, easily switching from one conversation to the next, thriving in the attention in hubbub.

Finally able to make proper conversation, the various Akatsuki members passed around Kakashi, Tsunade, and Jiraiya in a whirlwind of introductions, shaking their hands and welcoming them into the organization. The Konoha adults played their covers with smiles, concealing the internal dread they were starting to feel after witnessing Yahiko's almost hypnotic, persuasive authority.

Despite the life in the room, Konan and Nagato never moved from the back, standing like statuesque protectors on both sides of the door.

* * *

When Shizune turned twelve, Tsunade decided she was too old to not be a genin, so she sent her back to the village for a few days to take the Genin Exam. Tsunade didn't come with her, of course, but she did wait in a small town that was halfway between the Fire country's outer border and Konoha and provided Shizune with enough money to stay in a hotel for a few days and feed herself. Tsunade's strict instructions were simple: get in, lay low, take the exam, and return to her.

Shizune wasn't sure why being a genin mattered, because it wasn't as if anything she and Tsunade did would change, but Shizune was too young when they left the village to properly remember it and her curiosity made her eager to agree.

It was both the best and worst decision she had ever made. Catching sight of the village for the first time nearly knocked her off her feet. It was _home_ —a place that was hazy in her memories but not totally forgotten, judging by the painful ache in her chest. She had felt a longing for stability before, a longing for a regular life and friends her own age, but for the first time in her life she felt truly homesick. There was a place and a culture that her family belonged to, that Tsunade belonged to, that _she_ belonged to.

She would have never considered leaving Tsunade. Tsunade had raised her and trained her, and Shizune owed her everything. But, knowing that she would have to leave the village again made her so forlorn that, on her first night in the village, she collapsed onto the bed in her hotel room and cried. It made her feel very childish, but she felt uncontrollably alone, and she sobbed until exhaustion dragged her off to sleep.

The Academy registrar did not show any recognition when she gave her name, so Shizune, for a moment, thought she was in the clear in regard to laying low. But, when the registrar pulled her file to verify her citizenship, he suddenly paused in the middle of reading it and gave her a hard look.

"Shizune, you said?" he asked, and she knew any hopes she had of cover were blown.

"Yes," she said, freezing in place, unsure if Tsunade would prefer for her to stay and take the exam regardless or just make a run for it.

"Wait here, for a moment." He got up from his place at the desk and looked at the ANBU guard in the room significantly, and Shizune knew that waiting was less of a request and more of an order. "I'll be right back."

Nervously glancing at the clock on the wall every minute or so, Shizune knew that, logically, it only took him fifteen minutes to return, but with the ANBU ninja's gaze watching her like a hawk the entire time, it felt like hours.

"I'll schedule your exam for tomorrow morning at eight," he said, sitting back down, and then just as lightly, "And the Hokage asks that you meet him presently for lunch in his office."

Tsunade always spoke of the village and its inhabitants in a detached manner, as if it was just some place that she once lived and nothing more. However, there were a few names that made the aloofness feel a little more forced when she said them—a few people she was prone to share stories about when she drank a little too much. As such, if Shizune was less terrified, she would have felt instantly warm towards the Third Hokage, knowing that, despite her best attempts to hide it, Tsunade both thought highly of him and missed him.

But, she _was_ terrified. She was alone in a village that was basically unfamiliar, being lead by a special operations soldier to meet one of the most powerful ninja in the world, without any idea as to what he wanted from her. So, she walked into the office on edge, readying for a conflict she knew she was not nearly skilled enough to take on.

"Shizune," he said, smiling kindly. "I don't know if you remember me."

She didn't, but she bowed respectfully anyways and said, "It's nice to see you again, Hokage, sir."

The Hokage dismissed the ANBU ninja from the room and invited her to sit down. "Tea?" he asked, pouring a cup for himself and readying a second one.

"Thank you," she said, sitting down, unsure if she had just accepted or refused.

Taking it as acceptance, he poured her a cup and took his team fiddling with both of their teas. Slower than she thought was necessary, he carefully put his teapot somewhere out of the way and stacked papers into arbitrary piles to make room for the cups, and the nerves eventually got to her.

"I'm not going to tell you where she is," she blurted out.

He paused for the briefest of moments before giving her a slight smile and placing the last stack of papers out of the way. "You're a brave girl," he said, passing her the cup of tea. "But, I'm not going to make you tell me where Tsunade is. What Tsunade does is her business, and what you do is yours. I just wanted to chat because it's been a very long time."

"Oh," she said, relaxing into her chair a little, before the severity of what she'd just done hit her and she momentarily panicked again. "I'm sorry, Hokage, sir, that was inappropriate."

Nodding, he accepted her apology. "Are you in the village long?"

"No," she said. "Lady Tsunade is waiting for me. I want to get back to her as soon as I can."

"And how is my former student?"

Light and impartial, his tone was reminiscent of someone discussing the weather, and had it been anyone else, Shizune would have taken it at face value. It seemed that, despite Tsunade's claims that Orochimaru was the one that took after the Third Hokage, she picked up at least one habit from him. The inflection and the body language were an eerie mirror of Tsunade attempting to sound removed from something that she wasn't.

Shizune often wondered and tried to subtly pull information out of Tsunade about the people that she missed, but it had never occurred to Shizune to wonder about the people that missed Tsunade.

"She's good. Still…still retired but good."

"And yourself?"

"Good," she said more confidently. "Lady Tsunade is the best teacher I could have asked for, and we travel all over the place. It's nice."

"I'm glad to hear that you're taking the Genin Exam," he said. "Konoha could always use more ninja, even if those ninja are far away."

"It was Lady Tsunade's idea," she admitted. "She said that I was getting too old to not be a chūnin , much less a genin."

He smiled. "That doesn't surprise me. Did she tell you that she became a genin at six?" Shizune shook her head. "Yes, all of the Sannin did—they're still the youngest kids to ever graduate from the Academy. She was always very proud of that fact."

"Oh." It didn't surprise Shizune, given that Tsunade was famous for being _legendary_ , but as Tsunade rarely talked about her ninja days, it was still nice to hear, and she couldn't help but inquire further. "When did they become Chūnin?"

"That very same year, just six months after graduating. The other genin hated them because they were all six and still better than the rest of them. Tsunade, Orochimaru, and Jiraiya, prideful as they were, loved it—"

The Third was quick to give stories about the Sannin and Konoha in general, and Shizune went from terrified to endeared faster than a flash of lightning, eager to absorb all the things that Tsunade wouldn't talk about. For nearly four hours he entertained her, as if they were old friends, and he inquired just as much about her travels as she did about Konoha. Suspecting he really just wanted to hear about how Tsunade was doing, Shizune tried to pull the least trashy but still exciting stories she could think of.

When it came time to say goodbye, it pained her.

"I wish you luck on your exam," said the Third. "Not that I think you'll need it."

"Thank you, sir," she said. "And thank you for lunch."

"Of course. Know that you are welcome back to the village at any time."

Shizune knew that the "you" in his sentence wasn't singular.

"Thank you," she said, forcing a smile. "I hope to see you and the village again soon."

With that, she whipped around at left, forbidding herself from showing any signs of doubt. She had to desire to divulge the fact that she was almost certain Tsunade was never coming back.

When Shizune returned to her, she also did not divulge about her meeting with the Third, instead assuring her that no one recognized her. Shizune wasn't sure how Tsunade would react to the knowledge that she met with her old sensei and had no desire to upset her. To this day, it was the only thing Shizune ever hid from her.

Yet, here they were, somehow, almost two years later, with the only thing standing between Shizune and home was a bizarre but promised-to-be-short trip to stay in a bunker with the most motley crew that she could have imagined.

As far as Shizune, Tenzō, and Kabuto were concerned, the only thing that the three of them had in common was that they were all dragged along on this weird mission, and if the three of them were better socialized, that probably would have been enough to bring them together. But, as Shizune hardly spoke to anyone who wasn't Tsunade, Kabuto had never left the orphanage, and Tenzō was, for all intents and purposes, a little over two weeks old, they spent a good ten minutes awkwardly staring at one another in silence before Shizune had the idea to fish through Tsunade's stuff to find a deck of cards.

Shizune didn't know any card games that weren't meant for gambling and Tenzō didn't know any games at all, so they let Kabuto teach them a card game that he learned at the orphanage, where one had to slap the top of the desk depending on certain card combinations and one's ultimate goal was to _lose_ all of their cards.

"I wonder if my mother would be good at this game," said Shizune aloud, as a joke to herself, forgetting that neither Tenzō nor Kabuto would have any context for it.

"Is your mother good at games?" asked Tenzō.

"No, she's terrible. The only thing she's good at is losing."

"Then why were we at a casino?"

"She likes gambling, anyway," said Shizune, placing down a card that earned a slap. Her reflexes were much faster than their due to her amount of training, so she intentionally let Kabuto "take" it to even out the playing field. "She goes into debt in every town that we stay in." Shizune pressed her lips into a frown. "I don't know why, but your dad paid back half of the money she owed in that town. He wanted to pay back all of it, but she insisted he only pay half."

"Did he owe _her_ money?" asked Tenzō.

"I don't think so. I never leave my mother's side, and I had never seen him before him and my dad showed up." She looked at Kabuto. "Did the two of them say anything to you when you were on your way to meet up with us?"

Kabuto shook his head. "My mother gave me to them late at night, so I fell asleep."

"Who are they, exactly?" asked Tenzō to Shizune. "Are they important or something?"

"My parents are _very_ important," said Shizune, with pride. "They used to be on a team called the Sannin with one other man and the three of them are considered to be three of the best ninja in the entire world." Shizune paused, not wanting to bring up too many details about Tsunade's past, but the main one was unavoidable. "My mother is retired now; she doesn't practice ninja work or medicine anymore. But, before that, she was known as _the_ best medical nin to ever live."

"She's a medical nin?" asked Kabuto, his eyes lighting up, so distracted that he missed an easy slap that Tenzō swiped instead.

"Was."

Well, _maybe_. Shizune was, in many regards, confused as to what exactly Tsunade's plans were. She was on a mission and they were returning home, but as far as Shizune knew, she was still just as afraid of blood as she was a week ago.

"I want to be a medical nin when I grow up," he said. "My mother taught me how to heal people at the orphanage, and she said that Konoha would teach me even more things."

"I can teach you a couple things while we're here, if you'd like," said Shizune. "My mother has taught me a ton of things."

"Yes, please," he said, nearly giddy at the prospect, and Shizune smiled at his enthusiasm.

"What about my dad?" asked Tenzō. "Is he important?"

"I don't know," she said, and the smile slipped off her face. "I'd never even heard of him before, but my mother and I travel around a lot and we usually miss some news. I know he's the son of an old friend of my mother and father, though, and _he_ was a famous ninja, so your dad might be, too."

"So, is this mission super important, too?"

There were so many unusual, mysterious variables at play that she had no idea where to begin to understand the situation, and several of them bothered her a great deal. For starters, out of nowhere, Jiraiya and the son of their dead friend showed up with a kid who had been illegally experimented on and almost instantaneously convinced Tsunade to return to the village, something even a war attempting to obliterate their village couldn't do.

Then, there was the whole Rain business in the first place. Whatever they told Tsunade, it prompted them to adopt a seemingly random, young orphan, and then the two Sannin plus Kakashi dragged all of them to the hideout of an organization in a country they didn't belong to (and what kind of organization even was this?). Their three tagalongs were given no explanation for this nor their need of cover, only vaguely alluding to the fact that it would help them stop an unnamed "bad guy."

The least important of these, though perhaps the most vexing, was that Kakashi, despite being a couple months _younger_ than she was, got to be disguised as an adult. She, on the other hand, still had to be undercover as a thirteen-year-old and was being lumped in with a nine-year-old and a five-year-old. Why Tsunade and Jiraiya treated Kakashi so much different than her was beyond her, and it made her feel a little humiliated in his presence.

In short, Shizune had no idea what was happening, but if it was enough to bring Tsunade out of retirement, she was sure of one thing:

"If I had to guess," she said. "Very."

* * *

When Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Kakashi came back from the meeting, they kicked the kids out of the room on the grounds of telling them to go grab dinner before bed ("stay together," they reiterated), giving them the privacy to debrief.

"Yahiko," said Tsunade, sitting down crisscross at the head of her bed, after they had briefly discussed, strategically, who should take what bunk. Tsunade took the middle one, under Tenzō, Jiraiya took the one closest to the door, under Shizune, and Kakashi took the one against the back wall, under Kabuto. "Is one charismatic motherfucker."

The two men gave noises of agreement as they took their place at the foot of their own bunks. Both too tall to properly sit, Kakashi slouched and leaned against one of the posts holding up the top bunk, while Jiraiya had to sprawl out entirely, resting his elbow on the bed and his head in his hand.

"I think the biggest mistake Zetsu made in the last timeline was letting Yahiko get killed," said Jiraiya. "Evil Yahiko could have persuaded entire countries to fight for him."

Like they had so often over the past couple weeks, the three of them fell into an awkward silence, trying to figure out how to interact with one another. Externally, their experience allowed them to seamlessly unify, and they were familiar enough with one another to make plans and put up a front worthy of the ninja they were known for being. After all, though they hadn't seen one another in a decade, Jiraiya and Tsunade spent their childhoods until their late twenties together, and things like that were not easily forgotten. Kakashi was close to Tsunade, even if she didn't remember it, and Jiraiya was projecting some of his feelings about his old friend onto Kakashi, creating a bond there, too.

Internally, though, when they no longer had to pretend to be other people, and weapons were put away, and it was just _them_ , the strained, half-familiarity was what made things uncomfortable and bizarre, akin to going on a delicate mission with two exes.

Jiraiya, in particular, had been in that scenario a few too many times to know that it never went well.

"So, our plan," said Tsunade, not wanting to dwell on it. "How exactly are we talking to these people?"

"If Jiraiya continues to play the extrovert," said Kakashi. "It gives me an excuse to hang back and talk to people alone, which would be perfect if Yahiko wasn't also the center of attention. So, to start, I think we should play to our strengths and each grab the orphan that makes the most sense."

"I entertain Yahiko," guessed Jiraiya. "While you and Tsunade start warming up to Nagato and Konan."

Kakashi nodded. "Yahiko wants to support the world, but the two of them are the one's supporting him. If we can get them to trust us—" It both was and wasn't funny, as things tended to go in grim situations, and a bleak smile crossed his face. "—we can build the foundations for peace."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, finding it further on the "wasn't funny" end of the spectrum than he did.

"I think it's a good start," said Jiraiya. "We should play it for two weeks and then reevaluate. That gives us a month to try and get you and Yahiko alone a couple of times."

"You make it sound like I'm trying to seduce him," said Kakashi.

"If you fuck up the union plan, you might have to." This earned him a well-deserved bird from Kakashi, but it didn't phase him. "We shouldn't rush things, but we should drop the news about Hanzō and Danzō shortly after you're confident you've convinced him of your Shinobi Union thing and tell them to keep quiet until January. We can get back to Konoha faster, which I'm sure the kids will appreciate, because that's where we told them we were going in the first place."

"God, they must be so confused," said Tsunade, after giving a closed-mouth, barely-humored laugh. "We basically kidnapped two of them and forced them to stay with a cult."

"You know what they say," said Kakashi. "Exposure to cults at a young age builds character."

"Would you say," said Jiraiya, trying far too hard to look serious. "It builds the foundations for peace?"

Grabbing the closest object to her—Kakashi's pillow—Tsunade threw it at Jiraiya's face, and he lazily blocked it with a smirk on his face, even her superior strength not enough to counteract the wind resistance and softness of the pillow to do any real damage. A moment later, he paused, and the humor left him, the ghost of his smile still barely clinging to his face.

"When are we going to talk about the fact that we're being played?" he asked.

"I don't have any new revelations for you on that topic," said Kakashi.

"But, we _are_ being played," said Jiraiya. "There's no way in hell that you coming back on the morning of the Kannabi Bridge mission was a coincidence."

"Yes," said Kakashi softly, slumping back against the post a little further. "We are being played."

Looking back on his last lifetime, Kakashi realized that he'd taken the short amount of time that the peak weirdness and magnitude of conflict occurred for granted. Though the Fourth Ninja World War was a whirlwind like he'd never experienced, it _was_ a metaphorical ripping-off-the-bandage—by the time he had properly processed everything, it was long over, and the need to wonder was gone. This time around, however, the second apocalypse was theoretically eighteen years away, leaving plenty of time for it to plague him.

Tsunade and Jiraiya were still in the "processing" phase, if trying to ignore everything around them so they could sleep at night could be considered processing. Both thought they had hit rock bottom, but life, as it always did, continued to outdraw them, and in the flash of a moment, they found out that rock bottom was far below what either of them had hit. Their situations, the entire world's situations, were so worse than they could have dreamed, and it shook them in ways that even Jiraiya found hard to articulate.

"If I had to guess," said Kakashi. "Kaguya and Zetsu managed to come back, too, otherwise this was a shitty plan on her part. But, if that's the case, there's no reason that I would have needed to come back to save Obito, because Zetsu could have just told Madara to pick a better successor."

"I'd say that maybe she just wants you to make a lot of changes," said Jiraiya. "Hoping that something you do causes the war to go in her favor, but it's all the wrong changes. She would want to make changes that drive the world apart, and you, no matter when you were brought back, would always inevitably use your future knowledge to bring everyone together sooner. We've already grabbed Kabuto, we're already in the Rain trying to bring the Akatsuki on our side, we're already making plans to kill Danzō…why would she have you come back at the one time you could fix as much as you wanted to?"

"Is there a way that Kaguya could have even banked on Kakashi touching the crystal in the first place?" asked Tsunade. "Sure, she would have known that Naruto and Sasuke would've had to go and try to deal with it, but Kakashi and Sakura just went because they felt a sense of obligation and didn't want Naruto and Sasuke to go alone."

"Unless, she was banking on that sense of obligation," said Kakashi. It was a stretch, but he couldn't consider it completely out of the realm of possibility. "Sakura said something when—" _She died_ , added the terrible, little voice in his head, but he wasn't ready to give up hope, wasn't ready to let go, he _couldn't_ , and the words got caught in his throat. "She said, 'I suppose it was always meant to be the four of us, even now—'" _At the very end._ "As I said, I don't like playing the destiny card, but I've seen too much to discount it entirely."

"I don't like any of this," said Jiraiya. "I don't like that we don't know. We're three steps ahead of the rest of the world, but we're somehow three steps behind her. We know absolutely everything except the one thing we need to know most. _Somehow_ , we're being played."

"Either way," said Tsunade. "Are either of you willing to step out of the game? Let Danzō live and hand him Kabuto and Tenzō? Hand over Obito to Madara? Let Minato and Kushina die?"

Jiraiya's and Kakashi's silence spoke such great volumes that none of the three even felt it was worth acknowledging.

"Minato and Kushina," said Jiraiya, steering the conversation back towards something productive. Despite the Armageddon and everything else, their deaths—the thought of losing them—were still haunting him the most. "Best case scenario, we prevent the attack from happening altogether, but worse comes to worst, as long as we make sure we're there and everyone's prepared, Minato should be fine, but—" Jiraiya looked at Tsunade. "—what are the odds of Kushina surviving the extraction?"

"She's an Uzumaki, so she's got a better chance than most," said Tsunade. "The extraction killed Mito, but they only extracted it after she was dying. Childbirth will make it harder for her, but if she's otherwise fine and she receives proper medical care in time, I say she's got a chance."

Jiraiya got a weird look on his face. "Could you survive the extraction?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're an Uzumaki and you've got that thing," said Jiraiya, nodding to the seal on her forehead. "Which makes you nearly immortal as long as you're conscious. If it got ripped out of Kushina, and we put it in you until Naruto was old enough, could you survive the extraction?"

Though her first instinct was to argue, and she probably _should_ have argued, and though Kakashi knew Tsunade's first instinct was the argue, and he probably _should_ have tried to prevent the bizarre altercation that could follow Jiraiya's words, neither could force the words to come out. If no one else, Tsunade _could_ —

Before any of them could say anything else on the matter, the kids knocked and peeked in through the door, and the adults snapped back into character like nothing was the matter. However, it was not forgotten.

But, more on that later.

(Unease)

Their first night in the Rain, Tenzō woke up screaming.

It was hard to say which of the adults was awake first, differing only by milliseconds, but Kakashi was the first at his side. Jiraiya's first response was to pull a weapon and Tsunade's was to look around wildly for Shizune and prepare to grab her and bolt, so it took them both a couple seconds of blinking the sleep out of their eyes to fully register who was yelling and why.

"Cramped," repeated Tenzō, looking around frantically without seeing anything, the rest of his body unmoving as if invisible binds were holding him to the bed. "Cramped. Cramped."

"We're in the Rain, remember?" asked Kakashi softly, unsure of what words he should say to comfort him. "We're far away, in the Rain."

"Three thirty-five," said Tsunade, looking at her watch, her voice breathless as she tried to compose herself. By this point, Shizune and Kabuto were awake and sitting up in bed, and Jiraiya and Kakashi both shushed the one closest to them. "Someone remember three thirty-five."

"What do we do?" asked Jiraiya.

"Wait for it to ride out," said Tsunade. "It'll pass."

For four-and-a-half disquieting minutes, they stood in silence and watched Tenzō's night terror (except for Kakashi, who was trying to quietly but hastily explain to Kabuto what a night terror was), deliberately not making eye contact with one another in the uncomfortableness of the moment. Eventually, it _did_ pass, and Tenzō's body relaxed into the bed in sleep. No one dared to move for several moments, almost afraid it would start back up again.

"Don't…don't mention this to him tomorrow," said Tsunade. "There's a chance, when he wakes up, that he won't remember it."

* * *

He didn't.

* * *

Their first couple of days with the Akatsuki were surprisingly mundane. In many ways, the Akatsuki was similar to the ANBU; there was the same sort of forced routine that came from desperately clinging to normalcy in an abnormal life. In depth mission work and plans weren't discussed outside of meetings, and regular conversations mainly consisted of general happening around the bunker and the passionate discussions and debates that one might expect of a revolutionary group.

Fifteen years ago, Kakashi would have been right in his element. Hokage Kakashi, however, had fallen out of practice with regular life and no longer knew how to be a soldier. He was good at adapting, of course, and showed no signs of this unfamiliarity, but he had trouble shaking the subtle feeling of something being wrong, like looking at a painting on the wall that was tilted just slightly to the left.

He did not discuss it with her, but he could tell Tsunade had yet to fall into her footing, either. Every so often, he caught her staring at her surroundings in disbelief, like if she blinked a few times, she might be back in a casino somewhere.

Jiraiya was harder to read—much harder. He found his use in the group by telling stories, though, using their cover as wanderers to give the occupants of the bunker some much craved tales of the world outside. When he sat at one of the tables in the common area and spoke, everyone naturally gravitated around him, pulling up benches in a half-circle shape to listen. All three of the kids sat at his feet, just as enamored, and Tsunade sat by his side, pretending to be just as enamored. Playing their cover, Kakashi sat behind the crowd.

"What direction did you say that you came to the Rain from, again?" asked one of the Akatsuki members.

"South," said Jiraiya. "Far south. We spent some time hopping from island to island north of the Land of Sea, before taking a boat to the Land of Tea, where we found out about—" Jiraiya gestured around the room. We were nervous, of course, coming so far north, further north than we've been in several months, but we took a boat to the Land of Rivers and went through there, and it didn't give us any trouble."

"We hid out in the Land of Rivers for a while," said Yahiko. "We're thinking of going back, soon, actually. It's usually quiet. They don't tend to care about anyone's problems but their own."

"And what of the southern islands?" asked another member. "We've not heard any information about them in a while. Are they still at peace?"

Jiraiya nodded. "They take after the Land of Rivers. Or, maybe, the Land of Rivers takes after them. They stay out of the mainland wars and stick to their own, if they have to have them. 'Cept, they usually settle their own wars by boat. When we were in the Land of Moon, we saw an old war vessel that was as tall as a mountain and as wide as the sea itself. They say it was used when the Land of Sea started a war with the United Islands—"

It was fascinating how easy stories came to Jiraiya. Kakashi wasn't sure if Jiraiya's story about the sea-bound battle was true, not knowing enough about the islands to say one way or the other, but it didn't really matter. The entire room was silent, captivated by the animated way Jiraiya told his story as he described the war like he was there.

Though Kakashi did not like it as well as his romance novels, of course, as much as he liked giving Jiraiya shit, he was pleasant to listen to. Jiraiya had a way with words unlike anybody he'd ever met. Unlike the other great speakers Kakashi knew, like Yahiko, who spoke to persuade, and Naruto, who spoke to inspire, Jiraiya just spoke to bring people joy for the hell of it.

"Not much for stories?"

Kakashi turned to see a man sit down at his table a couple seats down. He was older than most of the Akatsuki, at least fifty, if not older.

"If you'd heard him talk as much as I have," said Kakashi. "You'd be sick of the stories, too."

The man snorted. "I'm Yuuto, by the way."

"Yoshiki," introduced Kakashi, and they shook hands.

They fell into a natural silence, listening to Jiraiya tell his story, before Yuuto said, "I lost my wife about four years back. It's what motivated me to come here."

"I'm sorry for your loss," said Kakashi.

"I'm sorry for yours."

Though it was part of their cover and therefore unavoidable, Kakashi felt bad for misplacing Yuuto's sympathies. It wasn't of much consequence because it wasn't as if people had a limited capacity to care for others, but it sat wrong with him all the same.

"How are you fairing?" asked Yuuto.

"It's easier with the two of them," said Kakashi, nodding towards Jiraiya and Tsunade. "I don't even want to know where I'd be without out them. But, as you know, there's no good time to lose your wife."

Yuuto nodded. "How are your kids fairing?"

"Dai is taking it pretty badly. There's never a good time to lose your mother, either, and the way she was taken…he still wakes up screaming, sometimes. I like to think Jun's fairing better, but honestly, I think he's just too young to fully understand."

"Give your boys time to adjust. It'll take time for all of you."

"It's just—you take a vow to protect her, right? You go up, and you swear to protect her, and you think you're in the clear." Kakashi wasn't sure where any of this was coming from, but in the spirit of his cover, he didn't try and stop it. "I look back on that moment and I know there was something that I could have done, that I should have done, because I swore to protect her, but she slipped right through my grasp. Now, because I couldn't, she's just…gone forever, and I don't know how to make peace with that."

"I'm going to be honest, kid," said Yuuto, resting his arms on the table. "You might feel guilty for the rest of your life. It's just how things go sometimes. But, your life ain't over. You have to hold onto what you have and piece yourself back together from it. You've still got your boys, and that's a start. You've still got your sister and your brother-in-law and your niece, and that's a start. You've got us, and that's a start. Take all that and don't let go."

Kakashi nodded. "It might take a while," said Yuuto. "And the pain of losing her is never gonna go away completely. But, it'll soften. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it does ease their sting."

 _Will it?_

* * *

Tenzō was not the only one plagued with nightmares during their stay—just the most vocal. Stuck in a habit of sleeping very little since his journey back into the past, Kakashi watched as Tsunade tossed and turned in her sleep and jolted away several times during their second night. He made a show of pretending to be asleep every time that she woke as to not embarrass her, until he finally drifted off somewhere around four thirty.

On their third night, Tsunade figured out that sleep did not have the will to come to either of them and gave up the idea of rest entirely, whispering to Kakashi in the dark, shortly after one in the morning, "Do you want to go spar?"

Hoping the fight would exhaust him to the point of getting some semblance of slumber and glad that Tsunade was finally showing interest in being a functioning ninja again, he agreed.

Because it was an old ninja bunker, there were two rooms available for sparring, so everyone's ninja skills could remain intact when they were trapped inside for most of the time. Neither were taken at the moment, due to the late hour, so they arbitrarily picked the one on the right.

"Ground rules," said Tsunade, as they faced opposite from one another. "Quiet enough to not wake anyone—"

"And no blood?" he guessed.

"No blood."

They hesitated for a moment, both in a defensive stance. Then, Kakashi nodded his head, a gesture which Tsunade returned, and they ran at one another.

It was unfortunate for Tsunade that Kakashi was already very familiar with her fighting style, when she had almost nothing on him to go on. As such, he knew that, even with her perfect chakra control, she favored her right leg over her left. Though it was a bit of a dirty shot, he wasn't sure how many hits he was going to get in after she grew less rusty. Bursting into five clones with a speed Tsunade didn't possess, his clone feigned going at her from the side with a fire jutsu, forcing her to jump away, while he used a small, earth jutsu to grab ahold of her left ankle. As expected, her ankle twisted and she fell, catching herself with her forearms on the floor.

"You're out of shape," he teased, as she smashed the earth holding her leg hostage and returned to her feet.

Narrowing her eyes, she took the offensive this time, coming at him with a series of blows. Kakashi could handle hand-to-hand sparring with almost anyone, but Tsunade and, along the same lines, Sakura, were two exceptions. Event though he was stronger than most, his strength paled in comparison to theirs. His reflexes and speed were far better, but the ability to block a punch mattered less if the punch was forceful enough to rip off the arm he was blocking with.

In a real fight, there were several ways he could have gotten around it, either by using speed to knock out his opponent before they had a chance to attack or by using a combination of powerful ranged jutsu to stay out of melee (though, neither Tsunade nor Sakura were so easily defeated). Usually, however, the point of sparring was to _not_ cause serious harm to one's opponent. Not to mention, because of the "no blood" rule, weapons were completely off the table. So, he was stuck dodging her attacks and tossing a series of elemental jutsu at her to slow her down.

None of them phased her. She either counteracted them with a quick flash of the same element or broke through them with strength alone. He wasn't nearly as fast as he was in his prime, and his stamina was abysmal compared to hers, so he only got a couple more blows in before she started cornering him.

"If you're not a liar," she said, smirking as she noticed him tiring. "You're out of shape, too."

Knowing she was close to getting the upper hand, Tsunade came at him twice as hard to wear down any remaining energy he had. As a last-ditch effort, he swung his arm around and a current of water emerged from it, the current so powerful that it would have swept away almost anyone. Tsunade, however, dove right through it, and her fist collided with the outside of his left shoulder, bringing him to his knees, and a sickening crack echoed throughout the room.

He eyes widened; she thought she was holding back enough to prevent doing any real damage. "Did that just break your shoulder?"

"I broke it a few weeks ago," he said, his voice strained as he got to his feet. "It just…rebroke a little."

"Sit." He did as she asked. Kneeling beside him, she poked at his shoulder to assess the damage. "The bone dislocated, too. Bite down on something and try to relax your shoulders. This is going to hurt like a bitch."

He'd had enough broken bones aligned before to know she was right, so he took off one of his gloves and bit down on it. Placing the fingers on her right hand on the front of his shoulder to feel the break and bracing it with her left hand, she carefully moved the top of his shoulder back in line with the rest of it. It felt like a knife was jaggedly cutting into his bones, and his teeth clenched painfully on the leather in his mouth to try and distract from it. Then, the pain diminished.

"There," she said. Chakra began to pour out of her hands and into his shoulder, starting the process of mending the break, and they sat on the floor of the training room in silence for nearly a minute. "Sorry about that."

"'Come spar with me,' she says," teased Kakashi. "'I'm going to break your shoulder,' she says.'"

"Don't make me break it again."

* * *

Jiraiya noticed that Kakashi and Tsunade left in the night, waking up around three to find their beds empty. But, he didn't have a good opportunity to ask about it until he, Kakashi, and the boys were getting ready to join the girls and the rest of the Akatsuki for breakfast, and he noticed that Kakashi's shoulder was dark purple and twice as large as it should have been.

"Where the hell did you guys go last night?" he asked.

"Sparring," groaned Kakashi, splashing water on his face and attempting to stretch away some of the soreness.

"Considering you still _have_ an arm," said Jiraiya. "She was either going easy on your or she's lost her touch."

"She went easy," said Kakashi. "So, I would try to stay off her bad side."

Jiraiya snorted. "Me? Get on her bad side? I would _never._ "

Logically, Jiraiya had spent enough nights with the two of them over the past couple weeks to know that neither of them slept well, and middle of the night sparring sessions were par for the course for insomniac ninja. However, even though Jiraiya and Tsunade had been friends for nearly twenty-one years before she left, they had not spent a moment alone together since their fight at the hotel, and she had yet to allow any sort of one-on-one conversation between the two of them. If he tried to acknowledge her directly when they were with other people, she would subtly open up the conversation to include the others. With her apparent willingness to be alone with whoever else, Jiraiya was beginning to suspect that Tsunade was intentionally ignoring him.

* * *

"Ninja lesson number one," said Jiraiya, dumping a small pack of square parchment on Tsunade's bed. "Picking up a piece of paper."

Half to entertain Kabuto and Tenzō and half because Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Tsunade were the most qualified teachers those kids were ever going to have, the adults decided that the kids ought to come back to Konoha with a bit of ninja experience. To not take up a sparring room for what was essentially a knowledge lesson, they all crammed inside their room and used Tsunade's bed as a makeshift table. Kakashi, Shizune, and Kabuto were on Kakashi's bed, the former acting as a test dummy for a mini-medical jutsu lesson for the latter two, who were squished nearly on top of Kakashi's back as they concentrated healing chakra into his shoulder. Standing at the end of Kakashi's bunk, Tsunade corrected Kabuto's and, occasionally, Shizune's forms as they went along. By far the most comfortable of the six, Jiraiya and Tenzō sat on Jiraiya's bed.

"Is it going to hurt?" asked Tenzō, looking at the paper warily.

"No, it's not going to hurt," said Kakashi. "It's just a test."

"A test to see if we can pick up a piece of paper?"

"Not quite," said Jiraiya. "There are five types of elemental chakra natures, and each of them is weak to one and strong against another: wind—" He turned up his palm dramatically and a gust of air emerged from his fingertips. "—fire—" A burst of flame took the wind release's place. "—water—" A jet of water swirled out of his palm and extinguished the fire. "—earth—" Clumps of dirt appeared in his hand, absorbing the stream of water. "—and…"

He looked at Kakashi expectantly, unable to do lightning release himself. Rolling his eyes, Kakashi mumbled "drama queen" and shot a small burst of lightning into the dirt in Jiraiya's hand. The first disintegrated, and the leftover pieces spilled out onto Tsunade's bed.

"—lightning," finished Jiraiya theatrically, ignoring Tsunade's outraged, "Hey!"

"Woah," said Kabuto and Tenzō in unison, the former resting his entire body weight on Kakashi's right shoulder as he leaned in to get a closer look, and Kakashi had an arm ready to catch him in case he flipped over it entirely.

"Every ninja is born with an affinity for one of these five elements," said Jiraiya. "Your affinity element will be the easiest for your to learn and master, though it may not be the only one you can use. Most Jōnin, the highest ninja rank, are expected to master two, and some can learn even more than that."

"You can use four?" asked Tenzō to Jiraiya, who nodded.

"How many can you guys use?" asked Kabuto, looking between Kakashi and Tsunade.

"Everything but wind," said Tsunade.

"All five," said Kakashi, which prompted another unified "woah" from the youngest two.

"Make no mistake," said Jiraiya, irritated that the wonder was taken off him. "Yoshiki is the weakest ninja here."

"Who is the strongest?" asked Kabuto.

"Me," said Jiraiya and Tsunade in unison, causing both to narrow their eyes at one another.

"You want to arm wrestle this out?" asked Tsunade.

"Physical strength isn't the _only_ factor that goes into being a strong ninja—"

"If you two are done with your di—" began Kakashi irritably, before remembering that there were children with them, and he thought better of it. "Any day now with the pieces of paper."

"Right," said Jiraiya. "These are special pieces of paper used to determine your nature affinity. Depending on your element, it will react in a certain way when you pick it up. If your affinity is wind, it'll split in half; if it's fire, the paper will burn; if it's water, the paper will get soggy; if it's earth, the paper will turn to dirt; if it's lightning, the paper will crinkle."

"And all we have to do is pick it up?" asked Tenzō.

Jiraiya nodded. "Here, I'll start."

He reached down and grabbed one of the pieces of paper, and it turned to ash in his hands.

"Woah," said Tenzō and Kabuto in unison.

Looking between Kakashi and Tsunade, Jiraiya gestured at the pieces of paper. As soon as they picked theirs up, it wrinkled in their hands.

"Hey," said Shizune, smiling as she picked her piece up; it split into two pieces. "You two really are twins."

"Now," said Jiraiya, lowering his voice dramatically and putting a serious expression on his face. "It's time for the two of you to learn your element."

Neither moved, each looking at the remaining paper in apprehension.

"Go on," said Kakashi, nudging Kabuto.

With a brave face, Kabuto climbed down off the bed and took a deep breath, never taking his eyes of his target. Then, he carefully lifted his chosen piece, and it crumbled to dirt in his hands.

"Earth!" he said excitedly, swirling around to show everyone the soil in his hands, accidentally spilling more onto Tsunade's bed.

"Very good," said Jiraiya. Noticing Tsunade's lips press into a flat, displeased line, Jiraiya wisely brushed all the dirt off her bed before turning to Tenzō. "Your turn."

Able to reach without getting off the bed, Tenzō snatched a piece of paper off the bed as fast as his arms would let him, as if he was afraid the leftover pieces would bite him if he lingered. Instead of one of the usual reactions, Tenzō's paper melted into a pile of mud in his hands.

"What does _that_ mean?" asked Shizune, not knowing it was even possible to get anything besides the normal five.

The adults made uneasy, darting eye contact with one another. Ordinarily, it _wasn't_ possible to get anything besides the documented five reactions. Even for people who specialized in one of the more unique, combination elemental jutsus, they still had a particular element that they favored, which was reflected in the paper. Whatever Orochimaru did to him, it made Tenzō emerge from the test tube _wrong_ —as someone who was not, genetically, a proper human being.

"We'll talk about it later," said Kakashi, who had no desire to communicate that fact to him any time soon. "There's nothing bad about it. It's just…different. But, all of you, you're not to mention that this happened to anyone, understood?"

All three of the kids nodded.

* * *

"Ground rule," said Kakashi, as he and Tsunade stood at opposite ends of the sparring room and faced on another. "Don't break any more of my bones."

His arm wasn't healed enough to spar like they had the night before, so he and Tsunade decided to work on speeding up her reflexes by blocking and dodging his attacks. As his left arm with pinned in a sling, he was only able to throw right-handed punches her way, but his speed still exceeded hers to the point that it didn't matter. Plus, doing normal attacks at half capacity had the added benefit of working his stamina.

"I like this sparring less," said Tsunade, frowning after he'd gotten his eighth hit in.

"All the more reason to do it," said Kakashi. "Your reflexes are terrible."

"You're just enjoying it because I broke your arm."

"If you'd like to get hit less, I'd recommend dodging every once in a while." She sent a death glare his way, so he smartly added, "It's not like we'll be sparring long, anyway."

The Akatsuki always had a couple people keep watch at night, in case of an intrusion or attack. Yahiko never kept watch, busy as he was with all the leadership responsibilities, so Konan and Nagato were paired for watch every few nights. Through some subtle asking around, they managed to figure out that Konan's and Nagato's watch was that night, so they were planning on ambushing them into conversation whenever they showed.

Sometime after two, once everyone besides Kakashi and Tsunade had gone to bed, they heard two sets of footsteps and low voices. Dropping their stances, they left the training room to find Konan and Nagato sitting off to the side of the entry hall.

"We thought we heard your voices," said Tsunade, as they walked over to them.

"Our night for watch duty," explained Konan. "What are you two still doing up?"

"Beating the shit out of one another," said Tsunade. "Want company? I've been losing all night and I'm over it."

"Sure," said Nagato, and Tsunade and Kakashi sat down. "What happened to your shoulder?"

"I lost last night," said Kakashi, nodding his head to Tsunade. "And _someone_ doesn't like pulling punches."

"Look, how was I supposed to know it was going to crack your shoulder?"

"Probably by asking yourself 'is this hard enough to crack someone's shoulder'—"

"How long are you going to whine about this? I've nearly fixed it—"

"Is this a twin thing?" asked Konan, knowing, of course, that they weren't actually twins, but unsure of how else to interrupt them and keep their cover.

Kakashi and Tsunade shrugged. Bickering, of course, was good for their cover, as families were usually prone to do so. However, bickering had become a bizarre coping mechanism for Kakashi, Tsunade, and Jiraiya, getting their minds off of the weirdness happening around them.

"No Yahiko?" asked Tsunade, not wanting to divulge the fact that they'd inquired in depth about nightshifts.

"Yahiko doesn't keep watch," said Konan. "He has more responsibilities than we do, and he uses his time prepping for meetings and communicating with other members, so Nagato and I are paired for watch instead."

"When's the next meeting?" asked Kakashi.

"We aim for about every two weeks," said Nagato. "Sometimes sooner, if something important happens, but never longer. Yahiko thinks it's bad for morale if we don't meet regularly."

They were starting to notice that "Yahiko" was a consisted conversation topic among them. As they were limited on what they could discuss due to their cover and the need for secrecy, Kakashi decided to keep it.

"He seems like he's good at boosting morale," said Kakashi. "He's a great speaker."

A light blush crossed over Konan's cheeks, and she looked down at her hands, as if embarrassed by it, and smiled. "Yeah, he is."

"How long have you guys been doing this?" asked Tsunade.

"A few years," said Konan.

"It was Yahiko's idea, of course," said Nagato, less flustered in praising Yahiko than Konan. "To bring a bunch of people together. He's always been good at this kind of thing. At first, it was just us and a few friends, and then it just kind of exploded."

"Does anyone hold it against you three?" asked Tsunade. "That you're so young?"

"No," said Konan. "Everyone listens to Yahiko."

Acting like she was stretching her back, Tsunade turned away from the orphans to inconspicuously give Kakashi an uneasy look out of the corner of her eye, which he took to mean something along the lines of "Kakashi, what the fuck have you dragged me into?" He had to admit, something about Yahiko made him uneasy, too. Nagato and Konan unsettled him on principle (they did level his village and murder him; things like that are hard to get past), but Yahiko was a wildcard that threw him off his game.

"We knew someone sort of similar to you, once," said Kakashi to Nagato, gesturing towards his own eyes, to move the conversation away from Yahiko. "In our old group. He was one of those Uchiha from the Fire country."

"Oh, yeah, with the weird eyes," said Tsunade, playing around. "Shari-something, wasn't it? Shari…"

"Sharingan, I think," said Kakashi.

"That's what it was. Sharingan."

"I've heard of them," said Nagato. "The Uchiha."

Knowing that they were, in all actuality, from Konoha, Nagato gave Kakashi a curious look. If it was worth working into their cover, Kakashi hoped he concluded, it was something significant.

"Would you spar with me, sometime?" asked Nagato to Kakashi. "If you ever watched your old friend fight, maybe I can learn something."

"Sure," said Kakashi, shrugging. "I can't promise how much I remember, but it's worth a shot."

"You can't out in the open," said Konan, grabbing Nagato's arm protectively, her voice dropping so low that it was barely audible. "No one can know what all you can really do."

"When's the next time you have watch?" asked Tsunade. "I can keep lookout with you while the boys go do their thing."

"That sounds fair," said Nagato to Konan, almost half assuring her and half asking for her permission.

"Fair enough," said Konan, relenting. "We're scheduled for watch again two nights from now."

"I'll just be glad to spar with someone other than her, to tell you the truth," said Kakashi, nodding over to Tsunade, who shot him a glare.

"Do be careful, though, Nagato," said Tsunade, in a sickly-sweet voice. "He's very brittle. Didn't drink enough milk as a child, apparently."

"And do be careful, Konan," said Kakashi, shooting a glare back. "Should someone attack you on your watch, she can't dodge worth a damn, so really the only thing she'll be useful for is a human shield."

"Only thing I'm good for, huh?" asked Tsunade. "I suppose your shoulder's going to have to stay broken, then, because I'm not 'good' enough at anything to fix it."

"What do you think Kaiya is for?"

"Kaiya only listens to me."

"Then, what do you think I have _Jun_ for?"

"Is this why you two spar at night?" asked Nagato, as he and Konan looked on uncertainly, both unsure if they should be humored or afraid. "So this—" He made an open-hand, circling gesture. "—doesn't bleed into the daytime?"

"Probably," said Tsunade.

* * *

Jiraiya did not know what time Kakashi and Tsunade came back to the room, but he knew it was late; when he woke up shortly before five, their beds were still empty, and when he and the kids woke up for good at seven, the two of them were still out cold. Concerned about their near constant sleep deprivation, he elected to let them sleep and ushered the kids out of the room as quietly as they could manage.

When they arrived at breakfast, Jiraiya noticed that Yahiko was missing, and after a little bit of inquiry, found out that he was in one of the war rooms, prepping some plans. He told the kids to stay at breakfast ( _stay together_ , he reiterated) and went to find him.

The door to the war room was cracked ajar, no doubt to let someone know that Yahiko was inside should there be an emergency, and through the crack Jiraiya saw Yahiko peering over a series of papers. Jiraiya knocked and peeked his head inside.

"Have a second?" asked Jiraiya.

"Yeah, of course," said Yahiko, with a wide smile, waving him in. "Shut the door, won't you?"

Jiraiya did as he asked and sat at the table. "Always keeping busy, huh?"

"Have to," said Yahiko. "There's a lot to do."

"You're handling it very responsibly, at least," said Jiraiya.

Yahiko looked pleased with that. "So, now that you've been here a few days, what do you think of everything?"

"I'm impressed," said Jiraiya. "You're doing good things here."

"Yeah?" asked Yahiko.

There was a quick flash of uncertainty in his voice—his unending confidence slipping for a moment—seeking Jiraiya's approval. Yahiko might have been clever and charismatic beyond all measure, but he _was_ still just a kid, a kid just as in need of saving as Kabuto and Tenzō. With Yahiko kept alive and with Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Tsunade rekindling a friendship with the three orphans, the Akatsuki could be a completely different organization in this timeline; they could be a force used for good.

"Yeah," said Jiraiya. "You three have come a long way."

"Well, it's like you always said," said Yahiko, dropping his voice low enough to nearly be a whisper. "You can't expect the world to be good. You have to be the goodness in the world." Yahiko shuffled through some of the papers in front of him, skimming them over as he did. "So, we try, at least."

Jiraiya almost took his leave there, as Yahiko _did_ appear to be too busy for his company, but Yahiko apparently didn't mind, because he said, "So, you know what we've been up to. How has the last decade treated you?"

"About the same as the last, truthfully. Filled with missions, ended in a war—"

"Still lugging three kids around," joked Yahiko, grinning.

"Best, yet," said Jiraiya, grinning, too. "They're still not mine." He relaxed back into his chair. "Wrote a book, which was new. It sold terribly, though."

"What's it called?"

" _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi._ "

"I think I might have heard of it—"

"No, you haven't."

"I haven't," admitted Yahiko. "Do you have a copy on you?"

"No," said Jiraiya. "Not so great for cover."

"That's a shame. I would've liked to read it. I've always enjoyed your stories, and from the way the rest of our organization listens to you, I'd say they do, too." Satisfied with whatever he was doing, Yahiko stacked the papers surrounding him and placed them in a crate beside the table. "Thank you, by the way."

"For what?"

"Everything, really. This entire organization—its goals, its ideals, its plans, _us_ —owes its creation to you."

Knowing what he knew, Jiraiya was not as flattered as Yahiko was intending him to be. "Then, I have a favor to ask of you," said Jiraiya, forcing a serious expression on his face.

"Yeah?" asked Yahiko, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you three still have those frog costumes I gave you?"

* * *

Tsunade awoke after a strange, vivid nightmare, shaken by the experience, and Kakashi awoke to the sound of her sitting up violently, checking her watch, and yelling, "Oh _fuck_."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, sitting up just as violently.

"It's _noon_ ," she said, tossing her watch to him as if he needed proof of her claim instead of just trusting that she wouldn't lie about something as mundane as the current time. "We slept until _noon_."

"I mean, we went to bed at six," said Kakashi, attempting to rub the sleep out of his eyes. None was truthfully later in the day that he'd slept in a long time, but it didn't _disturb_ him. "Sometimes, when people are tired, they do this thing called sleeping in—"

"Oh, shut up." Tsunade ran her hands through her hair and they hovered awkwardly about three inches past the end, as she forgot, in her haziness, that her hair was only shoulder length in her current form. After she took a deep breath, her tone softened. "Sorry, I...strange dreams. Very strange dreams."

He nodded, accepting her apology. "At least we got closer to Nagato and Konan."

"Yeah." Though her fogginess was beginning to lift, her uneasiness only grew worse as she processed their conversations with the pair the night before. "I don't like this. I don't like _them_. There's something off about the three of them that terrifies me."

"I'm sure a lot of people would say that about the Sannin."

"I mean it, Kakashi," she said sharply. "If anything starts to go south, we have to kill them."

"You're not about to start claiming prophesy dreams, are you?" She shot him a glare, so he continued, "I assure you, I have no love for them. If something goes down, it won't be me you have to convince."

"You think you'll be able to do it?" asked Tsunade.

"Yes," said Kakashi, without hesitation. "Jiraiya's a lot of things but being lenient on the things that matter isn't one of them. If it comes to it, he'll do the right thing."

"He's always been stupidly selfless when it comes to things like that," she muttered.

 _Not like me_ , she thought; just like the man in front of her, she had let her brokenness get to her a few too many times. _Not like you_.

Definitely _not like Orochimaru._

For her own sanity, she tried desperately not to think about her old teammate, had since their journey began, but it was all beginning to seep through the door she had locked her thoughts behind. Her anxiety about the Akatsuki was bleeding into her anxiety about Orochimaru, which was bleeding back into her anxiety about the Akatsuki, and it was all bleeding into her anxiety about her swift departure from retirement and the end of the world. _We have to kill them_ was starting to warp into _we have to kill him_.

Noticing the panic in her eyes and the vaguely green tint on her face, Kakashi gave her a long, hard look, wavering, as he always did, on the line between asking and not, and it bothered her. Not only did he look at her like he knew her well, despite her only having met him a couple weeks ago, his eyes wandering across her to study her facial expression and body language, he _did_ know her well. He completely held the upper hand in their friendship, as she knew next to nothing about how to predict his actions, reactions, and thoughts.

She appreciated, too, that looking through the lense of power struggles to interpret friendship was a weird way to look at them, but theirs was a weird situation. Unlike Jiraiya, she could not look at and treat Kakashi like Sakumo nor did she want to, as she felt like Kakashi would not appreciate it. From Kakashi's retelling, it seemed like he had barely talked to Jiraiya in his previous lifetime, while she and Kakashi talked often and in a way that others couldn't understand.

She didn't like that he knew her as well as he did, but she did, all at the same time. In the opposite camp, it was nice to have someone who already understood her without her having to explain herself or anything else, and the easiness was why, still, she preferred to talk to him more so than any of their other company.

"I'm not ready," was all she could think to say about it, both to save him the trouble of asking and to assure him that, one day, she _would_ be ready, and that she wasn't thinking about bolting—mostly. "Not yet."

"C'mon, then," he said, rolling off his bunk and searching for his shoes. "Let's go grab lunch and find the others. God knows what Jiraiya has them doing."

* * *

Just as Jiraiya hoped, the three kids in the frog costumes were adorable.

Sitting on the floor of the training room, neither Shizune nor Tenzō were pleased with their predicament. Unable to fit inside the costume, Shizune settled for only wearing the hood and letting the rest of it dangle behind her like a cao. She was already embarrassed enough that Kakashi got to pretend to be an adult while she couldn't, despite him being younger than her; if he caught her in this, she left like she might die of humiliation. Tenzō, as a malnourished nine-year-old, fit into the costume just fine, but he wasn't sure he liked being inside the encompassing garment and wasn't sure of its purpose regardless.

On the other hand, Kabuto, with all the enthusiasm of a five-year-old, was thrilled.

"Ninja lesson number two," said Jiraiya, "Before you can learn how to use ninjutsu, you must learn how to control your chakra. Without that mastery, your jutsu with be unstable and you will tire too easily. But, with it, you will be able to perfect your favored ninjutsu, create illusions with genjutsu, and even—" He took a few steps up the nearest wall so his body was parallel with the ground. "—walk on walls."

"Woah," said Tenzō and Kabuto in unison.

"So, for today's lesson," said Jiraiya, stepping back down. "You must channel your inner frog, stick to the walls, and run all the way up to the ceiling." He turned towards the girl who was half glaring at him and half trying to respectfully pretend that she wasn't. "Shizune, why don't you show them how it's done?"

Pulling her hood down far enough that she was certain it wouldn't fall off, Shizune walked up the back wall with ease, touched the ceiling, and, just as smoothly, walked back down.

"Now, it's your turn," said Jiraiya to the boys, and they go to their feet. "Pool your chakra into your feet and extend it into the wall as you climb." He crouched down so he was closer to their level and stretched out his arms in a dramatic "ta-da" gesture. "Ready?"

"Ready," they confirmed.

"Then, on your mark—" Looking at one another, the boys narrowed their eyes, silently entering into a challenge. "—get set—" In focus, they both turned back towards the wall. "—go!"

The two gave a war cry that, in their tiny voices, sounded more like a long, chaotic scream, and they sprinted towards the wall. Not only did Tenzō not stick to it, he kicked the wall so hard when he first made contact that it sent him flying backwards over a meter, and he had to flail his arms behind him so that his head wouldn't make forceful contact with the floor. Kabuto's first step managed to stick, but the second did not, and he was so focused on running up the wall that, in his inexperience, he did not brace himself for the fall back down and landed flat on his back.

"Good try," said Jiraiya, as Shizune burst into a fit of giggles. The boys clamored back to their feet and retook their place. "But, you're focusing too much on _force_ to get up the wall. Think like a frog; you should stick not sprint. Your chakra and the energies in the wall should merge together."

With the same war cry, the boys ran back at the wall, their only success this time being that they fell more gracefully.

Taking pity on her, Jiraiya did not make Shizune do chakra control exercises, as there was nothing he could teach her about chakra control that Tsunade hadn't and then some. Instead, as Kabuto and Tenzō continued to try and touch the ceiling, they worked on various jutsus, Jiraiya assessing what she was currently capable of and what she had the potential to do, until Kakashi and Tsunade appeared in the doorway, the latter looking between the three kids incredulously.

"What the fuck are they wearing?"

* * *

Still exhausted from their late night before, Tsunade collapsed into sleep the moment they retired for the evening, leaving Kakashi without a sparring partner. Thought Tsunade had healed his arm enough that he no longer needed a sling, it still wasn't at one-hundred-percent, so he was content to go alone. However, Jiraiya, still curious about him, offered to be his sparring partner instead.

"This feels less fair than Tsunade," said Kakashi, smiling despite it, as they stood opposite in the training room.

"Scared?" asked Jiraiya.

"Smart."

Their conversation died there. Though they had developed a penchant for bantering with one another a few weeks ago, since they arrived in the Rain, they quickly ran out of things to say to one another without _her_ somewhere in the middle (though, it was not as if she would allow Jiraiya to speak to her one-on-one, either). Jiraiya wanted to convince himself that their conversational deficit was just caused by a lack of things to talk about in general, as they were trapped in an underground bunker. But, conversations flowed just fine when there were more people involved, and there was a lot Jiraiya theoretically wanted to talk to Kakashi about, and Kakashi and Tsunade were talking at least _some_.

So, if he was being honest with himself, he was, in a weird way, jealous of Kakashi—at least, of Kakashi's relationship with Tsunade. Jiraiya had known Tsunade for _thirty-two years_ , even if she had been gone for ten of them, and she was barely acknowledging his existence. Meanwhile, Kakashi swooped in a few weeks ago, convinced her to come out of retirement, something that _no one_ had managed, and became her favored conversation partner. Time travel, was, logically, a sound explanation for those things, but, emotionally, it did not make him feel any better about Kakashi being able to do what he could not.

"Ready, then?" asked Kakashi, when the silence lingered too long, and Jiraiya nodded.

He sparred with Kakashi in a similar, observing way that he sparred with Shizune, though it was less of a teaching exercise, and he was far more willing to kick Kakashi's ass. It wasn't properly a challenge, particularly since Kakashi could barely use one of his arms, but he _was_ a good ninja, and if they were in an environment where Kakashi could have found cover, the fight would have been a lot meaner. Even in the empty training room, there were moments where Kakashi seemed to blink out of existence entirely before throwing a sneak attack Jiraiya's way. However, his biggest hindrance was his unfamiliarity with his new body; there were several moments he stumbled, thinking that he could do something he could not, and he clearly tired far faster than he was intending.

In the back of his mind, Jiraiya had several questions he wanted to ask Kakashi. Kakashi was fairly reserved and only shared personal information or stories if he thought he had to, hence the time travel conversation and whatever the hell he told Tsunade afterwards, and then not a peep since. So, he knew any inquiries would have to be seldom, strategic, and subtle if he hoped to extract information from the guy who was _just_ a little too good at mind games. Jiraiya wanted to hear more about Naruto, about how the Third and Fourth Ninja World Wars affected the politics, economics, and social culture of the world, about his books so that knowing about their existence ahead of time wouldn't cause him to fuck them up, about the microdetails of the next twenty-four years so he could paint a better picture of the world in his mind.

But, instead of asking about any of those things, he asked the one question he felt stupidest for having and even stupider for going to Kakashi for the answer, because he really _ought_ to have known.

"Is she avoiding me?"

Kakashi gave him a long, hard look, which he suspected was less to search for anything in his demeanor (because, what didn't Kakashi know at this point?) and more to buy himself time to think of something to say. "Probably."

It was the answer Jiraiya had been expecting and bracing himself for, but that didn't make it anymore welcome. Sensing his crestfallennes, Kakashi added, "She's not ready to talk, yet. Give her time. She'll come around."

Somehow, that made it worse. Though it was uncanny that Kakashi knew so much about him, even when he knew so little about Kakashi as a person beyond his actions in his retelling, it did not bother him nearly as much as the fact that Kakashi knew so much about Tsunade, and he all but confirmed the other suspicion Jiraiya had—that even though she was dodging Jiraiya's attempts to talk, she was actively confiding in Kakashi.

He was being foolish for caring in the first place, because she did not _owe_ him anything. And, it was petty and more than a bit cruel to take out something on a man who'd lost everything and, unless he was just actively shit-talking Jiraiya behind his back, wasn't even at fault. However, neither of those things stopped Jiraiya from being a little less merciful during their sparring session as he should have been.

* * *

"Ninja lesson number two," said Tsunade. "Anatomy and injuries."

Once again convinced to be the test subject for a lesson, Kakashi, beaten from the night before, was lying rather pitifully on the training room floor, face-down and with his shirt off, displaying an impressive collection of wounds. The two boys sat crisscross by his side, each holding a chart with labeled parts of the body that was drawn by Tsunade, and their teacher for the day sat on the other side of him, her knees drawn lazily to her chest. As Shizune was too advanced for a basic medical lesson, Jiraiya continued their jutsu practice at the other end of the room.

"Depending on the part of the body," continued Tsunade. "Injuries are treated differently. For example, when Yoshiki's shoulder broke, we put it in a sling until we could heal it, but if I were to break his leg—"

"Please don't," said Kakashi.

"—we would put it in a cast, instead."

"What if we don't want to be medical ninja?" asked Tenzō, not taking his eyes off the chart.

"It's important to memorize the parts of the body and their treatments, regardless. Some injuries are more dire than others, and you need to learn how to stabilize your allies until qualified personnel can reach you. Basic medical training can be life or death for your teammates."

Still not making eye contact with her, Tenzō's face grew pale.

"Are you squeamish or something?" asked Tsunade, wondering if they had overlooked some other trauma from the lab.

"No," he said, his voice sharp with the sullenness of a nine-year-old, but it wavered as he said it.

"Good." His reaction still struck her as odd, but for the sake of the lesson, she was content to put it aside for the moment. "We'll start simple. To help you memorize the chart, I'm going to point out some of his injuries, and the two of you are going to use it to tell me what muscle they're on. Jun, you start; identify the location of the bruising on his back."

Either too young or too blind to have perfect spatial reasoning, Kabuto stood up, placed the chart by Kakashi's head, and gently poked his injury. Then, with his other hand, Kabuto traced the body of the picture in the diagram so that it landed on the same spot as Kakashi's bruises.

"Rhombus!" he said excitedly.

"Rhom _boid_ , but close," said Tsunade, though it was enough of a success for Kabuto. His grin grew even wider as he took back his place by Tenzō. "Now, Dai, the cuts by his shoulder."

The paleness in his face only growing worse, Tenzō darted his eyes back and forth between Kakashi and his chart several times, before sneaking a glance at her, and, when they made eye contact, turning back towards Kakashi. At first, Tsunade wondered if he was afraid to guess the wrong thing, put off by the volatile and unpredictable nature of the adults in his life (after all, they did keep randomly beating the shit out of one another). After a few moments of watching him, however, it struck Tsunade that she might have neglected to check for an important prerequisite for this lesson.

"Dai," she said, lowering her voice, as the question was not in line with their cover. "Do you know how to read?"

Shifting ever so slightly, Kakashi tilted his head out of the nest he created with his arms, to see Tenzō in his peripheral vision. Shizune appeared to not have noticed the question, but Jiraiya _did_ , subtly flickering his eyes over towards them in time to see Tenzō shake his head. None of the adults were bewildered by the revelation, as Tenzō spent the first chunk of his childhood stuck in a tree with a clan who would die if they left, so education probably wasn't their top priority, and the rest of his childhood stuck in a test tube, but it did catch them off-guard.

"We'll just add it to ninja lessons, then," said Kakashi quickly, but with his usual, laid-back tone that had an impressive ability to make things sound like weren't a big deal. "Maybe your uncle's poetry will finally be good for something."

Jiraiya shot Kakashi a half-hearted glare that did not linger long, instead wandering up to meet her gaze and staying far longer than she would have liked. Even when she turned back towards Kabuto, a gesture she did not want to seem pointed but knew it must have, she felt his eyes hover a few moments more, before he refocused on Shizune. They would have to talk eventually, she knew, but that was a can of worms she was not yet prepared to deal with.

* * *

Though he had always been a man with infamous regrets, Kakashi was, these days, struggling to be a man with anything else.

Over the last few weeks, Kakashi had tried to block all thought from his mind to keep his sanity, stuck in a game of trying not to think about time travel; trying not to think about _his_ Konoha; trying not to think about Team Seven; trying not to think about Kaguya; trying to not think about the fact that he now had legal guardianship over two kids; trying not to think about the fact that they were temporarily living with the Akatsuki.

Today, the game was called "try not to think about the fact that you're fighting the guy who killed you, whom you were pretty content to know was dead," and he was losing. Every single life choice that lead to this moment was almost certainly a mistake, and even though it was a simple sparring match that bordered on a lesson, trying to suppress his flight-or-fight instinct to remain composed felt like challenging a mountain to a wrestling competition.

He wouldn't run—couldn't—but going south, changing his name, and living the rest of his days on an island somewhere was starting to sound really appealing.

"So," said Kakashi, doing his best to ignore how nauseous he felt as he and Nagato stood on opposite ends of the training room. Just beyond the doorway, Tsunade and Konan were sitting on the floor, chatting quietly, and keeping watch on the happenings outside. "Let's see what you can do."

Nagato tucked his bangs behind his ear so that the right side of his face and the Rinnegan it contained were visible.

 _Don't think about dying. Don't think about Sasuke. Don't think about Madara. Don't think about Kaguya._

Of all his sparring partners, Nagato was ironically his most courteous. If anything, he was a little _too_ reserved in his fighting, still unsure of the power his Rinnegan held and not wanting to overdo it—not that, for obvious reasons, Kakashi minded it. However, nearly two decades of Sharingan use taught him that correlating less dōjutsu use with less harm displayed a fundamental lack of understanding of the power possessed, and the teacher in him won over.

"Your eyes aren't a weapon," said Kakashi. "The Rinnegan should be the tool that you use to wield the weapons at your disposal. You're treating your eyes like a sword instead of an arm."

"What do you mean?" asked Nagato.

"Say I'm wielding two kunai," said Kakashi, drawing two from his belt. "In a fight, both of my arms have to be on the offensive, but they have to be other things, too. They have to block enemy attacks. They have to steady me, if I lose my balance, or help me navigate through my environment, should the need arise. They have to be prepared to move from the kunai to another weapon or jutsu. I can hope my skill with a kunai is good enough that I won't need any of those things, but one day I might find that I'm not the most powerful person on a battlefield."

"So, I use too much offensive?"

"No," said Kakashi. "Just not enough of the others. You were given powers of observation that most people could never dream of, so use them. You were given unique jutsu that can be used to defend yourself, so you don't _have_ to go on the offensive as much. And, most importantly, you need to learn to attack, defend, and observe all the same."

Though Yahiko was harder to predict than Nagato, Kakashi _understood_ him far better. People like Yahiko were not common by any stretch of the imagination, but they weren't unheard of, either. Villages and civilizations were usually founded by Yahiko's—people with grand-scale visions and the charm, eloquence, confidence, and intellect to pull it off. Minato was one of those people—though of the humbler variety—as was Danzō—though of the eviler variety. In a less complicated life, Sasuke might have been. Though they were never ordinary and could easily border on a God-complex, they were, at their heart, people with comprehensible goals who could look at the big picture and see which pieces of the puzzle to move to accomplish them.

On the other end of the spectrum, there were people like Sasuke turned out to be, like Orochimaru, like Obito, like Madara—a type that was deceptively similar to the other but altogether quite the opposite. Though still frighteningly intelligent and charismatic, Sasuke's were more manic than they were rational, thrived on escalation instead of expansion, cared more about the grand-scale than the vision, and had no problems trimming down the word "God-complex" into just "God."

However, Kakashi could wrap his head around those people, too. As warped as it could often be, there was still a goal at the center of their sights. It ranged from difficult to impossible to determine how they intended to achieve that, but there was still a motive, a want, a fear, a trauma, a _something_ that set off the crux of their problem. They could not always answer the question "why are you doing this?" _rationally_ , but "why not" was an answer all the same.

(There was, of course, always the chance he had just spent too much time around murderous Uchihas to not be used to the experience. Even outside of himself, though, there was no one who could sit down and talk to Sasuke for more than a couple minutes, without, upon being asked about the experience later, nodding and answering "yeah, I can see him trying to take over the world a few times." Even now, though Kakashi _was_ convinced he was committed to non-evil and going to do right by Sakura, there were times it was very apparent that Sasuke's rationality came exclusively from mirroring and taking cues from Naruto and Sakura, instead of an actual sense of inner stability.)

As Pain, Nagato dabbled in Sasuke-dom, but good Nagato fell into neither of those categories. He was kind, quiet—shy, even—and despite his ruby hair and violet eyes, he was half as likely as Yahiko to stand out in a crowd. Nagato was the sort of person you expected to see as your neighbor instead of as your village leader.

Yet, hiding beneath that, even now, with a sane mind, he had the arrogance to consider himself a God, and Kakashi neither understood nor knew how to reason with him.

Still, while Kakashi did not trust Nagato in the slightest, he _did_ trust Naruto, and Naruto found good in him. Naruto found a good in Nagato that he felt was worth redeeming, a good that could be lasting, and though Kakashi loathed him, he owed it to Naruto to teach him and point him in the right direction.

"Here," said Kakashi, sensing Nagato still wasn't getting it. He walked over to their med-kit in the corner, pulled out some gauze, and tossed it to him. "Blindfold yourself."

That earned him a weird look from Nagato, Konan, _and_ Tsunade, ranging from confusion to distrust to mild wondering if he was just going to assassinate Nagato and be done with it respectfully.

"You use your eyes as a crutch," explained Kakashi. "To avoid learning the fundamentals of being a ninja. So, you have to learn to fight without them. No weapons, no jutsu, just your other senses and hand-to-hand combat. Once you've learned, you'll be able to use your eyes like you should."

Nagato and Konan exchanged a brief look, he, once again, both reassuring her and asking her permission. After a few moments of thought, she shrugged, and so he shrugged and wrapped the gauze around his eyes.

"There are many different senses you should learn to use as a ninja," said Kakashi, slowly circling around him. "Hearing. Sensing. Smelling. Feeling. Instinct. If you want to succeed at this exercise, you'll have to learn which combinations to use to figure out where I am. One, two, and—"

As soon as the word "three" escaped his lips, Kakashi kicked Nagato's ankles out from underneath him with a low, sweeping kick, and Nagato was none-the-wiser until it was too late, and he was already falling. If nothing else, Kakashi was good at remaining undetected, something he planned to liberally use here.

"You're still trying to use your eyes," said Kakashi. "I can see you squinting. Now, again—"

Later, Kakashi awoke in a pile of rubble, narrowly missed by a massive crevice, and he jolted into an upright position. A few wooden beams were nearly on top of him, barely holding up a wall or roof from completely crushing him, and he pulled a kunai and searched around frantically to see if he could escape. There were bodies next to him, completely still and covered under collapsed wood, too. He wondered if the fight was over; thinking back to the blood-thirsty eyes, he wondered if they lost.

Blinking a few more times, he realized that he was not buried under anything, just staring at the intact paneling of an upper bunk, and the bodies were the sleeping forms of Tsunade's and Jiraiya's disguises, alive and unharmed.

He was used to nightmares and thought he'd learned to not dwell on them. However, he was not sure if he was relieved to have not woken up in a pile of dust in a leveled village, or grief-stricken that he hadn't, so he could be back there with them. The thought disturbed him so greatly that he felt like he _was_ being smothered, his heart beating so fast that his chest ached and his stomach felt ill, and he had to immediately throw on his shoes and leave the bedroom to get some fresh air.

Tsunade pretended not to have noticed.

* * *

"Ninja lesson number four," said Kakashi. "Weapons."

Both lined up parallel to the long wall in the sparring room and armed with one of Kakashi's kunai, Tenzō and Kabuto looked eagerly at the target in front of them, the latter doing a weird, wiggling dance of impatience. This was the first time they got to do something that involved actual _fighting_ , as opposed to their previous knowledge lessons, which made Tenzō feel grown up enough to return his spirits from yesterday. Kabuto, of course, was just unconditionally excited about everything.

Sensing Shizune's growing resentment of being treated like a child in comparison to Kakashi, Tsunade did _not_ subject her to Kakashi's basic lesson on kunai throwing, instead sparring with her on the other side of the room. Out of the way of both lessons, Jiraiya sat in a corner with several pieces of paper scattered around him, taking the time to write out children's stories for Tenzō to read. They were probably more elaborate and thoughtful than was necessary, but if Jiraiya was to soon publish a new book series, he needed to keep in the habit of writing often. Besides, if he was going to teach the kid to read, he might as well teach him in style.

"For now," said Kakashi. "Don't worry about form. First, you have to learn how to get the kunai to stick in the target, and that's something you have to figure out on your own. Once you start hitting the target consistently, we'll work on technique. Clear?"

The boys nodded. "Then, on your mark," said Kakashi. "Get set…go."

With the same war cry they gave in their chakra control lesson, Tenzō and Kabuto threw their kunai at the target and wildly missed.

"You know, screaming doesn't make your abilities any better," said Kakashi, as they collected their weapons and repositioned themselves. "If you scream every time you do something on a real mission, your enemies will always know where you are."

"Should we croak instead?" asked Kabuto. "Uncle Raiden said being like a frog would help us."

Jiraiya burst into laughter, and Kakashi struggled to not roll his eyes. "I would rather you scream," said Kakashi.

The lesson was an absolute disaster—an adorable disaster, but a disaster all the same. Probably from wearing glasses that didn't match the prescription he needed, Kabuto's depth perception was atrocious, and after an hour, he only got within a meter of the target _once_. Though Tenzō's vision was fine, he was too weak to reliably throw the kunai the way he wanted to, due to muscle wasting from his time in the test tube. Kabuto, even as a scrawny five-year-old, easily had double the strength. Tsunade was not too worried about it, almost certain it was caused by lack of proper nutrients and exercise instead of a disease process, which meant that a good diet and consistent workouts would bring him steadily back to normal.

Even though they were failing miserably and knew it, they didn't let it dissuade them, both determined to outdo the other. Kakashi didn't know whether they were trying to impress the adults, Shizune, one another, or themselves, but each time they lined up, they looked intently, but amicably, at one another in a silent challenge before whipping back towards the target and giving it their best. If nothing else, he was glad they were getting along, because while they would soon leave the cramped quarters in the Rain, the three of them were still going to cram into a one-bedroom apartment.

They were too awful to benefit from any criticism of skill, their only hope of improvement some addressing of their medical problems, so Kakashi was given the time for his thoughts to unwelcomely wander. Though they were different, _so_ different, it was easy for his mind to make comparisons to the last time he had students to teach, of a certain rivalry that motivated them to get better. Students that were laughably mediocre for what they would one day evolve to be.

 _Back when we were little and stupid, and you couldn't stand any of us._

He wanted to pretend like he didn't know why he kept hearing Sakura's voice specifically instead of Naruto's or Sasuke's. But, deep down, he knew why; he was the most protective of her.

It wasn't like he wasn't protective of the other two. Without hesitation, he would die to save any of them, and nor did he think that Sakura couldn't handle herself. After all, she had saved him as much as he had her. But, Sakura still ranked uniquely number one on that list. Maybe it was because she was a girl. Maybe it was because, despite her vulnerable nature and the heart she wore on her sleeve, despite that she loved too openly and too deeply, her desire to save people was so strong that she was willing to dive into trouble minds to push the darkness out, even if it meant inflicting harm on herself. Maybe it was because love had not been kind to her, and for so long she waited on a man whom she had no idea when he would return to her.

For whatever reason, he felt a constant want to protect her, and that's why her voice was the one haunting her. He had failed her, because he was almost one-hundred percent certain the three of them were dead.

Realistically, Naruto's and Sasuke's consciousness had no body to return to. Sakura was technically already conceived when he went back in time, but her brain was not yet developed to retain memories, and every bit of her that managed to come back along with him would have died in an instant.

Kakashi shook himself out of it. He couldn't think about it, about them. Not yet. Right then, his number one priority was to make it through their stay in the Rain. So, he stopped the boys' weapons practice and had them practice running up the wall again, just to give his mind something to do.

 _I suppose it was always meant to be the four of us, even now, at the very end._

He wished it had.

* * *

It was a brave thing to be vulnerable, and Tsunade had not been brave for a very long time. It was easy—easier, anyway—to run, to pretend there was not things and people and _love_ she left behind. When she walked away from the village for the last time, she put on a mask of indifference and drowned all that seeped through with gambling, alcohol, and nomadicy. For her, love became synonymous with pain, and if she did not love, she would not feel pain.

But, she did love. No matter how far she had strayed from Konoha, no matter how long she had tried to convince herself of the delusion, the truth was ever present in the back of her mind. She did not remain on the road because she had given up love; she remained on the road because she hadn't. If she could have shrugged off love like an oversized coat, she could have stayed in medicine, the trauma meaning nothing to her. But, she _did_ love, and love meant blood, so blood meant pain. The one thing that made her worth something in Konoha was the one thing that love would not let her do.

So, she thought, anyway—or, at least, so she liked to pretend. Then came along Kakashi and the future and _her_ future. A future where she was back to practicing medicine. Where she was happy. Where she helped save the world.

It was always love, it seemed, with her. Whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not, there were people she left behind in Konoha who she loved and who loved her: Her old team, though her feelings were very rocky about two of them at the moment, and Biwako. Little Kushina, though not so little anymore, her sole surviving Uzumaki cousin. InoShikaCho, the only genin team that she'd ever been given (only for a couple years, because eventually her skills as a medical ninja were too great for the Third to allow her to do anything else, but long enough that they remained close until she left the village). Countless friends. Hospital staff.

If she did nothing and remained on the road forever, all of those people—at least, those lucky enough to survive until then—were going to be mindless soldiers in an army for a mad god. Including, perhaps most terrifyingly, Shizune. For them, she had to find it in herself to be brave.

"Let's spar using weapons, tonight," she said, as she and Kakashi entered, once again, into the training room. "Keep on theme."

If he noticed her nervousness, he didn't react to it, but she knew he must, particularly after they'd started fighting. She was uncharacteristically unaggressive, dodging more than she lunged, and distracted. Nothing they were doing came close to drowning out her constant awareness that they were swinging sharp objects near skin—what it could mean.

At one point, she was so focused on _not_ hitting Kakashi that she failed to dodge something she should have and that Kakashi expected her to. He was aiming for her arm not her skull, and there was no real force behind it, so the cut across her cheek was shallow. But, it was not shallow enough.

"Sorry," he said, his tone nonchalant and indifferent, as if he was completely unaware that she happened to have a crippling phobia of blood. But, she knew it was for her benefit, because he created a small ball of water in his hand and pressed it against her cheek to prevent the blood from dripping down her face. "I don't know if I've told you this before, but your reflexes are terrible."

"It's lucky for you, if you think about it," she said, glaring at him in irritation, though it was mostly in performance. Inwardly, she was trying to slow her heart rate and the sudden feeling of dizziness, knowing the thing that would break her was so close, and it would only take a drop. Sliding her hand between his hand and her face, she started to heal the cut. "It's about the only thing you've going for you."

"I dunno. I've been told I'm pretty good at tennis."

He did her the favor of not looking at her as she fixed the scratch, pretending to be interested in something across the room, giving her as much privacy as one person could give another standing only fifteen centimeters in front of them, but she knew that, with his peripheral vision, he was watching her regardless. Though she knew he didn't think less of her for it nor begrudged her for the slow pace she was moving along, it was still embarrassing to feel so weak—so vulnerable. She hated having to rely on someone to get by.

"Should be done," she said, after about a minute, removing her hand, and he dispelled the sphere.

"May I?" he asked, after examining her face for a moment, hovering his thumb where the water had been, evidently finding something. She nodded, and he gently wiped off whatever remained. "Alright, you're good."

"You said life gets better if you let it," said Tsunade, before they could resume. "So, how do you let it?"

"My… _medic_ did not share all the details of her research with me," said Kakashi. "Nor would I have understood them if she had. But, from what I remember for things like this, the best thing is repeated exposure. In a controlled environment, start introducing it in small quantities to desensitize yourself to it."

"And if I can't fix myself," said Tsunade. "How is this supposed to work, then?"

Giving her a hard look, her leaned in close to her once more and lowered his voice. "Are you the greatest goddamn medical ninja in the world?" he asked. "Or are you not?"

It irritated her that he knew, with absolute certainty, the answer to that question, and as a byproduct, so did she. So, she resumed their sparring without a verbal warning, instead letting him know by swinging her kunai at his arm, and he grinned.

* * *

Their seventh night in the Rain, Tenzō woke up screaming.

It was hard to say which of the adults was awake first, differing only by milliseconds, but they were all more prepared than last time. By the time Shizune and Kabuto had a chance to wake up, Jiraiya and Kakashi were already shushing them, and Tsunade had her watch ready.

"Three thirty-eight," she said. She and Kakashi had only been in bed for twenty minutes, and she ran her hand through her hair to try and shake off the deliriousness of being woken so early in a sleep cycle. "We need to start waking him up around three twenty and keeping him awake for fifteen minutes. It might…it might help."

For five minutes, they watched his tiny, terrified form look around wildly without seeing, his arms and legs stiff and unmoving as if invisible binds were holding him to the bed.

"Cramped. Cramped. Cramped."

(There Lived a Certain Man)

For the kids, their second week in the Rain somehow passed both slower and faster than their first. On one hand, they had not seen sunshine in any capacity for a while, and cabin fever was beginning to kick in. On the other, they were growing used to one another's and the rest of the Akatsuki's company, and conversation flowed easier and more frequently because of it. They fell into a routine of ninja lessons and, in Tenzō's case, reading lessons that helped to ease the restlessness. Shizune, in particular, was grateful for the influx of training, especially when it came from Tsunade, who, before now, had been so hesitant to engage her directly.

However, Kakashi and Jiraiya had taken to jumping out of nowhere and knocking the kids over while yelling "sneak attack," for which Shizune was significantly less grateful. They claimed it was to improve their passive perception and reflexes, though the kids speculated it had far more to do with the fact that everyone found it hilarious to see them give a surprised squawk and flail to the ground.

Kakashi, thus far, had been impossible to detect until they were already falling, even though Shizune suspected, from the way the adults talked, he was going easy on them. Once, though, Shizune did notice Jiraiya. She didn't succeed in doing anything about it, but she noticeably tried to dodge, which made Jiraiya, after he helped her to her feet, smile, clap her on the back, and say "atta girl." Even though she didn't want to be, she was secretly pleased that he was proud of her.

The week closed with a meeting, but like last time, the adults still didn't let them attend. Shizune tried not to be bothered, like she had so often over the last couple of weeks, that Kakashi, though he was younger than her, got to attend these secret meetings. For the most part, she still had no idea where they were or who they were with, even though Kakashi was completely in the know. So, when Tenzō asked, once the adults were gone:

"What do you think they're talking about?"

She answered:

"Want to go find out?"

In the interest of being sneaky, she wished she didn't have to bring Kabuto and Tenzō with her to go spy, but she understood the wisdom in keeping together. Coaching them in keeping their footfalls quiet, Shizune made her way towards the mess hall with the boys following her like ducklings. She didn't dare try and approach the doorway to peak inside, but they did find a hidden place down the hallway where the voices inside were still audible.

They missed whatever introduction the meeting had, but for a long while, the meeting consisted of nothing but the relaying of news, and Shizune had to quietly explain to the boys what everything meant. The Lightning Village had backed out of combat, making a permanent armistice agreement with all sides. There was talk in the Rock of surrender, though there was talk in the Mist of refusing. The Sand was growing low on resources and getting desperate, and Konoha's Yellow Flash was still dominating the battle fields (Shizune did not know who this was, but she knew that she couldn't ask Tsunade without admitting she had listened in).

Overall, it was rather boring, and other than a brief leap of hope that the war might be coming to a close, Shizune was disappointed they risked discovery to listen to forty-five minutes of reports…until the end.

"It can be difficult to stay attentive during a war," she heard Yahiko say. "To listen on endlessly about death, famine, and destruction. Of the cruel byproducts of war that we know will longer on far longer than the fighting itself, poisoning the world to be weakened to further conflicts. We listen to these things and have to confront the fact that our world is broken.

"But, you are all here, still listening, still moving forward, because you know that we offer another way. We offer something that will save these shattered people. We must go to them, _show them_ the way of the peaceful righteous. With the strength and the knowledge and the conviction we have, we can end their suffering through our teachings. All of the death, the hardships, and the pain that brought all of us here together will be finished."

"My friends," he said, and there was a warm admiration in his voice that struck her, as if he were singly and personally saying these words to her. For a moment, she felt the intensity and the ardor in his voice like it was her own, and even though she barely understood what was happening, she was convicted by it. "My family, my comrades. Let us use the courage and the spirit I see in your hearts to inspire and bring about a new era to this world of ours. We _will_ rise as the dawn."

"We will rise at the dawn," everyone echoed, and there was a moving of chairs, signaling that the meeting had finished.

"C'mon," she said, picking up Kabuto and grabbing Tenzō by the hand to make their escape as quick as possible, before one of the Akatsuki or, worse, the other three member of their company noticed they had some eavesdroppers. Unnerved and confused by Yahiko and his words, listening in, somehow, only reinforced the question she had been asking this entire time.

Where _were_ they?

* * *

Two weeks marked the end of phase one of their plan, and Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Kakashi agreed that they were successful enough to move on to phase two—connecting Kakashi and Yahiko. The meeting gave him a good lead in to start a conversation, so he cornered Yahiko two hours after it ended, when he was sitting alone in the war room making plans.

"Hey," said Kakashi, peeking in the doorway. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," said Yahiko, gesturing towards a seat opposite him, and Kakashi took it.

"Your speech at the end was very moving," said Kakashi. "You're one hell of a speaker."

"It's hardly me," said Yahiko. "It's the truth of the message that brings out the words. I'm merely a vessel for it." Leaning back in his chair, Yahiko took a moment to examine Kakashi. "You're a curious one, you know. I can tell you're not like the others."

That gave Kakashi pause, enough to worry him. "What do you mean?"

"Up on the podium, you get a good look on everyone's faces. I mean every word I say up there. I do see so much heart in them. But, sometimes, I see a lot of uncertainty, in all of them. Not that I begrudge them; how could they not be on occasion, in a world that has beat them down so much as ours? In fact, I am glad for it sometimes, because I know that even with uncertainty, they are brave enough to stay.

"But, not you. You never need convincing. Your face tells me that you're already there."

Even though Yahiko was only eighteen, going up against him was intimidating. His perceptiveness, like his speaking skills, were unlike anything he had ever seen, and it made even Kakashi feel like an unwillingly open book.

But, Kakashi could not so easily be outdone.

"Yes," said Kakashi. "I've been thinking a lot about peace and what peace looks like. I came in here to run something by you on that subject, actually."

"I'd love to hear it."

"Practically," said Kakashi, knowing he needed to find the perfect balance of laying it on thick. "It's a shame to have ninja villages with so much talent and have it wasted in wars amongst ourselves. Ninja should be there to stop that which can't be controlled, like criminals and rouge demons, not to destroy organized society. If there was harmony and cooperation, we could progress so much faster in things that benefit everyone: technology, medicine, mining, agriculture."

"I agree," said Yahiko, nodding.

"Treaties are useless," said Kakashi. "They're nothing more than a temporary ceasefire, lasting only until someone gets inevitably mad about something else and everyone decides to break them. What we need is an alliance—a union. One where each ninja village can elect representatives to discuss and resolve conflicts by way of democracy instead of violence. One that allows each country to have a voice."

He did not want to spill everything to Yahiko for two reasons. First, he wanted Yahiko to come to some of his own conclusions, creating the illusion that it was a collaborative effort partially born from the Akatsuki's doctrine. Second, he did not want to let on just how deeply he'd thought about it and how well put together it sounded.

"It would avoid help power struggles," said Yahiko. His demeanor of attentive listening dropped involuntarily as he began to think, _really_ think. "But, the big villages would object. They like to keep their power."

"It's why they would need to join first," said Kakashi. "Come together themselves to make such a thing happen and think that it was mostly their idea. The villages, not the individuals, are always going to hold the power. We just have to convince them to hold their power in the right way."

Still deep in thought, Yahiko silently rummaged around his notes for a large map of the world, which he laid out on the table. Taking what looked to be whittled-down chess pieces, Yahiko placed the tallest ones on the five major countries and the shortest ones on the minor countries between them. Then, he took small pieces of yarn and taped them between the major villages, studying the trajectories.

"Not like the others at all," said Yahiko, giving his attention back to Kakashi, and the charismatic smile returned. "I want to discuss this more, but I want to gather my thoughts first."

As he left, Kakashi had no idea that, along with the union plan, he had started another train of thoughts in Yahiko, one that the latter did not even tell Konan of, yet. Even though the thoughts were almost antithetical to the Akatsuki's dogma, they bubbled beneath the surface all the same.

But, more on that later.

* * *

Their next talk occurred two weeks later, after the third meeting. Yahiko specifically sought out Kakashi afterwards and beckoned him back towards the war room.

"As promised," said Yahiko, once he shut the door behind them. "I've been thinking. Peace is more than just anti-war; it's anti-suffering, and all suffering contributes to the likelihood of war. When people suffer, they are motivated to change that suffering, and if they cannot change it via voice, they have to change it via violence to survive. A group like your alliance couldn't only focus their negotiations on not fighting. We need something that addresses all fighting.

"But, a handful of people cannot be expected to be experts on everything. A group like this would have to be split into committees, particularly if everyone is to be given a voice, because they have to be given a voice fairly and have the opportunity to put their experts forward. Committees to address all causes of war."

"A committee for each major aspect of human suffering," said Kakashi, and it was his turn to be deep in thought over the matter. Somehow (though he did have some prompting), with only two weeks of pondering, Yahiko was on his way to creating a more coherent plan for the union than they had in a year. It was both impressive and terrifying. "Committee's like those could help all of the villages thrive together. A food and agriculture committee could not only prevent starvation that leads to violent conflict, it could help everyone's farming techniques to grow, contributing to societal advancement."

Yahiko grabbed a piece of paper and began to write. "Okay, what are our main things? Food and agriculture—"

"Health," said Kakashi. "Technology."

"Education."

"Mission equality." Kakashi paused, putting on a show of acting like he'd just had a brand-new idea. "What if there was a system where you have this committee that divvies out missions? Instead of major missions going to individual villages, they go to this committee that then distributes them to the most qualified people from any nation. It removes the problem of particular villages getting missions based on reputation or economic status, instead of skill."

"That's going to even harder to get people to agree to," said Yahiko, though he didn't look opposed. "A lot of the big villages aren't going to like that."

"No," said Kakashi. "But they like war a lot less."

"You're right." Yahiko stared thoughtfully at the piece of paper in front of him for a few moments, before looking back up to Kakashi and grinning. "We have to be the solution."

* * *

" _We're close,"_ said Kakashi the previous night, after the meeting, as the kids were out of the room getting ready for bed, and it was only Jiraiya, Tsunade, and him. _"Get ready to go soon."_

As they were all gathered in the mess hall for lunch, his words still bothered Jiraiya. Though they had been with Tsunade for five weeks, she and Jiraiya were not any closer to settling their issues than they were at the start, and now the clock was ticking even faster. So, he decided he was finished waiting on her.

"Can we talk?" he asked, lowering his voice and leaning in close to her once everyone was distracted by something Yahiko was saying.

Her lips pressed into a flat line, she did not make eye contact with him, and she looked like she was in on the verge of arguing. But, he knew she was not an idiot; she must have been acutely aware of the need for them to discuss what they were going to do once they got back to Konoha. They had no plans for how they wanted the next couple of months to play out nor an agreed strategy for how they were going to interact with everyone, and because of that, they hadn't clued Kakashi into any of those things, even though he needed to know, too.

So, even though he knew she wanted to argue, she did not. Instead, she wordlessly walked away back towards the room, which he took as agreement.

Subtly getting Kakashi's attention, Jiraiya made a complicated gesture involving a few eye movements, a couple sweeps of his hands, and a jerk of his head in Tsunade's direction, which he hoped conveyed something along the lines of "we're going to go talk, please watch the kids." Though he looked amused, it appeared to have worked, because he nodded. None of the others batted an eye at their leaving, even the ones who noticed, because a married couple spending some time alone was hardly suspicious.

"What would you like to talk about, Jiraiya?" she asked angrily, once he closed the door, leaning against the post of the middle bunk in a huff. "The fact that our best friend is committing horrendous crimes against humanity? The fact that we have to listen to the terrified screams of one of the kids he traumatized at night? The fact that the closest thing you or I ever had to a father has been turning a blind eye to repeated acts of treason? Or the fact that our dead friend's time-traveling son has recruited us to help stop a thousand-year-old goddess from using the moon to enslave humanity?"

Then, in a weird turn of events, she began to laugh. It came out in choking bursts, at first, but soon dissolved into full-blown cackling that caused her to have trouble staying standing. He looked at her like she'd lost her mind, certain she had.

"I'm sorry," she said, through giggles. "It's not funny at all. It's just, _the moon_. The goddamn mood is going to enslave us all."

Sorry as she was, she couldn't make the laughter stop—the manic sort that comes from not knowing what else _to_ do. Before he could restrain himself, he began to laugh, too. It wasn't as deranged as hers, only strangled guffaws that made his ribcage convulse, but it made him feel just as nutty. She was right; none of this was funny in the slightest.

But, it was all so _ridiculous._ There were all these horrifying things, too many of them, and they were all stacked up on top of one another in one ridiculous, terrifying bundle that they had to confront at once. So, she laughed, and he laughed, even after they began to feel sick.

"And little Kabuto," she said, barely getting the words out. "Is going to commit _mass necromancy_."

"And don't forget Madara," said Jiraiya, struggling just as much. "Who is still alive and using a tree to clone the First Hokage into an army of mindless soldiers."

"God, and here I thought I had two grandfathers," said Tsunade. "Turns out I've got thousands."

After a few more moments, they were able to pull themselves together. They each took a few deep breaths to calm down and Tsunade wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.

"How are you doing?" she asked, furrowing her brow in concern.

Though he probably shouldn't have been surprised, he was. Not only was it a rich question from someone who had just had a brief lapse in sanity, he had not been sure, before this moment, that she even cared. It was probably projection from the fact that the other relationships in his life were in shambles, but with her ignoring him this whole time, he was a little worried that the friend he'd once had in her was gone, too.

"About which?"

"Any of it," she said. "But probably the two people we need to talk about most."

In preparation for this conversation, he had prepared a list of things he wanted to say over the last month, but in the moment, they were all escaping him. "I don't even know. You?"

"I'm angry," she admitted. "And hurt, and betrayed. I thought better of the two of them, and the minimum standards that I had should not have been hard to keep. It was a worst-case scenario that I didn't even know I needed to be prepared for."

"I feel like that can be said for all of this," said Jiraiya, and she laughed lightly, but her expression quickly turned serious.

"Did you know?" she asked. "Even a little?"

"No," said Jiraiya, and he wasn't sure if that made him seem better or worse. "Somehow, I had no fucking clue."

"Me, neither," she said. "I mean, Orochimaru was always harsh, and calculating, and clever, but not—how were we too stupid to miss something like this?"

He meant it when he told her that she wasn't a fool back in the hotel room, but all of this had lowered his opinion of both of their intelligences. If they weren't stupid, how _could_ they have missed it? Sure, Tsunade hadn't been around for several years, and Jiraiya himself hadn't had a proper conversation with Orochimaru in over a year, but stuff like this ran deeper than whims. Good men—and that is what Jiraiya once thought Orochimaru was, a good man—did not decide to, overnight, brutally experiment on and kill a large group of children.

Tenzō's screams and the visions of the lab echoed in his mind, and he wondered if there would ever again be a moment where he wasn't haunted by them.

All life gone from her, she sat miserably on the foot of her bed and tucker her legs underneath her, and he took a seat on the foot of his own bed beside her. It was jarring to see Tsunade look...not quite _old_ , but in this form, older than he had ever seen her, and the plainness of the disguise made her seem even older. There were lines on her face when she frowned, and there was nothing to distract from the weary look in her eyes.

"The Third thought that Orochimaru was going to be his replacement one day," he said. "That has to mean something."

"Hiruzen-sensei, as we're finding out, is a shitty judge of character," said Tsunade. "How much do you think he knows?"

"Probably more than we'd like," said Jiraiya. "I have no doubt that he doesn't know about Orochimaru in explicit details, but he knows somethings up. I think he's conveniently not asking certain questions for fear of what he might find."

"And Danzō?" asked Tsunade. "How much do you think he knows about him?"

"You heard Kakashi. You know the answer."

"This is so fucking stupid," she said, humorously half-laughing as she ran her fingers through her hair. "But even though 'disappointed in him' would be an understatement, I'm still somehow worried that Hiruzen-sensei is going to be disappointed in me." Deliberately not making eye contact, she picked at her bedsheet. "Do you think my return is going to be…unwanted?"

"The Third would kill to have you back." If life was not currently determined to be unbearably unfunny, he might have found it humorous—how little she knew about how fond he was of her. "And I mean it."

She nodded, though with all that was going on, she couldn't feel properly relieved. "When did you start calling him 'the Third?'" she asked, still not making direct eye contact with him, but he could see her looking out of the corner of her eye.

He was not eager to spill his personal problems with the Third to her. However, if they were going to make all of this work, there needed to be openness between them—between all three of them, really, but Kakashi had done a good job of fulfilling his end of the bargain. How could he expect openness from her if he was not willing to give it?

"He and I haven't really talked in a long time," said Jiraiya. "Personally, I mean. Professionally, we're fine."

Looking back on it, he wished he hadn't argued so much. Though the Third was perfectly willing to fight, Jiraiya was more often than not the one who started it. Maybe if they hadn't spent so much time rowing with one another, they might have noticed Orochimaru before it was too late and a hall full of children were dead. Maybe the Third might have confided in Jiraiya more, and Jiraiya could have convinced him of _something—_

"Do you blame me?"

"What?" he asked, the question taking him off guard.

"For Hiruzen-sensei and Orochimaru," she said. "Do you blame me and the fact that I left?"

"No," he said, meaning it. "What the hell would you have done?"

"I don't know," she said, giving him a pointed look. "But I can tell you're blaming yourself, and you actually bothered to stick around in Konoha, so I must be even higher on your 'people to blame' list."

He locked his jaw in place irritably. "Look—"

"No," she interrupted. " _You_ look. People can't fix other people, Jiraiya. They have to fix themselves. You couldn't fix me, and not because you're _you,_ but because _I_ wasn't ready to fix me. You can't fix Hiruzen-sensei, and you can't fix Orochimaru, because they don't _want_ to be fixed. All of the shit they've pulled is on them, not you."

" _He_ fixed you," said Jiraiya, almost involuntarily, the lingering piece of bitterness dislodging in the emotion of the moment.

"What are you talking about?"

"Kakashi," he said. "He managed to fix you."

"What?" asked Tsunade, standing up in outrage. "Is this why you've been a such a dick to him for the last month? Because you think he managed to fix me while you couldn't?"

"I haven't—"

"Don't bullshit me," she said. "Don't think I haven't noticed, and I'm sure he has, too. Though, he's had so much other shit to deal with, such as _losing the people he cares about most_ , that I'm guessing he hasn't said anything about it."

"Why the hell do you care about him so much?" asked Jiraiya, standing, too. The first droplets of shame were beginning to creep through his veins, but he ignored them.

"Why the hell _don't_ you?" she asked. "He's a _good man._ Do you want to know what he said to me, back at the hotel? Do you want to know what he said to make me come along? He told me that there was a future, that _I_ had a future, where I was home and practicing medicine again—" Tears began to brim in her eyes, and she had to pause and look away to gain control of herself, making Jiraiya _really_ start to feel like a dick. "—he told me that life could get better, if I would let it. But, _I_ had to let it. Not him, not you, _me_. The only thing he did was tell me that I was a friend, that he understood what I was going through, and that he would be there for me as I figured out what it meant to get better."

Almost physically wincing, Jiraiya kicked himself. Deep down, he knew it was stupid to begin with, but her saying everything aloud highlighted just how ridiculous he had been. He was pointlessly an asshole to someone whose only crime was helping Tsunade, in the same way that Jiraiya could have but instead just chose not to.

"You're right," he said. "I've been a dick."

She nodded. "You know, somehow, he still thinks very highly of you. And not just professionally. I mean personally, despite your petty bullshit. Which makes this extra stupid, because I know _you_ think highly of _him_ , because if you didn't, you would have left already."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not me you need to apologize to."

"No, I mean, I'll apologize to him, too," said Jiraiya. "But I'm also sorry to you. We've known one another for three decades, but I wasn't there for you, too. I admit, I don't fully understand—" He made an open-palmed, circling gesture around her head that made her raise an eyebrow. "— _what you're going through_ , but that's not an excuse."

Examining his expression critically, she said nothing, looking, like he had earlier, surprised that he cared. Then, she grinned, and he grinned, and they both realized that, despite their worries and the length of time that had passed, their old teammate was still in there somewhere.

"I missed you," he said.

"I missed you, too," she said, sitting back on the bed, and he followed. "If you tell anyone I said this, I'll kill you, but I missed all of you."

"My lips are sealed," he said, and the grin faded. "About Kakashi, is he, you know, doing okay?"

"Would it kill the two of you to actually talk about things with one another?" He sent her a half-hearted glare, and she rolled her eyes. "He's dealing with everything well. Too well, actually."

"You think he's lying about something?"

She shook her head. "When…Dan died, I didn't decide to leave immediately. I didn't even think about it immediately. There's just so much you have do after those kinds of things. At first, I was busy with funeral arrangements, then busy with getting Shizune's adoption papers straightened out, then busy with sorting through his stuff and dealing with his house—" She looked down and fiddled with her bed sheet once again, and Jiraiya had a feeling she'd never told this to anyone before. "—but, eventually that initial crunch came to an end. Suddenly, I had a moment to think about things and that's when it all crashed down on top of me."

"You're worried this is crunch time," he guessed. "And it's about to end."

"Yeah," she said. "I mean, he's not going to leave. That's not him. But, I don't know what _is_ him. He loved them more than he'd ever loved anyone else, Jiraiya, and it worries me."

"Speaking of stupid," said Jiraiya. "Of all the things Kakashi told us that are going to happen, there's only one thing I can focus on, and it's not the apocalypse, the destruction of the village, or anything grand scale."

"Minato's and Kushina's deaths?"

He nodded. "It's all I think about. So, yes, I'm worried, too. But, we'll keep an eye on him, alright? He's been through a lot of weird shit before. Maybe he'll make it through just fine."

"Hopefully," she said, frowning. "Back to the topic at hand, so someone doesn't wonder why we've been gone for so long—"

"They won't," said Jiraiya, grinning. "Surely, I look like the kind of guy that can make it last longer than twenty minutes, don't I?" Though he should have known he would have to dodge a blow, he couldn't get out of the way in time, and her fist made contact with his shoulder. "Ow, fuck, sorry. You were saying?"

"Back to our _earlier_ conversation," she said, and that was enough to sober him up. "The way I see it, we need to ask ourselves two questions before we go back. First, can we forgive Hiruzen-sensei?"

"I can," said Jiraiya. Knowing how complicit he was in everything was a tough pill to swallow, but like Tsunade said, the Third was the closest thing either of them ever had to a father. They couldn't go back to the village and stay mad at one another forever. "But I can't trust him. Not anymore."

Evidently agreeing, Tsunade nodded. "And the second," she said, and for the first time in all of this, her voice truly broke. "Are we going to kill Orochimaru?"

He wished, for both of their sake, he could give her another answer. However, he could not sit there and condemn the Third's passiveness while doing the same thing.

"If it comes down to it," he said. "We have to, before he kills anybody else."

* * *

Jiraiya appreciated that the shower was a weird place to apologize, but it was the next time he and Kakashi were alone (except for Kabuto and Tenzō, who were in the communal shower with them), and it didn't involve the awkwardness of specifically asking Kakashi to talk to him one-on-one. Without warning, Jiraiya covered Tenzō's ears with his hands and looked at Kakashi expectantly. Raising an eyebrow, Kakashi hesitantly did the same to Kabuto's ears.

"I've been kind of a dick," Jiraiya whispered.

"Yeah,"

"I'm sorry about that."

Kakashi shrugged. "S'okay. I'm good to move on."

"Excellent," said Jiraiya, letting go of Tenzō's ears to clap Kakashi on the back.

Jiraiya went back to singing an old folk song from the Land of Lightning, making Kakashi wish someone would cover _his_ ears. However, he did smile, glad to know that, in the nick of time, Jiraiya and Tsunade had evidently worked out their issues, and whatever tenseness had developed between Jiraiya and Kakashi was gone.

* * *

Only six days after the previous one, an emergency meeting was called at nine in the evening. Yahiko did not even bother with an introductory speech.

"It's done," he said, nearly breathless from the enthusiasm. "The Leaf and the Rock have agreed to create a peace treaty, and everyone else has agreed to an armistice if they can keep it. As soon as pens touch paper, the war is officially over."

Kakashi thought that the news would be enough to make Yahiko too busy to chat, instead having to use his time to coordinate intel gatherers and make future plans. However, like he had the previous meeting, Yahiko beckoned him back into the war room.

"I can't talk long," said Yahiko, once the door was shut. "But I've been working on something I want to show you."

Yahiko pulled out a stack of paper from underneath one of his books and laid them out on the table to create a giant, hand-made map. Except, instead of just border lines and capitals, most of the countries contained a small list.

"I wrote out the strengths and weaknesses for all of them," said Yahiko. "The ones I knew, anyway. If we were to recruit each country into this theoretical union, we would need to know what they could bring to the table and what the table could bring them, to adjust our pitch accordingly."

"It's impressive," said Kakashi, examining it, and he meant it. It spoke of the skill of the Akatsuki's intelligence gathering network that he knew all those things in the first place. "You missed a strength for the Wave, though. They're good at transportation technology."

"Really?" asked Yahiko, raising an eyebrow.

"I went there once. Since they're not connected to anything and have trouble importing necessary items, like food, they've been gathering knowledge on it. They want to start planning the construction of a massive bridge that provides a travel-way to land. They're not very far, yet, but they're farther than anyone else."

"Interesting," said Yahiko, penciling it in. "That could be useful, down the line, if they ever finish it."

For the rest of the time that Yahiko could spare, Kakashi helped him flesh out the map further, and together they brainstormed countries or clusters of them that could directly benefit from trade with one another. By the time someone dragged Yahiko away, the map was a mess of sticky notes and fresh pen marks, and Kakashi got to leave the war room with three beautiful words on his mind.

 _He bought it._

(Oh, Those Crazy Russians)

The kids were already asleep by the time Kakashi arrived back at the room, as it was nearing eleven, so he waited to break the news to Jiraiya and Tsunade in the morning.

"He bought it," said Kakashi, once the kids were out of the room and on their way to breakfast without them. "It's time to go home."

None of them sure what to say, a silence fell over them—not awkward, just uncertain. They were glad to go home, certainly, to be away from the cramped bunker and the weird, political cultists. However, they were all nervous of the unknown that home would bring them. Tsunade was expecting it, so it was easiest for her, but it was throwing off Jiraiya and Kakashi more than they wanted to admit.

"So, our plan," said Tsunade awkwardly. "How are we navigating the first couple weeks?"

"We have to make sure we all stay in the village until January," said Jiraiya. "We'll be no use in stopping Danzō if one of us gets called away for longer than expected. I can do whatever the hell I want to do, and Tsunade can do whatever the hell she wants to do—"

"I'll apply for personal leave," said Kakashi. "Since we're passing off Tenzō and Kabuto as my long-lost relatives, it won't even be suspicious. Ninja take time off all the time to take care of young kids and handle clan business." He frowned. "Speaking of, we can't put Tenzō in the academy until after Danzō is taken care of. If he were to accidentally use wood style, it could ruin everything we've set up."

"I'll pretend to temporarily disqualify him for medical reasons," said Tsunade. "Say that there's some illness he needs to work through before he's physically ready for the academy. He still looks sickly. It'll be easy to pass off."

"We'll need to keep our heads down," said Jiraiya. "And keep the kids far away from Tsunade. She's going to cause a spectacle no matter what we do, and they can't afford to be in any sort of spotlight."

Sensing Tsunade's sudden discomfort and knowing that their return was a big deal for both of them, Kakashi asked, "Are you two ready?"

They couldn't lie to themselves or one another; it was weird. It was _very_ weird. Life in the Rain, while devoid of sunlight and normal people, had grown comfortable. The constant routine and the six of them crammed into their tiny barrack was an easy life to live, and they never had to directly acknowledge the clusterfuck that was waiting for them in their real lives. Once they stepped foot in the village, nothing would ever be the same.

"No," said Tsunade. She was terrified—of course, she was terrified. How could she not be? "But I think I won't ever be."

"You're not thinking of running, are you?" asked Jiraiya, only half joking, both he and Kakashi terrified, in turn, that she wouldn't stay.

"No," she said again. "I've got the two of you," and the admission relieved and charmed them both.

"It will be bizarre," said Jiraiya. "But we're bizarre, frankly. If we can make _here_ work, of all places, we can make home work. As long as we bounce off one another, we'll be fine."

"Score one for the specialized team of the biggest fuck-ups on the planet," she said, with a lazy smile, still half-asleep.

"I still think it's still too long of a name," joked Kakashi.

"Hmm," said Jiraiya, making a show of thinking. "How about the Future Unit for Covert Keeping of Safety?"

"The FUCKS?" asked Tsunade. "How long have you been sitting on that one?"

"About a week." Sitting up to see over Tsunade, Jiraiya studied Kakashi for a moment. "Are _you_ ready?"

Like Jiraiya said, it would be bizarre. This Konoha was home, but it was not _his_ home, all at the same time. He had been back to this Konoha twice, but for no more than twenty-four hours each time, and even then, he was haunted by the shadows of _his_ Konoha etched into every inch of the village. But, he missed the openness, and he missed the trees, and he missed the skyline and all the buildings it contained.

"Yeah," he said. "Let's go home."

 _Home, enough, anyway._

* * *

"Let me guess," said Yahiko, when Jiraiya caught Yahiko at a moment alone, entering the war room and shutting the door. "You're leaving?"

"How did you know?" asked Jiraiya, sitting down.

"I had a feeling you would when I announced the end of the war. I knew you'd want to be back in the village when it's made official and that the village would want you back then, too."

Jiraiya nodded. "We've decided to leave tomorrow."

"And your observations?" Like the last time he asked, there was a slip of vulnerability in his voice, despite his poise, like a child seeking approval from their parent. "What was your conclusion?"

Truthfully, the Akatsuki was whacked—a cult in every sense of the word—with a terrifyingly charismatic leader. But, it was an impressive cult, and Yahiko had turned into an impressive young adult, as had Nagato and Konan. Jiraiya couldn't help feeling pleased at how far they'd come. Jiraiya was still certain that, with a push in the right direction, which it seemed that Kakashi had given them, the Akatsuki could be force for good.

"A couple things," said Jiraiya. "First, I'm still really goddamn proud of you three. What you've created here is important. I can feel it."

"Well, as I said," said Yahiko, looking down at his notes, a slight blush to his cheeks but a smile on his face. "It's really all thanks to you."

"Yeah, well, you three made it easy to be a good teacher." _But not good enough_ , he thought, in regard to Nagato. "Second, when you're talking to other people and other countries, I would ease up on the 'comrades' and the intense peace talk and the 'rising as the dawn.' It works really well for the people _inside_ your organization, but for those that have no desire to be, it's going to freak them out."

"Noted."

"And lastly," said Jiraiya, resting his arms on the table and leaning forward. "Never forget the power a group like this can have. You have to always, _always_ use it for good and nothing else."

"We will."

"Swear to me."

"I swear," said Yahiko, raising an eyebrow. "Of course, I swear." He looked almost offended, surprised that his old teacher had to even reiterate such a concept to him. Examining Jiraiya and still seeing the tenseness in his demeanor, he narrowed his eyes. "Are we about to enter into the 'business' portion of this conversation?"

Jiraiya nodded. "I'm going to be honest with you. In January, Hanzō is planning on setting a trap for you. He's going to pretend to want to negotiate a peace agreement with you in order to separate you, Nagato, and Konan from the rest of the Akatsuki, and then he's going to kidnap Konan, kill her, kill you two, and kill the rest of the Akatsuki."

In the span of only thirty seconds, Yahiko silently cycled through an intense range of emotions. Dumbfounded processing came first, with a short-circuited, wide-eyed expression as he fully comprehended the meaning of Jiraiya's words. Resting his elbows on the table, he moved to surprise, taken back that Hanzō would be so bold, and then disbelief, knowing, in his heart, he would have fallen for it. Finally, he settled on anger, clenching his jaw in rage as the veins throbbed in his neck.

"I see," said Yahiko, attempting to sound even but failing.

"Conveniently," said Jiraiya. "The guy he's planning to send as the messenger is someone we really need dead. So, my proposal is this: me and the other two come back in January, we lure the messenger into our own trap, and we kill him. It saves you, and it saves us."

"Killing isn't quite our way."

"Sometimes it's the only way," said Jiraiya, but he quickly added: "I mean, don't make a habit of it. And, you know, double check with someone before you have to kill someone to make sure it's in the name of good and justified. Never get carried away."

"And you're certain of this? About Hanzō?"

"I am."

Pausing, Yahiko took a deep breath to steady himself. "Then, yes. I agree to your proposal."

"You can tell Nagato and Konan, but you can't mention this to the rest of the Akatsuki or let on at all that anything is wrong. If I had to guess, there's already a spy in your midst."

Miserably, Yahiko rested his chin in the palms of his hands. Though he was a great leader and even greater at maintaining a mask of grace and diplomacy, he _was_ only eighteen. He had suffered through several tragedies in his early life, but as the head of an organization, he was inexperienced in dealing with tough situations.

"I'm going to ask her to marry me, you know."

"Konan?" asked Jiraiya, raising his eyebrows.

Yahiko nodded. "I don't know when we'd have time or if we'd ever have time, but it's nice to pretend we might."

"I look forward to receiving the wedding invitation," said Jiraiya, with a grin. He stood, and Yahiko followed. The latter still looked melancholy, so Jiraiya clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll be back in January, in time. I promise."

"Alright." Before Jiraiya could go, he stopped him. "Jiraiya?"

"Yeah?" he asked, and Yahiko enveloped him in a hug.

"Thank you."

Jiraiya patted him on the back. "Any time, kid."

* * *

When Jiraiya returned to the room, he nodded at Kakashi and Tsunade, who had been waiting on the news of his success, and said, "Alright, kids, time for bed. We're going to have an early morning tomorrow."

"Why?" asked Shizune.

"Well, we still have to bleach Tenzō's hair, so if we want to get back to Konoha at a reasonable time, we'll need to get an early start."

Though the realization hit them at different times—first Shizune, then Tenzō, and lastly Kabuto—they each adopted the same, wide-eyed expression.

"Home?" asked Shizune, wide-eyed.

"Home."

"Home!" cheered all three of the kids in unison.

They began to excitedly freak out at one another, thrilled by the prospect of finally going back to Konoha. Shizune, though hesitant of being lumped in with the two younger boys early in their stay in the Rain, had developed a sibling-like fondness for them, and she energetically listed off all the things in Konoha that she was going to show them or take them to go do.

Exchanging glances, the adults, though amused by the kids' reactions, could not help but be less thrilled.

 _Out of the cult and into the catastrophe._

* * *

 **A/N:** And, there we are! Thanks for waiting around for this chapter. We love each and every one of you guys. 20!8 is the year of recovery, pass it around.

 **Fun Fact of the Chapter:** In the beginning stages of planning this story, we had to plot out what Kakashi was going to do about the major things he would want to change in the beginning, and we knew Kabuto was going to be on that list. So, we started joking around that he should just adopt Kabuto, and somewhere along the way we went "oh, wait, he could just totally adopt Kabuto."

 **Mini-FAQ:**

 **Q:** (paraphrased from a couple askers) Will there be conflict, or will this be more a fix-it fic?

 **A:** Yes, there's going to be a _lot_ of conflict. Thus far, we know it's only been mostly emotional conflict as everything is still getting set up and characters are getting used to one another, but next chapter the external conflict is going to pick up and there will be so much emotional and external conflict by the end of the story that you will probably want us to stop lol. Don't get us wrong; we love a good fix-it fic, and this was totally supposed to be one in the beginning.

But, as we were planning it out it, we realized that we were personally more interested on the different layers of exploring time travel itself, rather than just a mechanism to fix things: the psychological impact of such a world-shattering event on the time-traveler and on those around them, particularly those they choose to tell, the far-reaching political and social effects that something like that could have on a world, the consequences of playing god when you've changed too many things to have the upper hand anymore or created unintended effects. That sort of thing. Even though it was more of a niche interest, there were already people who had written fix-it fics with far more care than we wanted to, so we just decided to get as weird and complicated as we liked and somewhere along the way it morphed into whatever this is lol.

 **Q:** Will we see villain POVs?

 **A:** I wouldn't hold your breath _too_ much. There will be some scattered throughout as needed, whether we think it adds something or it's necessary for plot reasons, but for the most part, just as we don't want to spoil any of the villains' plans to our main characters, we don't want to spoil any of the villains' plans to you guys. People be schemin'.


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